While cleaning out the garage this past week, my mother-in-law found some old clothes that she used to wear. So she dug them out and started to wash them to be able to wear them again.
Last Friday, she asked if I would take her to visit her friends and they were going to go to Denny's.
Well, as it was time to leave, she comes out of our guest room in a see-through shirt and skin tight leggings. I mean, she is not the thinnest person. I bet she wears of size 14 or 16. And in fact, I know for sure that the shirt she was wearing was an XL. And she is not the youngest person either, as she is in his mid-fifties.
It was bad. You could see her gut peeking through the shirt, her fat rolls, her belly button, her black bra, her boobs that poured out over the bra. And her leggings that sucked into her thighs and hugged her booty. Ew.
In short - That outfit was not meant for her.
But I was not about to tell her that!
So when my husband got home from work, I told him to look at his mom's outfit when she got home.
And about thirty minutes later, he did just that.
And to my enjoyment, my husband went off on her. Saying everything I wanted to say but didn't have the guts to.
And to my surprise, she wasn't embarrassed, or didn't say something like, "Oh I didn't know you could see through it like that."
No! Nothing!
All she said was that she looked good.
But then my husband pulled out the big guns. And said.
"Mom, would you really wear that outfit to pick up your five year old granddaughter from school?"
That did it.
She stopped defending her outfit. Which I am guessing she knew was ridiculous to begin with, but always enjoys a good argument.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I can't do it?
If there is one phrase I do not like hearing from other people, it is that I cannot do something.
Sure, I am not talking about police saying I can't do drugs. Or my boss saying I can't throw teenagers off of buildings. But, I am talking about when people say that I cannot do something, or accomplish something in my personal life. It just bugs me. And I want to come right out and say to them, "Watch me."
My mom usually reverse physiology on me. So this is one of her tactics. And I have come to the age of understanding that is why she does it. To inspire me. To push me. But when someone other than my mom says these things to me, without trying to use that reversal trick on me, I get angry.
Very angry.
And probably I am more angry about this one than most, because it came from my mother-in-law.
After I got off of work the other day, I came home and was greeted to a semi/dirty house, not terrible, along with my hungry husband, her, and my five hungry pets.
I quickly turned into superwoman and started rattling the pots and pans and getting everyone fed.
After dinner, like just after dinner, with the dirty dishes still on the table, my mother-in-law says to me, "There is no way you are going to be able to do this with a baby, you need my help."
At first I was thinking, well, I did it just fine with you here, and I am guessing a baby is a lot easier than you! Not out loud of course.
But, then I did say aloud, like I usually do, "Watch me."
And that really took her by surprise I think.
Because she said, "REALLY? You think so??? I don't think so!!!" And got up and started walking toward our guest room.
Ugh.
What exactly was the purpose of her saying that to me? Was it to scare me into thinking that I can't actually do it, and I really do need her help? Was it to put me down because I have a lot of things and people to care for and now I am adding another person into the mix?
She has three children. She was a single mother. Our situations are far different from each. I have someone to co-parent. And so far. We only have one child. Sure, add the five pets in, and you probably got another child in there somewhere. But, really, only one! Not three.
Never tell someone that you know that they can't do something. You don't have the right. Especially if they do not ask for your opinion in the first place.
God knows what you can handle. And I strongly believe that the more you put your faith in Him, the less you have to worry about taking care of. He promises to do most of that for you.
People with little faith are sad creatures. I can do it.
Sure, I am not talking about police saying I can't do drugs. Or my boss saying I can't throw teenagers off of buildings. But, I am talking about when people say that I cannot do something, or accomplish something in my personal life. It just bugs me. And I want to come right out and say to them, "Watch me."
My mom usually reverse physiology on me. So this is one of her tactics. And I have come to the age of understanding that is why she does it. To inspire me. To push me. But when someone other than my mom says these things to me, without trying to use that reversal trick on me, I get angry.
Very angry.
And probably I am more angry about this one than most, because it came from my mother-in-law.
After I got off of work the other day, I came home and was greeted to a semi/dirty house, not terrible, along with my hungry husband, her, and my five hungry pets.
I quickly turned into superwoman and started rattling the pots and pans and getting everyone fed.
After dinner, like just after dinner, with the dirty dishes still on the table, my mother-in-law says to me, "There is no way you are going to be able to do this with a baby, you need my help."
At first I was thinking, well, I did it just fine with you here, and I am guessing a baby is a lot easier than you! Not out loud of course.
But, then I did say aloud, like I usually do, "Watch me."
And that really took her by surprise I think.
