While cleaning out the garage this past week, my mother-in-law found some old clothes that she used to wear. So she dug them out and started to wash them to be able to wear them again.
Last Friday, she asked if I would take her to visit her friends and they were going to go to Denny's.
Well, as it was time to leave, she comes out of our guest room in a see-through shirt and skin tight leggings. I mean, she is not the thinnest person. I bet she wears of size 14 or 16. And in fact, I know for sure that the shirt she was wearing was an XL. And she is not the youngest person either, as she is in his mid-fifties.
It was bad. You could see her gut peeking through the shirt, her fat rolls, her belly button, her black bra, her boobs that poured out over the bra. And her leggings that sucked into her thighs and hugged her booty. Ew.
In short - That outfit was not meant for her.
But I was not about to tell her that!
So when my husband got home from work, I told him to look at his mom's outfit when she got home.
And about thirty minutes later, he did just that.
And to my enjoyment, my husband went off on her. Saying everything I wanted to say but didn't have the guts to.
And to my surprise, she wasn't embarrassed, or didn't say something like, "Oh I didn't know you could see through it like that."
No! Nothing!
All she said was that she looked good.
But then my husband pulled out the big guns. And said.
"Mom, would you really wear that outfit to pick up your five year old granddaughter from school?"
That did it.
She stopped defending her outfit. Which I am guessing she knew was ridiculous to begin with, but always enjoys a good argument.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I can't do it?
If there is one phrase I do not like hearing from other people, it is that I cannot do something.
Sure, I am not talking about police saying I can't do drugs. Or my boss saying I can't throw teenagers off of buildings. But, I am talking about when people say that I cannot do something, or accomplish something in my personal life. It just bugs me. And I want to come right out and say to them, "Watch me."
My mom usually reverse physiology on me. So this is one of her tactics. And I have come to the age of understanding that is why she does it. To inspire me. To push me. But when someone other than my mom says these things to me, without trying to use that reversal trick on me, I get angry.
Very angry.
And probably I am more angry about this one than most, because it came from my mother-in-law.
After I got off of work the other day, I came home and was greeted to a semi/dirty house, not terrible, along with my hungry husband, her, and my five hungry pets.
I quickly turned into superwoman and started rattling the pots and pans and getting everyone fed.
After dinner, like just after dinner, with the dirty dishes still on the table, my mother-in-law says to me, "There is no way you are going to be able to do this with a baby, you need my help."
At first I was thinking, well, I did it just fine with you here, and I am guessing a baby is a lot easier than you! Not out loud of course.
But, then I did say aloud, like I usually do, "Watch me."
And that really took her by surprise I think.
Because she said, "REALLY? You think so??? I don't think so!!!" And got up and started walking toward our guest room.
Ugh.
What exactly was the purpose of her saying that to me? Was it to scare me into thinking that I can't actually do it, and I really do need her help? Was it to put me down because I have a lot of things and people to care for and now I am adding another person into the mix?
She has three children. She was a single mother. Our situations are far different from each. I have someone to co-parent. And so far. We only have one child. Sure, add the five pets in, and you probably got another child in there somewhere. But, really, only one! Not three.
Never tell someone that you know that they can't do something. You don't have the right. Especially if they do not ask for your opinion in the first place.
God knows what you can handle. And I strongly believe that the more you put your faith in Him, the less you have to worry about taking care of. He promises to do most of that for you.
People with little faith are sad creatures. I can do it.
Sure, I am not talking about police saying I can't do drugs. Or my boss saying I can't throw teenagers off of buildings. But, I am talking about when people say that I cannot do something, or accomplish something in my personal life. It just bugs me. And I want to come right out and say to them, "Watch me."
My mom usually reverse physiology on me. So this is one of her tactics. And I have come to the age of understanding that is why she does it. To inspire me. To push me. But when someone other than my mom says these things to me, without trying to use that reversal trick on me, I get angry.
Very angry.
And probably I am more angry about this one than most, because it came from my mother-in-law.
After I got off of work the other day, I came home and was greeted to a semi/dirty house, not terrible, along with my hungry husband, her, and my five hungry pets.
I quickly turned into superwoman and started rattling the pots and pans and getting everyone fed.
After dinner, like just after dinner, with the dirty dishes still on the table, my mother-in-law says to me, "There is no way you are going to be able to do this with a baby, you need my help."
At first I was thinking, well, I did it just fine with you here, and I am guessing a baby is a lot easier than you! Not out loud of course.
But, then I did say aloud, like I usually do, "Watch me."
And that really took her by surprise I think.
Because she said, "REALLY? You think so??? I don't think so!!!" And got up and started walking toward our guest room.
Ugh.
What exactly was the purpose of her saying that to me? Was it to scare me into thinking that I can't actually do it, and I really do need her help? Was it to put me down because I have a lot of things and people to care for and now I am adding another person into the mix?
She has three children. She was a single mother. Our situations are far different from each. I have someone to co-parent. And so far. We only have one child. Sure, add the five pets in, and you probably got another child in there somewhere. But, really, only one! Not three.
Never tell someone that you know that they can't do something. You don't have the right. Especially if they do not ask for your opinion in the first place.
God knows what you can handle. And I strongly believe that the more you put your faith in Him, the less you have to worry about taking care of. He promises to do most of that for you.
People with little faith are sad creatures. I can do it.
Five Year Renewal
Sometimes I am flipping the channels on the tv and run across TMZ Live. It is a spin off of the regular TMZ, celebrity spotting/news show with Harvey Levin.
Anyway, at the end of TMZ Live they always take viewer questions.
Well, the other day, not on any particular topic, a viewer posted that she believes that marriages should no longer be life long commitments, but instead five year contracts. And no divorce may be warranted during that five year stretch. If you get married, you agree to five years, period. And once the five years is up, you meet with an attorney or mediator to renegotiate your marital terms or are granted a divorce.
First, I have to say that my best guess is this lady is not currently married. I mean, really. A five year contract? Could you image the outcry this would cause among the religious community? And not to mention the outcry this would cause among the justice system? You mean to tell me that if your husband is beating you, you have to wait for the five years to be up to divorce him?
Second, I have not been married five years yet. Almost. But not yet. And what I have learned over the not-yet-five years that I have been married, is that my marriage has changed, a lot, since we first got married. We are not the same people we were back then. And I would not know what to renegotiate from year one to year five in hopes of making it to year ten. It doesn't work like that. When you marry someone, you agree to be flexible and to be bonded to that person regardless of change.
This five year contract vs. life long commitment brings up an interesting point about the separation of church and state. Society is trying so hard these days to keep the two so separate, but in reality, marriages force church and state to work together.
