The Work of Parents

Today I had a mom of three come in and chat for a bit.

After chatting it became very obvious that she is starting to get burnt out with all the things she has to do for and with her children. Taking them to practice. Going to games. Helping to fundraise for every event and activity each of her children are in. And to throw into the mix, her husband is gone a lot on travel.

She says, "It's my fault for having so many kids in the first place."

My heart hurt at this.

That's not a fault. Not at all. It's a blessing. And yes, blessings due come in disguises, but that often offers little relief.

Parents can easily feel so helpless when trying to do the best for their children. And saying no to things to try to limit their hectic schedules often leads to guilt.

So the answer?

I don't really know if there is one.

But I do know that if you prioritize, put God in control first, everything else will fall into place.

Fingers crossed.

Tidy Freak

I have become very aware of the fact that I am not a tidy person.

I would consider myself clean though. You know, I take showers regularly, throw the trash out, and put dirty clothes in dirty clothes hampers.

But, not tidy.

I don't usually organize the mail when it comes into the house. I leave piles of paperwork around. I don't put things back where they are supposed to go. To me, that's not dirty. No bugs will be attracted to my piles of papers.

It seems like the majority of my day consists of trying my best to keep things clean AND tidy. And that's a lot of work!

I would just prefer to keep things clean.

My office. My classroom. My car. My house (broken into rooms that need to be clean and tidy).

Whew!

Just the other day I tidied up my office and someone came in to see me and said how great my office looked.

Guess things aren't really considered clean until they are tidied up as well.

Santa's Load

The first Christmas that my husband and I spent together was several years ago.

Now, he bought me a Wii, a Wii fit board, a Goofy stuffed animal, and some other small things. He also took me to Disneyland.

I bought him socks.

But, the reason I bought him socks was because he was soooo out of socks and even started stealing mine to wear. And, I think he has forgotten this, but I also paid for our trip to Vegas just a few weeks before Christmas.

He has held my sock giving over my head ever since.

This year for my birthday, he gave me a door mat.

That's it.

And, yes, I did want a new door mat. He didn't do it to symbolize that he thought I was a door mat, or anything like that, I did ask for it.

But still. Just a door mat? Not even a card?

SO for his birthday on Wednesday I pulled a first Christmas on him. I got him a new PS3, a PS3 game, and three new t-shirts...in response to his door mat.

I hope this makes it even now!

I am so sick of hearing him tell that sock story.

Say what?

Maybe it is because I just had a baby and I am super aware of my weight, but recently my boss has been saying that a new hire is "so petite, so tiny, so little" and for some reason, I am very sensitive to him saying that.

He even mentioned how they were going to have to change things around in the office to accommodate the new hire better because, "she is so tiny."

Now, she isn't a midget. She's regular sized. And, yes, I would say she is thin Smaller than for me sure.

But why keep saying it?

You don't always have to mention someone's weight.

"Well you know, she is so little."

So annoying.

Maybe it is bothering me because my boss keeps pointing out weight issues with me.

I am active in a feeding the hungry ministry and he mentioned how people go into ministries that they are most comfortable with, ie, me fat, equals me in a food ministry.

And he often comments about how he can hear me walking down the hall in my heels - my guess is because I clunk down on the heel point because I am oh-so-fat and disgusting.

He also mentioned once how when he purchased a used vehicle, how he liked that the seats weren't worn out because the previous owner was petite and the seat cushions were saved from the weight of a big ass (okay, that last part I added).

I am being over sensitive, I do so admit.

But it would be nice if it felt like he valued someone's character over their weight instead.

Here Comes The - Blow out

My brother's wedding was last weekend.

I spent months trying to find the perfect dress for me to wear that would match the color scheme, be fancy, and accommodate nursing my son.

I thought I found the dress for me, but when it came and I tried it on, I found that it was not the dress for me, and I had to return it.

The search continued and I found another one that wasn't as good as the first, but good enough, and unfortunately, it was a little over budget. But, I got it anyway because time was running out.

I was so looking forward to my brother's wedding. Was excited to meet his new family.

Come the day of the wedding, I spent time getting ready for it, probably more time than normal. Put my baby in the cutest tuxedo onesie that I bought months before just for this event. Again, spending more than I should have on the outfit.

As soon as we sit down in the church before the ceremony, baby starts to cry and his dad takes him out the remainder of the ceremony. No one gets to see him in his cute little tuxedo.

When the ceremony is over, we go right into picture taking and our side of the family is up first. I take baby from my husband and hold him against my chest. And then it happened.

The largest diaper blow-out we have ever experienced.

Not only was it coming up out of his collar from his neck, it was also seeping through all of his clothes, right onto my dress, which was off-white on top.