Because she said, "REALLY? You think so??? I don't think so!!!" And got up and started walking toward our guest room.
Ugh.
What exactly was the purpose of her saying that to me? Was it to scare me into thinking that I can't actually do it, and I really do need her help? Was it to put me down because I have a lot of things and people to care for and now I am adding another person into the mix?
She has three children. She was a single mother. Our situations are far different from each. I have someone to co-parent. And so far. We only have one child. Sure, add the five pets in, and you probably got another child in there somewhere. But, really, only one! Not three.
Never tell someone that you know that they can't do something. You don't have the right. Especially if they do not ask for your opinion in the first place.
God knows what you can handle. And I strongly believe that the more you put your faith in Him, the less you have to worry about taking care of. He promises to do most of that for you.
People with little faith are sad creatures. I can do it.
Five Year Renewal
Sometimes I am flipping the channels on the tv and run across TMZ Live. It is a spin off of the regular TMZ, celebrity spotting/news show with Harvey Levin.
Anyway, at the end of TMZ Live they always take viewer questions.
Well, the other day, not on any particular topic, a viewer posted that she believes that marriages should no longer be life long commitments, but instead five year contracts. And no divorce may be warranted during that five year stretch. If you get married, you agree to five years, period. And once the five years is up, you meet with an attorney or mediator to renegotiate your marital terms or are granted a divorce.
First, I have to say that my best guess is this lady is not currently married. I mean, really. A five year contract? Could you image the outcry this would cause among the religious community? And not to mention the outcry this would cause among the justice system? You mean to tell me that if your husband is beating you, you have to wait for the five years to be up to divorce him?
Second, I have not been married five years yet. Almost. But not yet. And what I have learned over the not-yet-five years that I have been married, is that my marriage has changed, a lot, since we first got married. We are not the same people we were back then. And I would not know what to renegotiate from year one to year five in hopes of making it to year ten. It doesn't work like that. When you marry someone, you agree to be flexible and to be bonded to that person regardless of change.
This five year contract vs. life long commitment brings up an interesting point about the separation of church and state. Society is trying so hard these days to keep the two so separate, but in reality, marriages force church and state to work together.
I think I will stick with the life long plan. Anyone can commit five years to you I think. But only one other person can commit his whole life to you.
Anyway, at the end of TMZ Live they always take viewer questions.
Well, the other day, not on any particular topic, a viewer posted that she believes that marriages should no longer be life long commitments, but instead five year contracts. And no divorce may be warranted during that five year stretch. If you get married, you agree to five years, period. And once the five years is up, you meet with an attorney or mediator to renegotiate your marital terms or are granted a divorce.
First, I have to say that my best guess is this lady is not currently married. I mean, really. A five year contract? Could you image the outcry this would cause among the religious community? And not to mention the outcry this would cause among the justice system? You mean to tell me that if your husband is beating you, you have to wait for the five years to be up to divorce him?
Second, I have not been married five years yet. Almost. But not yet. And what I have learned over the not-yet-five years that I have been married, is that my marriage has changed, a lot, since we first got married. We are not the same people we were back then. And I would not know what to renegotiate from year one to year five in hopes of making it to year ten. It doesn't work like that. When you marry someone, you agree to be flexible and to be bonded to that person regardless of change.
This five year contract vs. life long commitment brings up an interesting point about the separation of church and state. Society is trying so hard these days to keep the two so separate, but in reality, marriages force church and state to work together.
I think I will stick with the life long plan. Anyone can commit five years to you I think. But only one other person can commit his whole life to you.
Another One Bites The Dust
Last week we had my mother-in-law come for a visit.
Her main purpose was to go through all the crap, oh excuse me, all the boxes, she has stored in our garage for almost four years. We figured that she would have at least half of the boxes ready for the donation or trash bins, seeing that it has been four years since any of that crap, oh excuse me, stuff, has even seen the light of day.
Well.
After six days of going through each box very preciously, the total number of boxes ready for donation or trash. Equaled. Two.
Yup, that's right. Two effing boxes. Out of maybe twenty total.
And where are the other eighteen boxes suppose to go now you may wonder? Yes, that's right, right back where they came from. In our garage. Not her apartment. Oh no. Her apartment isn't big enough to hold all that stuff.
Well, news flash lady.
Neither is our garage.
Thankfully I have a very understanding husband.
And he claims that once the dust settles and a few weeks go by, that he will go back through those boxes and somehow, mysteriously, most will disappear. Ah. That will be wonderful.
What won't be so wonderful?
In four more years when we try this again with her, and she can't find all her treasured items.