I think I will stick with the life long plan. Anyone can commit five years to you I think. But only one other person can commit his whole life to you.
Anyway, at the end of TMZ Live they always take viewer questions.
Well, the other day, not on any particular topic, a viewer posted that she believes that marriages should no longer be life long commitments, but instead five year contracts. And no divorce may be warranted during that five year stretch. If you get married, you agree to five years, period. And once the five years is up, you meet with an attorney or mediator to renegotiate your marital terms or are granted a divorce.
First, I have to say that my best guess is this lady is not currently married. I mean, really. A five year contract? Could you image the outcry this would cause among the religious community? And not to mention the outcry this would cause among the justice system? You mean to tell me that if your husband is beating you, you have to wait for the five years to be up to divorce him?
Second, I have not been married five years yet. Almost. But not yet. And what I have learned over the not-yet-five years that I have been married, is that my marriage has changed, a lot, since we first got married. We are not the same people we were back then. And I would not know what to renegotiate from year one to year five in hopes of making it to year ten. It doesn't work like that. When you marry someone, you agree to be flexible and to be bonded to that person regardless of change.
This five year contract vs. life long commitment brings up an interesting point about the separation of church and state. Society is trying so hard these days to keep the two so separate, but in reality, marriages force church and state to work together.
I think I will stick with the life long plan. Anyone can commit five years to you I think. But only one other person can commit his whole life to you.
Another One Bites The Dust
Last week we had my mother-in-law come for a visit.
Her main purpose was to go through all the crap, oh excuse me, all the boxes, she has stored in our garage for almost four years. We figured that she would have at least half of the boxes ready for the donation or trash bins, seeing that it has been four years since any of that crap, oh excuse me, stuff, has even seen the light of day.
Well.
After six days of going through each box very preciously, the total number of boxes ready for donation or trash. Equaled. Two.
Yup, that's right. Two effing boxes. Out of maybe twenty total.
And where are the other eighteen boxes suppose to go now you may wonder? Yes, that's right, right back where they came from. In our garage. Not her apartment. Oh no. Her apartment isn't big enough to hold all that stuff.
Well, news flash lady.
Neither is our garage.
Thankfully I have a very understanding husband.
And he claims that once the dust settles and a few weeks go by, that he will go back through those boxes and somehow, mysteriously, most will disappear. Ah. That will be wonderful.
What won't be so wonderful?
In four more years when we try this again with her, and she can't find all her treasured items.
Her main purpose was to go through all the crap, oh excuse me, all the boxes, she has stored in our garage for almost four years. We figured that she would have at least half of the boxes ready for the donation or trash bins, seeing that it has been four years since any of that crap, oh excuse me, stuff, has even seen the light of day.
Well.
After six days of going through each box very preciously, the total number of boxes ready for donation or trash. Equaled. Two.
Yup, that's right. Two effing boxes. Out of maybe twenty total.
And where are the other eighteen boxes suppose to go now you may wonder? Yes, that's right, right back where they came from. In our garage. Not her apartment. Oh no. Her apartment isn't big enough to hold all that stuff.
Well, news flash lady.
Neither is our garage.
Thankfully I have a very understanding husband.
And he claims that once the dust settles and a few weeks go by, that he will go back through those boxes and somehow, mysteriously, most will disappear. Ah. That will be wonderful.
What won't be so wonderful?
In four more years when we try this again with her, and she can't find all her treasured items.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
What's the Deal?
There is a person I know. An acquiescence, I guess you can say. Not a friend. Not an enemy. But, I do know her. I speak to her weekly. I read her Facebook posts. I reply to her emails.
And she totally gets under my skin.
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying I despise her. But sometimes I think I am close to saying that!
She doesn't work, is a stay-at-home mom. Has lots of opinions. Many that I do not share. Is unforgiving. Rude to a point. Acts like her poop don't stink. And the list goes on.
I usually like to think that I am an understanding person. I understand that I may not like you 100%, and in return you may not like me 100%. I understand that we may share differing views. I understand that you go about things differently than I would. Fine. We are all God's children, equally loved by Him, so let's move on.
But why can't I shake this person and chalk her up like all the others and place her in my understanding person viewpoint and move on?
I mean sometimes, I catch myself doing the dishes and a thought pops into my head about how I really do not like her.
Isn't that terrible?
At first, I thought this might be because I was jealous of her. I mean, sure, she doesn't have to work. She gets to play with crafts and kids all day. She gets to cook and bake all day. She seems to do fun things and buy fun things. I want that!
And so, I prayed about being jealous about her and for God to change my heart.
To my surprise, that wasn't my issue with her. And thankfully prayer is there to help me figure that out!
But now I am back to the drawing board. I still can't figure out what the real issue is. And I really want to, so I can move on and stop this bad thinking of her. I mean, really, I do not like thinking about people this way. Everyone has good in them. I know it. But, why can't I find a good in her? She just seems so, so, very, fake.
I saw a quote the other day that read, "People that have the most opinions of you, are the one's that barely know you."
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just know the top layer of her and not really her?
Maybe I am such a loud mouth, that I haven't given her a piece of my mind, and am upset that I can't tell her "like it is"? I mean, that is not right either...
But, I will continue to work on this. And regain my doing the dishes in peace.
And she totally gets under my skin.
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying I despise her. But sometimes I think I am close to saying that!
She doesn't work, is a stay-at-home mom. Has lots of opinions. Many that I do not share. Is unforgiving. Rude to a point. Acts like her poop don't stink. And the list goes on.
I usually like to think that I am an understanding person. I understand that I may not like you 100%, and in return you may not like me 100%. I understand that we may share differing views. I understand that you go about things differently than I would. Fine. We are all God's children, equally loved by Him, so let's move on.
But why can't I shake this person and chalk her up like all the others and place her in my understanding person viewpoint and move on?
I mean sometimes, I catch myself doing the dishes and a thought pops into my head about how I really do not like her.
Isn't that terrible?
At first, I thought this might be because I was jealous of her. I mean, sure, she doesn't have to work. She gets to play with crafts and kids all day. She gets to cook and bake all day. She seems to do fun things and buy fun things. I want that!
And so, I prayed about being jealous about her and for God to change my heart.
To my surprise, that wasn't my issue with her. And thankfully prayer is there to help me figure that out!
But now I am back to the drawing board. I still can't figure out what the real issue is. And I really want to, so I can move on and stop this bad thinking of her. I mean, really, I do not like thinking about people this way. Everyone has good in them. I know it. But, why can't I find a good in her? She just seems so, so, very, fake.