I had no choice but to change not only baby, but also myself.

We didn't have back-up wedding clothes. So baby got put into a super casual white onesie with plaid shorts and I put on a black, casual, dress that I had worn the day before.

And we spent the rest of the wedding in that.

My entire day was ruined.

I spent months trying to pick out the cutest outfits for us. Spending way more than I should have on both outfits. And for what?

I was so upset.

So embarrassed.

So frustrated.

I couldn't even enjoy the rest of the night.

Everyone else was in their elegant dresses and here I was in day old clothes.

That is not how I wish to remember my brother's wedding. And I really try to find the laughter in most things, but not this. This totally ruined my day.

Actually, it ruined a couple of days - I am obviously still upset about it.

I really hope that one day I can laugh about this...or hold it over my baby's head, "Remember when you blew out your diaper and made mommy so mad at your uncle's wedding?" - saying that right in front of his date.

But  for right now, it is still pretty crappy!

Change of Pace

After having my baby, I have become aware that my lifestyle has changed! (Go figure, right?)

One noticeable thing that has changed is my community service efforts. 

I used to be very active in the once-a-week free meal service to the community at church. Almost once-a-month, I would plan, shop, prepare, cook, and clean-up a dinner for 100+ people (with help of course). And when I wasn't the PIC (person-in-charge), I would go and help serve. 

After having the baby, that has changed, and I actually have not been back since giving birth, and that has left a great void in me. 

I really enjoy giving back, and feel that I am called to do so as a Christian and a Christ follower. And I am finally into my new groove of life with baby on my hip and ready to get back into serving others. But, as it stands right now, I can't get back to the free dinners due to my scheduling. Obviously, I can't take the baby to church to cook without disruption and serve with hesitation. So that's out. 

So now I am left with - well - what can I do with baby - and what do I feel called to do?

After some quick prayer - yes, I confess it was quick, not the great mediation I should have gone for - I felt God leading me to pray for others and to bring meals to the sick and healing. 

I guess one of my spiritual gifts is food. Ha. Ha. 

No, but in all seriousness, after I had given birth, I was brought dinner on two different nights. And it was such a small gesture, but had such a huge impact! That was so helpful to me and my family, and I really enjoyed the visits. 

Last week, I felt the spirit move me to email two of my fellow church goers, not the ones in my regular circle, and I asked them if there was anything I could pray for them for. 

And there was!

There was some actually pretty serious situations that needed prayer. And I felt honored to be able to pray with them on their requests. 

I look forward to being led this week to pray for two or more people. 

Also, I brought three meals to three different families last week. This venture of taking meals to the sick and healing is one that I have never done before. And to be truthful, it is more cost involved than I have ever gotten into as well (the free dinners that I prepared were always reimbursed). But I felt the spirit lead me to this service as well, and I know enough through my faith to trust that this is possible on our budget. 

All through the cooking process for these families, I was able to pray over the food that it would nourish their bodies and heal their spirits. And that was special to me. 

When I went to deliver the food, I was able to give a friendly smile and hug and let them love on baby (all were recovering from knee or hip replacements, not something contagious!). And that was encouraging to me as well. 

Eventhough I miss serving with the free weekly dinners at church, I am learning to enjoy this new style of service. And I am grateful that the Holy spirit is there to lead me through new service opportunities that still lay ahead. 

Just have to remember to keep me heart and ears open for those opportunities. 

FINALLY!

My husband and I love fast food. 

Ok, maybe not love, but we like it. 

Ok, maybe not like, but we use it. 

Honestly, I can think of only like one thing I really at a fast food place. Out of all of the fast food places around! 

But, we do eat fast food a lot. In fact, last week, I counted how much we used it. We ate lunch three times at a fast food place. And we ate dinner twice. That's five times in one week!

Ouch.

And I wonder why I can't do a full work out at the gym.

But I got to thinking...

If you don't even like fast food all that much, why do you use it so often? 

Simple.

It's easy. 

When my husband and I are in a rush somewhere, we pick up fast food. When my husband and I are starving, we pick up fast food. When we have had a long day at work and don't want to mess up the kitchen, we get fast food instead. 

It's easy. 

It's fast. 

And we don't really have to plan ahead. 

We just drive there, pick something out and have it in our mouths in less than five minutes. 

Fast food, has made us very lazy eaters.

And I notice that I eat much healthier choices, when I am not starving. 

So. This week. I am going to test my theory of lazy eating. I have already gone shopping for food. I have meals planned out. And I am going to try my best to have meals ready before we get hungry, to avoid the rush to find something to eat fast when we are starving!

Wish me luck.