Her main purpose was to go through all the crap, oh excuse me, all the boxes, she has stored in our garage for almost four years. We figured that she would have at least half of the boxes ready for the donation or trash bins, seeing that it has been four years since any of that crap, oh excuse me, stuff, has even seen the light of day.
Well.
After six days of going through each box very preciously, the total number of boxes ready for donation or trash. Equaled. Two.
Yup, that's right. Two effing boxes. Out of maybe twenty total.
And where are the other eighteen boxes suppose to go now you may wonder? Yes, that's right, right back where they came from. In our garage. Not her apartment. Oh no. Her apartment isn't big enough to hold all that stuff.
Well, news flash lady.
Neither is our garage.
Thankfully I have a very understanding husband.
And he claims that once the dust settles and a few weeks go by, that he will go back through those boxes and somehow, mysteriously, most will disappear. Ah. That will be wonderful.
What won't be so wonderful?
In four more years when we try this again with her, and she can't find all her treasured items.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
What's the Deal?
There is a person I know. An acquiescence, I guess you can say. Not a friend. Not an enemy. But, I do know her. I speak to her weekly. I read her Facebook posts. I reply to her emails.
And she totally gets under my skin.
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying I despise her. But sometimes I think I am close to saying that!
She doesn't work, is a stay-at-home mom. Has lots of opinions. Many that I do not share. Is unforgiving. Rude to a point. Acts like her poop don't stink. And the list goes on.
I usually like to think that I am an understanding person. I understand that I may not like you 100%, and in return you may not like me 100%. I understand that we may share differing views. I understand that you go about things differently than I would. Fine. We are all God's children, equally loved by Him, so let's move on.
But why can't I shake this person and chalk her up like all the others and place her in my understanding person viewpoint and move on?
I mean sometimes, I catch myself doing the dishes and a thought pops into my head about how I really do not like her.
Isn't that terrible?
At first, I thought this might be because I was jealous of her. I mean, sure, she doesn't have to work. She gets to play with crafts and kids all day. She gets to cook and bake all day. She seems to do fun things and buy fun things. I want that!
And so, I prayed about being jealous about her and for God to change my heart.
To my surprise, that wasn't my issue with her. And thankfully prayer is there to help me figure that out!
But now I am back to the drawing board. I still can't figure out what the real issue is. And I really want to, so I can move on and stop this bad thinking of her. I mean, really, I do not like thinking about people this way. Everyone has good in them. I know it. But, why can't I find a good in her? She just seems so, so, very, fake.
I saw a quote the other day that read, "People that have the most opinions of you, are the one's that barely know you."
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just know the top layer of her and not really her?
Maybe I am such a loud mouth, that I haven't given her a piece of my mind, and am upset that I can't tell her "like it is"? I mean, that is not right either...
But, I will continue to work on this. And regain my doing the dishes in peace.
And she totally gets under my skin.
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying I despise her. But sometimes I think I am close to saying that!
She doesn't work, is a stay-at-home mom. Has lots of opinions. Many that I do not share. Is unforgiving. Rude to a point. Acts like her poop don't stink. And the list goes on.
I usually like to think that I am an understanding person. I understand that I may not like you 100%, and in return you may not like me 100%. I understand that we may share differing views. I understand that you go about things differently than I would. Fine. We are all God's children, equally loved by Him, so let's move on.
But why can't I shake this person and chalk her up like all the others and place her in my understanding person viewpoint and move on?
I mean sometimes, I catch myself doing the dishes and a thought pops into my head about how I really do not like her.
Isn't that terrible?
At first, I thought this might be because I was jealous of her. I mean, sure, she doesn't have to work. She gets to play with crafts and kids all day. She gets to cook and bake all day. She seems to do fun things and buy fun things. I want that!
And so, I prayed about being jealous about her and for God to change my heart.
To my surprise, that wasn't my issue with her. And thankfully prayer is there to help me figure that out!
But now I am back to the drawing board. I still can't figure out what the real issue is. And I really want to, so I can move on and stop this bad thinking of her. I mean, really, I do not like thinking about people this way. Everyone has good in them. I know it. But, why can't I find a good in her? She just seems so, so, very, fake.
I saw a quote the other day that read, "People that have the most opinions of you, are the one's that barely know you."
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just know the top layer of her and not really her?
Maybe I am such a loud mouth, that I haven't given her a piece of my mind, and am upset that I can't tell her "like it is"? I mean, that is not right either...
But, I will continue to work on this. And regain my doing the dishes in peace.
MIL Visit
Ah, yes, my mother-in-law is visiting this week. (Notice the lack of cheers and applause.)