I saw a quote the other day that read, "People that have the most opinions of you, are the one's that barely know you."
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just know the top layer of her and not really her?
Maybe I am such a loud mouth, that I haven't given her a piece of my mind, and am upset that I can't tell her "like it is"? I mean, that is not right either...
But, I will continue to work on this. And regain my doing the dishes in peace.
MIL Visit
Ah, yes, my mother-in-law is visiting this week. (Notice the lack of cheers and applause.)
My husband and I are preparing for baby by cleaning out, donating, and organizing our house. This includes all closets, cupboards, drawers, and yes, even the garage.
Last year my sister-in-law and mother-in-law moved out of their apartment due to financial reasons. My SIL moved in with us. And my MIL moved in with a friend. And some how, like my SIL wasn't enough, all their "stuff" moved into our house as well, well, the rest of it, that didn't make the move the first time they moved into a smaller place four years ago.
This "stuff" took over our beautifully organized and space-ish garage, and turned it into a storage container. For over a year now, or if you count the stuff from before, almost four years now.
I was surprised when the closets and cupboards and drawers only took a week to do. And so I decided to head into the garage for a peak last week.
Bad idea.
Thankfully, I was able to pull my pregnancy powers over my husband, and he agreed to have his mom come up for a week to go through her items in the garage to donate, throw away, or take down with her to her new apartment in another city.
I have mentioned before, but my MIL is a germ freak. Bad. Like, she keeps her purse in the trunk of her car because it is too dirty to keep in the main part of the car, where your feet are...
And, on top of that, she is a pack rat. I know, doesn't really fit the stereotype, but boy is she ever!
I knew her cleaning out the garage was going to be a issue. But, I really want my garage back. And living in the desert, it is either really super hot, really super windy, or really super cold. It would be a dream to be able to have my car live in the garage where I can easily get baby in and out without regard for the outside conditions.
Before we went to pick her up for the week, we made two piles in the garage. One was our stuff that we accumulated over the last year and didn't have a proper place to put them in due to all the apartment stuff. This pile was small. Fit nicely into a corner. The other pile was my MIL's stuff. And that literally took up 3/4 of the floor of our garage. It was disgusting.
What is more disgusting? My MIL has yet to throw a single thing away, and this is day four of her working in there.
I mean really, I opened a box and saw old, dried up paints. Nothing but dead craft paint. And yesterday, I saw the same box, nicely tapped, labeled "craft paints" and in her "to still store here" pile.
No way Jose!
Those babies are toast once she is gone.
And I am sure a lot of other things will be too. My husband and I disagree on what of hers will stay in our garage and what will go away. I want it all gone. He wants most gone.
But my thinking is that if it won't fit into their new apartment now, it will never fit again. What good is a big box of dried paint containers in my garage, when she lives 150 miles away? Can't do crafts with it being in the garage.
Oh man.
If only I listened to my mother and really understood that you don't just marry your husband, you marry his family as well.
Then I would have had to the notion to move far away right after the wedding. Far enough away where the ability to house crap in my garage would not be an option.
My husband and I are preparing for baby by cleaning out, donating, and organizing our house. This includes all closets, cupboards, drawers, and yes, even the garage.
Last year my sister-in-law and mother-in-law moved out of their apartment due to financial reasons. My SIL moved in with us. And my MIL moved in with a friend. And some how, like my SIL wasn't enough, all their "stuff" moved into our house as well, well, the rest of it, that didn't make the move the first time they moved into a smaller place four years ago.
This "stuff" took over our beautifully organized and space-ish garage, and turned it into a storage container. For over a year now, or if you count the stuff from before, almost four years now.
I was surprised when the closets and cupboards and drawers only took a week to do. And so I decided to head into the garage for a peak last week.
Bad idea.
Thankfully, I was able to pull my pregnancy powers over my husband, and he agreed to have his mom come up for a week to go through her items in the garage to donate, throw away, or take down with her to her new apartment in another city.
I have mentioned before, but my MIL is a germ freak. Bad. Like, she keeps her purse in the trunk of her car because it is too dirty to keep in the main part of the car, where your feet are...
And, on top of that, she is a pack rat. I know, doesn't really fit the stereotype, but boy is she ever!
I knew her cleaning out the garage was going to be a issue. But, I really want my garage back. And living in the desert, it is either really super hot, really super windy, or really super cold. It would be a dream to be able to have my car live in the garage where I can easily get baby in and out without regard for the outside conditions.
Before we went to pick her up for the week, we made two piles in the garage. One was our stuff that we accumulated over the last year and didn't have a proper place to put them in due to all the apartment stuff. This pile was small. Fit nicely into a corner. The other pile was my MIL's stuff. And that literally took up 3/4 of the floor of our garage. It was disgusting.
What is more disgusting? My MIL has yet to throw a single thing away, and this is day four of her working in there.
I mean really, I opened a box and saw old, dried up paints. Nothing but dead craft paint. And yesterday, I saw the same box, nicely tapped, labeled "craft paints" and in her "to still store here" pile.
No way Jose!
Those babies are toast once she is gone.
And I am sure a lot of other things will be too. My husband and I disagree on what of hers will stay in our garage and what will go away. I want it all gone. He wants most gone.
But my thinking is that if it won't fit into their new apartment now, it will never fit again. What good is a big box of dried paint containers in my garage, when she lives 150 miles away? Can't do crafts with it being in the garage.
Oh man.
If only I listened to my mother and really understood that you don't just marry your husband, you marry his family as well.
Then I would have had to the notion to move far away right after the wedding. Far enough away where the ability to house crap in my garage would not be an option.
News Anchor Puts Down Oreos To Address Complaints
This morning I turned on Facebook to see lots of my friends sharing a link of a news anchor who did a piece regarding an email she received from a viewer regarding her weight.
The viewer email stated that the lady news anchor should consider slimming down for the public because obesity is a serious threat and her flaunting her obesity on the television each day gave the wrong image to her viewers, especially young girls.
The news anchor fought back and did a 2 minute piece reacting to the email and its contents and how she was being bullied and that even though she can take the nasty remarks, possibly obese viewers could not, and she was not going to stand for that.
Hm.
I have two thoughts.
One, it seems that we have become a society so used to seeing our public figures slim, in shape, and basically, sexually appealing, that any public figure that does not fit that perfect box, is an immediate outcast and is prone to hear about it. I mean, have you seen the local weather people these days? Straight from a magazine with the right clothes labels to prove it. I mean really, I don't need a fashion model to read me the temps for the week.
Two, as my husband puts it, I pay to watch TV, and since I have to look at ugly people all day in my regular life, I want to look at pretty people on TV, especially since I have to pay for it. I don't want to pay to look at ugly people when I can do that for free.
In the end, I really see no wrong here from either side. The viewer pays to watch the news program and offered an opinion, a pretty strong opinion, but an opinion nonetheless. The news anchor responded to the viewer as being a bully. Both were right in what they did.
But I guess I am leaning more towards the thought that if you are in the public eye, you need to roll with the punches. And if that means roll with the punches because you are overweight, than so be it. You have the ability to change that, and if you decide not to, then keep moving forward.
I don't want to hear your backlash at a viewer when I choose to watch the news. That isn't news. That is fighting back. Do it on your own time. Put it up on YouTube or something. But don't do it during the scheduled broadcast. I think that sends the wrong message. And, really, it isn't news. Do a piece on bullying instead and use that viewer email as an example. Not the main topic.
And, yes, society does seem to expect our public figures, such as news anchors, to be beautiful. But, there might be hope on the horizon, because the cast of Honey Boo Boo looks to be trying to change all of that.
The viewer email stated that the lady news anchor should consider slimming down for the public because obesity is a serious threat and her flaunting her obesity on the television each day gave the wrong image to her viewers, especially young girls.
The news anchor fought back and did a 2 minute piece reacting to the email and its contents and how she was being bullied and that even though she can take the nasty remarks, possibly obese viewers could not, and she was not going to stand for that.
Hm.
I have two thoughts.
One, it seems that we have become a society so used to seeing our public figures slim, in shape, and basically, sexually appealing, that any public figure that does not fit that perfect box, is an immediate outcast and is prone to hear about it. I mean, have you seen the local weather people these days? Straight from a magazine with the right clothes labels to prove it. I mean really, I don't need a fashion model to read me the temps for the week.
Two, as my husband puts it, I pay to watch TV, and since I have to look at ugly people all day in my regular life, I want to look at pretty people on TV, especially since I have to pay for it. I don't want to pay to look at ugly people when I can do that for free.
In the end, I really see no wrong here from either side. The viewer pays to watch the news program and offered an opinion, a pretty strong opinion, but an opinion nonetheless. The news anchor responded to the viewer as being a bully. Both were right in what they did.
But I guess I am leaning more towards the thought that if you are in the public eye, you need to roll with the punches. And if that means roll with the punches because you are overweight, than so be it. You have the ability to change that, and if you decide not to, then keep moving forward.
I don't want to hear your backlash at a viewer when I choose to watch the news. That isn't news. That is fighting back. Do it on your own time. Put it up on YouTube or something. But don't do it during the scheduled broadcast. I think that sends the wrong message. And, really, it isn't news. Do a piece on bullying instead and use that viewer email as an example. Not the main topic.
And, yes, society does seem to expect our public figures, such as news anchors, to be beautiful. But, there might be hope on the horizon, because the cast of Honey Boo Boo looks to be trying to change all of that.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Extinct Like the Dinosaurs
Well it is that time of year again, when my small community hosts its annual Relay for Life 24-hour relay for the American Cancer Society.
This will be my 12th year that I have been involved with this fundraiser. And actually, thinking about it, I have spent all of those 12 events on the track and field the entire night! There is nothing more inspiring and uplifting than to get to the event in the evening, watch the sun set, wait all night through the long dark hours, and then finally see the sun rise once again.
That part of the event, eventhough the coordinators had nothing to do with that piece, God takes care of that one for us, but that part of the event, truly shows the cycle of one's life with cancer. The great sunny day is all of the years before being diagnosed with cancer. The sun set marks the first sign of cancer as there is still hope that cancer is not the diagnoses. Then there comes the deep dark night when some hope gets lost and your body is not longer your own. And finally through the darkness, there comes the sun again, sweeping away the cancer and allowing you to go into remission and to begin to regain your own body back and regain all hope.
12 years ago I attended my first relay event on the track and field at my high school. I was a freshmen. This is was the second or third relay that our community had put on, so it still kind of new people. My high school marching band was asked to play at the opening ceremony, and reluctantly I agree to attend with them.
We began the opening ceremony with the Star Spangled Banner and then did some football songs and ended with the school's fight song. As I clung to my trombone during those songs, I am pretty sure I did not get one single note out of that instrument that day.
A month before the relay, my best friend, who I had met in kindergarten and remained friends, had his life taken by that ugly thing called cancer. And in fact, the relay event that year, was in his honor.
I had no idea that my friend was so sick at the time. I knew he had struggled with cancer ever since the second grade, but at the 8th grade promotion ceremony, just a few months earlier from the relay, he was able to attend.
Somehow he had enough strength and courage to make it to the promotion ceremony eventhough he had just lost his right leg due to the spreading of cancer in his bones.
I proudly watched him as he stepped onto that promotion stage to receive his certificate, up the three stairs and back down, on crutches, with his right pant leg hemmed up to his knee.
That was just four months before he died.
When I found out he had passed away, I felt something I had never felt before. Deep sadness.
Sure, I had had lots of other people die in my life before him. My grandfather included. And all of those passings where difficult for me too, but all of those who had passed before my friend, were over the age of 70. At that "old" age, there is no where to go but up (literally!), right?
But I had never experienced a death of a friend my own age.
How could God allow this to happen? Doesn't he know that only "old" people should die?
My parents graciously allowed to take me out of school for my friend's funeral. I remember his funeral as if it were yesterday.
There were lots of people I knew. But they were all older. I was probably the only person my friend's age there, besides his cousins. Was that because he spent most of his life at home fighting this disease so he didn't really have any friends? Or was it because it was a school day? I like to think that it is just because it was a school day...
I sat in the second row of the chairs on the grass of the cemetery, right in front of my friend's coffin. On his coffin there was a picture of him from the second grade. And a remote control car next to the picture frame (when he got sick, RC cars became his favorite hobby, as it didn't require much physical effort).
I asked my mom why his picture was not more recent - since the second grade was year's ago. She didn't know the real answer, but guessed that, the second grade was the last time he had a professional photo taken, and right before he got sick and didn't start to look like himself.
As I sat in that second row chair I prayed to God for peace for my friend. That he no longer had to suffer. And that God provide peace for his parents, and allow them to not suffer any longer as well.
And as I allowed my thoughts to drift in prayer, I remember saying to God, what do I do now?
And for the first time, I heard God whisper to me. He said, "Now you have to live your life to the absolute fullest, because Brian no longer can."
I knew it was God. The voice that came into my head, and offered that soft whisper was not my own. And I didn't feel myself processing that thought as it occurred in my head.