My husband and I are preparing for baby by cleaning out, donating, and organizing our house. This includes all closets, cupboards, drawers, and yes, even the garage.
Last year my sister-in-law and mother-in-law moved out of their apartment due to financial reasons. My SIL moved in with us. And my MIL moved in with a friend. And some how, like my SIL wasn't enough, all their "stuff" moved into our house as well, well, the rest of it, that didn't make the move the first time they moved into a smaller place four years ago.
This "stuff" took over our beautifully organized and space-ish garage, and turned it into a storage container. For over a year now, or if you count the stuff from before, almost four years now.
I was surprised when the closets and cupboards and drawers only took a week to do. And so I decided to head into the garage for a peak last week.
Bad idea.
Thankfully, I was able to pull my pregnancy powers over my husband, and he agreed to have his mom come up for a week to go through her items in the garage to donate, throw away, or take down with her to her new apartment in another city.
I have mentioned before, but my MIL is a germ freak. Bad. Like, she keeps her purse in the trunk of her car because it is too dirty to keep in the main part of the car, where your feet are...
And, on top of that, she is a pack rat. I know, doesn't really fit the stereotype, but boy is she ever!
I knew her cleaning out the garage was going to be a issue. But, I really want my garage back. And living in the desert, it is either really super hot, really super windy, or really super cold. It would be a dream to be able to have my car live in the garage where I can easily get baby in and out without regard for the outside conditions.
Before we went to pick her up for the week, we made two piles in the garage. One was our stuff that we accumulated over the last year and didn't have a proper place to put them in due to all the apartment stuff. This pile was small. Fit nicely into a corner. The other pile was my MIL's stuff. And that literally took up 3/4 of the floor of our garage. It was disgusting.
What is more disgusting? My MIL has yet to throw a single thing away, and this is day four of her working in there.
I mean really, I opened a box and saw old, dried up paints. Nothing but dead craft paint. And yesterday, I saw the same box, nicely tapped, labeled "craft paints" and in her "to still store here" pile.
No way Jose!
Those babies are toast once she is gone.
And I am sure a lot of other things will be too. My husband and I disagree on what of hers will stay in our garage and what will go away. I want it all gone. He wants most gone.
But my thinking is that if it won't fit into their new apartment now, it will never fit again. What good is a big box of dried paint containers in my garage, when she lives 150 miles away? Can't do crafts with it being in the garage.
Oh man.
If only I listened to my mother and really understood that you don't just marry your husband, you marry his family as well.
Then I would have had to the notion to move far away right after the wedding. Far enough away where the ability to house crap in my garage would not be an option.
My husband and I are preparing for baby by cleaning out, donating, and organizing our house. This includes all closets, cupboards, drawers, and yes, even the garage.
Last year my sister-in-law and mother-in-law moved out of their apartment due to financial reasons. My SIL moved in with us. And my MIL moved in with a friend. And some how, like my SIL wasn't enough, all their "stuff" moved into our house as well, well, the rest of it, that didn't make the move the first time they moved into a smaller place four years ago.
This "stuff" took over our beautifully organized and space-ish garage, and turned it into a storage container. For over a year now, or if you count the stuff from before, almost four years now.
I was surprised when the closets and cupboards and drawers only took a week to do. And so I decided to head into the garage for a peak last week.
Bad idea.
Thankfully, I was able to pull my pregnancy powers over my husband, and he agreed to have his mom come up for a week to go through her items in the garage to donate, throw away, or take down with her to her new apartment in another city.
I have mentioned before, but my MIL is a germ freak. Bad. Like, she keeps her purse in the trunk of her car because it is too dirty to keep in the main part of the car, where your feet are...
And, on top of that, she is a pack rat. I know, doesn't really fit the stereotype, but boy is she ever!
I knew her cleaning out the garage was going to be a issue. But, I really want my garage back. And living in the desert, it is either really super hot, really super windy, or really super cold. It would be a dream to be able to have my car live in the garage where I can easily get baby in and out without regard for the outside conditions.
Before we went to pick her up for the week, we made two piles in the garage. One was our stuff that we accumulated over the last year and didn't have a proper place to put them in due to all the apartment stuff. This pile was small. Fit nicely into a corner. The other pile was my MIL's stuff. And that literally took up 3/4 of the floor of our garage. It was disgusting.
What is more disgusting? My MIL has yet to throw a single thing away, and this is day four of her working in there.
I mean really, I opened a box and saw old, dried up paints. Nothing but dead craft paint. And yesterday, I saw the same box, nicely tapped, labeled "craft paints" and in her "to still store here" pile.