God spoke to me for the first time that day. Well, at least, I heard God speak to me for the first time that day.
And what he had to say was pretty inspiring.
To live my life to the fullest.
Participating in the relay each year reminds me of just that. To live your life to the fullest. No matter what. No matter if you have cancer. No matter if your a caretaker of someone with cancer. Live your life to the fullest.
Because you never know when it will be taken away from you.
(And, ps, the title of this post, "extinct like the dinosaurs" is the 2012 relay theme. To make cancer extinct like the dinosaurs! Amen to that!)
This will be my 12th year that I have been involved with this fundraiser. And actually, thinking about it, I have spent all of those 12 events on the track and field the entire night! There is nothing more inspiring and uplifting than to get to the event in the evening, watch the sun set, wait all night through the long dark hours, and then finally see the sun rise once again.
That part of the event, eventhough the coordinators had nothing to do with that piece, God takes care of that one for us, but that part of the event, truly shows the cycle of one's life with cancer. The great sunny day is all of the years before being diagnosed with cancer. The sun set marks the first sign of cancer as there is still hope that cancer is not the diagnoses. Then there comes the deep dark night when some hope gets lost and your body is not longer your own. And finally through the darkness, there comes the sun again, sweeping away the cancer and allowing you to go into remission and to begin to regain your own body back and regain all hope.
12 years ago I attended my first relay event on the track and field at my high school. I was a freshmen. This is was the second or third relay that our community had put on, so it still kind of new people. My high school marching band was asked to play at the opening ceremony, and reluctantly I agree to attend with them.
We began the opening ceremony with the Star Spangled Banner and then did some football songs and ended with the school's fight song. As I clung to my trombone during those songs, I am pretty sure I did not get one single note out of that instrument that day.
A month before the relay, my best friend, who I had met in kindergarten and remained friends, had his life taken by that ugly thing called cancer. And in fact, the relay event that year, was in his honor.
I had no idea that my friend was so sick at the time. I knew he had struggled with cancer ever since the second grade, but at the 8th grade promotion ceremony, just a few months earlier from the relay, he was able to attend.
Somehow he had enough strength and courage to make it to the promotion ceremony eventhough he had just lost his right leg due to the spreading of cancer in his bones.
I proudly watched him as he stepped onto that promotion stage to receive his certificate, up the three stairs and back down, on crutches, with his right pant leg hemmed up to his knee.
That was just four months before he died.
When I found out he had passed away, I felt something I had never felt before. Deep sadness.
Sure, I had had lots of other people die in my life before him. My grandfather included. And all of those passings where difficult for me too, but all of those who had passed before my friend, were over the age of 70. At that "old" age, there is no where to go but up (literally!), right?
But I had never experienced a death of a friend my own age.
How could God allow this to happen? Doesn't he know that only "old" people should die?
My parents graciously allowed to take me out of school for my friend's funeral. I remember his funeral as if it were yesterday.
There were lots of people I knew. But they were all older. I was probably the only person my friend's age there, besides his cousins. Was that because he spent most of his life at home fighting this disease so he didn't really have any friends? Or was it because it was a school day? I like to think that it is just because it was a school day...
I sat in the second row of the chairs on the grass of the cemetery, right in front of my friend's coffin. On his coffin there was a picture of him from the second grade. And a remote control car next to the picture frame (when he got sick, RC cars became his favorite hobby, as it didn't require much physical effort).
I asked my mom why his picture was not more recent - since the second grade was year's ago. She didn't know the real answer, but guessed that, the second grade was the last time he had a professional photo taken, and right before he got sick and didn't start to look like himself.
As I sat in that second row chair I prayed to God for peace for my friend. That he no longer had to suffer. And that God provide peace for his parents, and allow them to not suffer any longer as well.
And as I allowed my thoughts to drift in prayer, I remember saying to God, what do I do now?
And for the first time, I heard God whisper to me. He said, "Now you have to live your life to the absolute fullest, because Brian no longer can."
I knew it was God. The voice that came into my head, and offered that soft whisper was not my own. And I didn't feel myself processing that thought as it occurred in my head.
God spoke to me for the first time that day. Well, at least, I heard God speak to me for the first time that day.
And what he had to say was pretty inspiring.
To live my life to the fullest.
Participating in the relay each year reminds me of just that. To live your life to the fullest. No matter what. No matter if you have cancer. No matter if your a caretaker of someone with cancer. Live your life to the fullest.
Because you never know when it will be taken away from you.
(And, ps, the title of this post, "extinct like the dinosaurs" is the 2012 relay theme. To make cancer extinct like the dinosaurs! Amen to that!)
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Application Fever
As I mentioned in an earlier post, my husband has been looking for work in a new field.
And in an attempt to save some money, we do not have internet access at home. I only have access while at work.
And of course, as it stands, almost all job applications are posted where? Yes, online. And guess how you apply for these jobs? Yes, again, online.
In the beginning of his job hunting, I would scout out good openings for him and on his lunch he would come and pick and choose from my list and then apply for all that he felt were worth a shot.
But then over the weeks and months that past, this got really old. And he started to slack off. Or I wanted to go to a lunch buffet instead of being at work. And all these other excuses.
So what begin happening, was that I was now not only finding myself scouting for possible jobs, but now I was applying to them as well.
And you know how boring that is? Especially when it is not even for you?
I don't know what is it nowadays, but you can't just upload a pre-made resume into an application engine and send it off.
No. You have to create an account. This includes a username, but the first username you typed in was already taken, so you had to come up with another one. Then you must create a password that has 10 letters, 3 have to be uppercase, 2 have to be the same, and you also need to add 4 numbers, but do not place them together.
Now that you are into the system, you have to create a profile. Include your name, age, address, and boiler plate questionnaire and security questions regarding if you are a sex offender or not.
And then you have to type in your resume into their own unique system, so you have to retype your entire work history, all your references, all your educational backgrounds, and be sure to include the street and city addresses for all as well.
It is just ridiculous.
By the time you have all of that complete, two hours have gone by, easy.
And now you have that done, you have two more applications to complete by the end of the day (deadlines), and both are on different job sites, so the process has to begin all over again for both.
And you know, I have been applying for so many jobs for him, that it has come to the point now where I have created usernames and passwords with different organizations, and then find another opening at the same organization that I have already created a profile for months ago, and yup you guessed it, I forgot that I did. So now I have to either call their IT department and ask for a new username and password, or wait for an email explaining the ten steps it takes to reclaim the account.
Oh, if only I was more organized. I could have all this information in one place.
Or better yet, if I had known that I still would be applying for jobs seven months after I started, maybe I would have thought about saving that information in the first place.
But at the very least, my typing skills have improved. And, I know my husband's personal information like the back of my hand. And probably even better than I know my own.
So, here's to the one day where I can stop job hunting for him and instead just focus on washing his new work uniforms.
And in an attempt to save some money, we do not have internet access at home. I only have access while at work.
And of course, as it stands, almost all job applications are posted where? Yes, online. And guess how you apply for these jobs? Yes, again, online.
In the beginning of his job hunting, I would scout out good openings for him and on his lunch he would come and pick and choose from my list and then apply for all that he felt were worth a shot.
But then over the weeks and months that past, this got really old. And he started to slack off. Or I wanted to go to a lunch buffet instead of being at work. And all these other excuses.
So what begin happening, was that I was now not only finding myself scouting for possible jobs, but now I was applying to them as well.
And you know how boring that is? Especially when it is not even for you?
I don't know what is it nowadays, but you can't just upload a pre-made resume into an application engine and send it off.
No. You have to create an account. This includes a username, but the first username you typed in was already taken, so you had to come up with another one. Then you must create a password that has 10 letters, 3 have to be uppercase, 2 have to be the same, and you also need to add 4 numbers, but do not place them together.
Now that you are into the system, you have to create a profile. Include your name, age, address, and boiler plate questionnaire and security questions regarding if you are a sex offender or not.
And then you have to type in your resume into their own unique system, so you have to retype your entire work history, all your references, all your educational backgrounds, and be sure to include the street and city addresses for all as well.
It is just ridiculous.
By the time you have all of that complete, two hours have gone by, easy.
And now you have that done, you have two more applications to complete by the end of the day (deadlines), and both are on different job sites, so the process has to begin all over again for both.
And you know, I have been applying for so many jobs for him, that it has come to the point now where I have created usernames and passwords with different organizations, and then find another opening at the same organization that I have already created a profile for months ago, and yup you guessed it, I forgot that I did. So now I have to either call their IT department and ask for a new username and password, or wait for an email explaining the ten steps it takes to reclaim the account.
Oh, if only I was more organized. I could have all this information in one place.
Or better yet, if I had known that I still would be applying for jobs seven months after I started, maybe I would have thought about saving that information in the first place.
But at the very least, my typing skills have improved. And, I know my husband's personal information like the back of my hand. And probably even better than I know my own.
So, here's to the one day where I can stop job hunting for him and instead just focus on washing his new work uniforms.
Wanting to Shake Them Silly
In my work with college-age students I am finding myself more and more frustrated with how these young people chose to live their young lives, and the outlooks they have of them...
First, there is this freshmen in college, actually, she has not even had one day in college yet, and she thinks that she is Miss Independent. This is hilarious to me because her parents are 100% footing her college bill right down to her newly purchased dorm room shower curtain. I am sorry. But you are not at all, any sort, of independent, if your parents financial support your every move. You are still a child. You are still under the rules and regulations of your parents. Regardless if you are living under their roof anymore or not. Period.
Second, there is this sophomore in college who still has yet to find a part-time job after allegedly looking for over a year now. This person takes only 2 classes per semester, so 8 hours a week of in-class time. What does this person do the rest of the week? Today, this person visited me and was complaining about how difficult it is to find a job. And I asked - well, did you apply here? The answer - well, no because I refuse to work there because of the way their employees are treated, I saw the documentary. Ok, I responded, so did you apply at this place then? The answer - you guessed it, well no, because I don't want to work with shredded cheese (ACTUALLY answer might I add).
And finally, there is this other sophomore in college who still has yet to learn to let go and move on. The person's home life seems to have been shot from the get-go, but yet this person still lives at home and deals with the people that bring such drama into his life. And it seems that every other week he has moved out of his house because of reoccurring issues at home. So how do you help someone that doesn't help themselves? The very first time this person decided to move out, I helped him find a place to live. I gave him money to get by on until he could find a job. But that didn't work. He found an excuse to move back home - the very next week. Gave all the money to his family in the house he moved out of. And stopped looking for a job to instead work for free in the home, doing childcare for the younger siblings and running errands. And now this person has moved out again. No where to go. No money. No job.
At this point, I should just throw up my hands and say I quit.
That would probably really make me happy actually.
But then I remember how Jesus told us to forgive our neighbor 77 times. And if you read that scripture closely, it isn't 77 times in a lifetime. It is 77 times in the SAME day for the SAME offense. That's perfect love right there folks.
So no. I won't quit.
I won't give up.
And even when I feel frustrated and mad and upset over all these different situations I encounter, I will keep chugging along as Jesus would ask me to.
I should not get upset over something that I cannot control. And from lessons learned, I definitely cannot control this!
But you know who can?
Yup. God. God can handle all these situations. And he understands my frustrations too, I am sure.
So I will take comfort in knowing that God once again has my back. And that I was not placed here on earth to solve all the problems. Jesus was.
All I have to do now is show compassion for his people, and try to stay composed while doing it.
First, there is this freshmen in college, actually, she has not even had one day in college yet, and she thinks that she is Miss Independent. This is hilarious to me because her parents are 100% footing her college bill right down to her newly purchased dorm room shower curtain. I am sorry. But you are not at all, any sort, of independent, if your parents financial support your every move. You are still a child. You are still under the rules and regulations of your parents. Regardless if you are living under their roof anymore or not. Period.
Second, there is this sophomore in college who still has yet to find a part-time job after allegedly looking for over a year now. This person takes only 2 classes per semester, so 8 hours a week of in-class time. What does this person do the rest of the week? Today, this person visited me and was complaining about how difficult it is to find a job. And I asked - well, did you apply here? The answer - well, no because I refuse to work there because of the way their employees are treated, I saw the documentary. Ok, I responded, so did you apply at this place then? The answer - you guessed it, well no, because I don't want to work with shredded cheese (ACTUALLY answer might I add).
And finally, there is this other sophomore in college who still has yet to learn to let go and move on. The person's home life seems to have been shot from the get-go, but yet this person still lives at home and deals with the people that bring such drama into his life. And it seems that every other week he has moved out of his house because of reoccurring issues at home. So how do you help someone that doesn't help themselves? The very first time this person decided to move out, I helped him find a place to live. I gave him money to get by on until he could find a job. But that didn't work. He found an excuse to move back home - the very next week. Gave all the money to his family in the house he moved out of. And stopped looking for a job to instead work for free in the home, doing childcare for the younger siblings and running errands. And now this person has moved out again. No where to go. No money. No job.
At this point, I should just throw up my hands and say I quit.