No way Jose!
Those babies are toast once she is gone.
And I am sure a lot of other things will be too. My husband and I disagree on what of hers will stay in our garage and what will go away. I want it all gone. He wants most gone.
But my thinking is that if it won't fit into their new apartment now, it will never fit again. What good is a big box of dried paint containers in my garage, when she lives 150 miles away? Can't do crafts with it being in the garage.
Oh man.
If only I listened to my mother and really understood that you don't just marry your husband, you marry his family as well.
Then I would have had to the notion to move far away right after the wedding. Far enough away where the ability to house crap in my garage would not be an option.
News Anchor Puts Down Oreos To Address Complaints
This morning I turned on Facebook to see lots of my friends sharing a link of a news anchor who did a piece regarding an email she received from a viewer regarding her weight.
The viewer email stated that the lady news anchor should consider slimming down for the public because obesity is a serious threat and her flaunting her obesity on the television each day gave the wrong image to her viewers, especially young girls.
The news anchor fought back and did a 2 minute piece reacting to the email and its contents and how she was being bullied and that even though she can take the nasty remarks, possibly obese viewers could not, and she was not going to stand for that.
Hm.
I have two thoughts.
One, it seems that we have become a society so used to seeing our public figures slim, in shape, and basically, sexually appealing, that any public figure that does not fit that perfect box, is an immediate outcast and is prone to hear about it. I mean, have you seen the local weather people these days? Straight from a magazine with the right clothes labels to prove it. I mean really, I don't need a fashion model to read me the temps for the week.
Two, as my husband puts it, I pay to watch TV, and since I have to look at ugly people all day in my regular life, I want to look at pretty people on TV, especially since I have to pay for it. I don't want to pay to look at ugly people when I can do that for free.
In the end, I really see no wrong here from either side. The viewer pays to watch the news program and offered an opinion, a pretty strong opinion, but an opinion nonetheless. The news anchor responded to the viewer as being a bully. Both were right in what they did.
But I guess I am leaning more towards the thought that if you are in the public eye, you need to roll with the punches. And if that means roll with the punches because you are overweight, than so be it. You have the ability to change that, and if you decide not to, then keep moving forward.
I don't want to hear your backlash at a viewer when I choose to watch the news. That isn't news. That is fighting back. Do it on your own time. Put it up on YouTube or something. But don't do it during the scheduled broadcast. I think that sends the wrong message. And, really, it isn't news. Do a piece on bullying instead and use that viewer email as an example. Not the main topic.
And, yes, society does seem to expect our public figures, such as news anchors, to be beautiful. But, there might be hope on the horizon, because the cast of Honey Boo Boo looks to be trying to change all of that.
The viewer email stated that the lady news anchor should consider slimming down for the public because obesity is a serious threat and her flaunting her obesity on the television each day gave the wrong image to her viewers, especially young girls.
The news anchor fought back and did a 2 minute piece reacting to the email and its contents and how she was being bullied and that even though she can take the nasty remarks, possibly obese viewers could not, and she was not going to stand for that.
Hm.
I have two thoughts.
One, it seems that we have become a society so used to seeing our public figures slim, in shape, and basically, sexually appealing, that any public figure that does not fit that perfect box, is an immediate outcast and is prone to hear about it. I mean, have you seen the local weather people these days? Straight from a magazine with the right clothes labels to prove it. I mean really, I don't need a fashion model to read me the temps for the week.
Two, as my husband puts it, I pay to watch TV, and since I have to look at ugly people all day in my regular life, I want to look at pretty people on TV, especially since I have to pay for it. I don't want to pay to look at ugly people when I can do that for free.
In the end, I really see no wrong here from either side. The viewer pays to watch the news program and offered an opinion, a pretty strong opinion, but an opinion nonetheless. The news anchor responded to the viewer as being a bully. Both were right in what they did.
But I guess I am leaning more towards the thought that if you are in the public eye, you need to roll with the punches. And if that means roll with the punches because you are overweight, than so be it. You have the ability to change that, and if you decide not to, then keep moving forward.
I don't want to hear your backlash at a viewer when I choose to watch the news. That isn't news. That is fighting back. Do it on your own time. Put it up on YouTube or something. But don't do it during the scheduled broadcast. I think that sends the wrong message. And, really, it isn't news. Do a piece on bullying instead and use that viewer email as an example. Not the main topic.
And, yes, society does seem to expect our public figures, such as news anchors, to be beautiful. But, there might be hope on the horizon, because the cast of Honey Boo Boo looks to be trying to change all of that.
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