That would probably really make me happy actually.
But then I remember how Jesus told us to forgive our neighbor 77 times. And if you read that scripture closely, it isn't 77 times in a lifetime. It is 77 times in the SAME day for the SAME offense. That's perfect love right there folks.
So no. I won't quit.
I won't give up.
And even when I feel frustrated and mad and upset over all these different situations I encounter, I will keep chugging along as Jesus would ask me to.
I should not get upset over something that I cannot control. And from lessons learned, I definitely cannot control this!
But you know who can?
Yup. God. God can handle all these situations. And he understands my frustrations too, I am sure.
So I will take comfort in knowing that God once again has my back. And that I was not placed here on earth to solve all the problems. Jesus was.
All I have to do now is show compassion for his people, and try to stay composed while doing it.
The In-Law Situation
Have you ever heard the old saying, "God will only give you what you can handle"?
Well, I believe this saying and often look to it in times of stress and overbooking and overall craziness.
But, in a different light, I now see this saying taking on a new meaning.
For background - my husband has never known his father. His mother and grandmother raised him and he has never even laid eyes on his father. Doesn't even really know if his father is still alive or where he even lives.
So when I married my husband, I gained only a mother-in-law, not a father-in-law too.
By this point I thought I had scored. Because I only had to deal with one in-law parent instead of two, or in some cases three or four.
But over the last few years of our marriage, I can see that God truly did give me all I can handle with only giving me one in-law parent.
When I married my husband I was told to be careful, because he and I are from different cultures, and he was raised much differently than me. And down the line, some where down the line, we would run into trouble.
I brushed them off as most excited new brides would, thinking that love would conquer all - but now I see where those good-doers were coming from.
My mother-in-law is an issue.
She is an issue in my life, my husband's life, our married life, and the lives of her other children.
And without going into much more detail for personal sake, I really can't handle her.
This next semester in MOPS, I am leading a group of new mothers through a Bible study book entitled, Mothering without Guilt. It hopes to teach these young moms how to let go of "false" guilt and learn to expect "true" guilt in her parenting.
One major "false" guilt that mothers carry is being what the book calls a "martyr mother." You know the type, where the mom puts guilt on her children for their successes and for her sacrifices she made raising her children and in return her children owe her things like phone calls, presents, money, and sometimes even more.
One perfect example of my mother-in-law being a "martyr mother" is when we offered her to stay with us for a week in our home, and she invited over eight of her personal friends to come over for dinner without asking us first, or even giving us a heads-up. As she put it, "This is my house. I can invite whomever I want over."
Well, no lady, this isn't your house. As I recall, you didn't have anything to do with purchasing it. But in her mind, it is her house, because it is her son's house, and her son belongs to her because she raised him.
And I am just venting here, but whenever I joking point out to her a characteristic of my husband's personality, she always responds by saying, "You don't think I know this? I am his mother! I know everything about him!" Well, again, no lady, you don't. His co-workers now know more about him than you.
I know that my relationship with my mother-in-law will only get worse once my child is born. I have seen it with the relationship of her other daughter-in-law and her first grandchild.
My only hope now is that God continues to hold my tongue when all I want to do is lash out at her for everything she has done, and let my husband do all the talking.
And I will continue to seek refuge knowing that God blessed me with only one in-law parent to deal with - because that's all he knew I could handle.
Well, I believe this saying and often look to it in times of stress and overbooking and overall craziness.
But, in a different light, I now see this saying taking on a new meaning.
For background - my husband has never known his father. His mother and grandmother raised him and he has never even laid eyes on his father. Doesn't even really know if his father is still alive or where he even lives.
So when I married my husband, I gained only a mother-in-law, not a father-in-law too.
By this point I thought I had scored. Because I only had to deal with one in-law parent instead of two, or in some cases three or four.
But over the last few years of our marriage, I can see that God truly did give me all I can handle with only giving me one in-law parent.
When I married my husband I was told to be careful, because he and I are from different cultures, and he was raised much differently than me. And down the line, some where down the line, we would run into trouble.
I brushed them off as most excited new brides would, thinking that love would conquer all - but now I see where those good-doers were coming from.
My mother-in-law is an issue.
She is an issue in my life, my husband's life, our married life, and the lives of her other children.
And without going into much more detail for personal sake, I really can't handle her.
This next semester in MOPS, I am leading a group of new mothers through a Bible study book entitled, Mothering without Guilt. It hopes to teach these young moms how to let go of "false" guilt and learn to expect "true" guilt in her parenting.
One major "false" guilt that mothers carry is being what the book calls a "martyr mother." You know the type, where the mom puts guilt on her children for their successes and for her sacrifices she made raising her children and in return her children owe her things like phone calls, presents, money, and sometimes even more.
One perfect example of my mother-in-law being a "martyr mother" is when we offered her to stay with us for a week in our home, and she invited over eight of her personal friends to come over for dinner without asking us first, or even giving us a heads-up. As she put it, "This is my house. I can invite whomever I want over."
Well, no lady, this isn't your house. As I recall, you didn't have anything to do with purchasing it. But in her mind, it is her house, because it is her son's house, and her son belongs to her because she raised him.
And I am just venting here, but whenever I joking point out to her a characteristic of my husband's personality, she always responds by saying, "You don't think I know this? I am his mother! I know everything about him!" Well, again, no lady, you don't. His co-workers now know more about him than you.
I know that my relationship with my mother-in-law will only get worse once my child is born. I have seen it with the relationship of her other daughter-in-law and her first grandchild.
My only hope now is that God continues to hold my tongue when all I want to do is lash out at her for everything she has done, and let my husband do all the talking.
And I will continue to seek refuge knowing that God blessed me with only one in-law parent to deal with - because that's all he knew I could handle.
Arguing With God
Some interesting life improvements have happened since my last post. First, I am pregnant with my first child. This is exciting, but it came more as a surprise and even six months into the pregnancy, I still feel that this really isn't happening to me. Second, my spouse has been applying for jobs in a new state we wish to move to and finally got offered an interview for a potential job there. Third, what I thought would be a permanent house guest, finally moved out after living with us free and clear for a year and a half.
But why am I not more excited?
I titled this post "arguing with God" because I shamefully think that I am. Eventhough things in my life are progressing, it just doesn't seem to be progressing the way I think it should be, or at the speed I think it should be. Why can't God just allow for the progressions I want, when I want, and how I want them to happen?
Now I know this is a problem with most people and God. People feel that God has left them or that God doesn't want to see them succeed. And to them I say hogwash. But for some reason, now that my own x, y, and z are not adding up for me, I seem to be in the same sad boat.
The problem with arguing with God is that he doesn't argue back. And that's probably the most frustrating. Because the best part about arguing is the back-and-forth and the best possible potential to win the argument at hand. But this doesn't happen when you argue with God. Actually the opposite happens. But you try your best argument on God, he simply rebuttals with a smile and a gentle laugh.
And this makes it worse.
Because deep down inside that stubborn heart of yours (or mine as this case may be), you know that you are wrong. You know that you have no right arguing with the King of Kings. And the only reason you are arguing in the first place, is because you lost your faith in Him. And as a Christian you are taught to never, ever, lose the faith.
Yes, I sinfully admit that I wish God would take better care of me. At least in my eyes.
But I know that my eyes are deceiving. And I need to reconnect with my Father in heaven. Stop denying his grace. Stop trying to prove I'm right. And be opened to his blessings in his rightful time. Not mine.
And I shouldn't want to push my agenda without God's backing in the first place.
The Lord truly only knows where I would be then.
But why am I not more excited?
I titled this post "arguing with God" because I shamefully think that I am. Eventhough things in my life are progressing, it just doesn't seem to be progressing the way I think it should be, or at the speed I think it should be. Why can't God just allow for the progressions I want, when I want, and how I want them to happen?
Now I know this is a problem with most people and God. People feel that God has left them or that God doesn't want to see them succeed. And to them I say hogwash. But for some reason, now that my own x, y, and z are not adding up for me, I seem to be in the same sad boat.
The problem with arguing with God is that he doesn't argue back. And that's probably the most frustrating. Because the best part about arguing is the back-and-forth and the best possible potential to win the argument at hand. But this doesn't happen when you argue with God. Actually the opposite happens. But you try your best argument on God, he simply rebuttals with a smile and a gentle laugh.
And this makes it worse.
Because deep down inside that stubborn heart of yours (or mine as this case may be), you know that you are wrong. You know that you have no right arguing with the King of Kings. And the only reason you are arguing in the first place, is because you lost your faith in Him. And as a Christian you are taught to never, ever, lose the faith.
Yes, I sinfully admit that I wish God would take better care of me. At least in my eyes.
But I know that my eyes are deceiving. And I need to reconnect with my Father in heaven. Stop denying his grace. Stop trying to prove I'm right. And be opened to his blessings in his rightful time. Not mine.
And I shouldn't want to push my agenda without God's backing in the first place.
The Lord truly only knows where I would be then.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tebow Fever
I used to never watch sports. I grew up in a household that never watched sports, so hey, I didn't either.
But when I got married, that all changed. And, I guess you can say for the better.
My husband loves the Florida Gator football team. And so when we got married, I started watching gator games with him and fell in love (football love, calm down) with the gator quarterback Tim Tebow. He was handsome. He was charming. And best yet, he was a great man of God.
He would write scriptures on his cheeks for the games and we would often look up the scriptures later to see what they were.
When he graduated from UF, he was drafted to the Denver Broncos. Didn't really matter to me, as I wasn't a really big NFL fan yet. So, Broncos it is. Go Broncos!
We followed his seasons with the Broncos very closely and our Tebow faith was strong.
Now in the off season, we learn that Peyton Manning, a great quarterback with many Super Bowl rings to prove it, was signed by the Broncos for the 2012 season. Leaving Tebow in the dark.
So where would Tebow go?
Well, it hasn't been an easy NFL ride at my house, as we were not thrilled with the trade of Manning, but today I see that my man Tebow was traded to the New York Jets, as the second string quarterback, but with hopes of becoming first.
Oh brother.
I just hope that Tebow remains in the spotlight. Some people really don't like him as an athlete, but he does amazing things for the kingdom of God. And he uses his spotlight to glorify Him.
So, I guess all I can say is, Go Jets!
But when I got married, that all changed. And, I guess you can say for the better.
My husband loves the Florida Gator football team. And so when we got married, I started watching gator games with him and fell in love (football love, calm down) with the gator quarterback Tim Tebow. He was handsome. He was charming. And best yet, he was a great man of God.
He would write scriptures on his cheeks for the games and we would often look up the scriptures later to see what they were.
When he graduated from UF, he was drafted to the Denver Broncos. Didn't really matter to me, as I wasn't a really big NFL fan yet. So, Broncos it is. Go Broncos!
We followed his seasons with the Broncos very closely and our Tebow faith was strong.
Now in the off season, we learn that Peyton Manning, a great quarterback with many Super Bowl rings to prove it, was signed by the Broncos for the 2012 season. Leaving Tebow in the dark.
So where would Tebow go?
Well, it hasn't been an easy NFL ride at my house, as we were not thrilled with the trade of Manning, but today I see that my man Tebow was traded to the New York Jets, as the second string quarterback, but with hopes of becoming first.
Oh brother.
I just hope that Tebow remains in the spotlight. Some people really don't like him as an athlete, but he does amazing things for the kingdom of God. And he uses his spotlight to glorify Him.
So, I guess all I can say is, Go Jets!
Promotion, Shmoshion
Last night I failed as a wife.
Total bomb. Total failure. Totally hopeless.
My husband has been having lots of stresses at work. He has been working at his "new" job for almost eight months now after being unemployed for almost 6 months prior. He is still the last person that they have hired on, and he started from the bottom, and now he is considered # 2 in ranking positions. Not bad if you ask me!
Anyway, a few weeks ago it got around that the store manager was going to be transferring to another store in another state. So who would be promoted to take over as store manager? Or, who would they bring in?
Well, I got it into my head that my husband should be promoted to store manager. He is the # 2 anyway underneath the store manager # 1 position and he knows the layout of the business and he basically has been running the store anyway since the store manager's transfer.
My first fail - getting it into my husband's head that he should be promoted to the # 1 position too.
I went on and on and on for weeks over how he should approached the district manager and ask for the # 1 job and how even though he has been there the shortest amount of time, he is the best choice for the company and would not let the company down.
My second, major fail - getting too emotional when he was turned down.
Yesterday he came home for lunch (a 45-minute lunch instead of the regular hour because the store needs him that badly) and told me that he talked it over with the district manager and he didn't think that my husband was ready for the # 1 spot yet, and that the job would not go to him.
Now being in my reasonable professional state-of-mind, this makes sense. My husband has not been with the company very long, so much so he doesn't even qualify for vacation time yet, and he has not been trained for such a position.
But yesterday, oh man, I was livid! I was pissed! I even threw a few "f" bombs out. How dare he be turned down for the job! He deserves it. He can do it. And he would make the company better.
After ranting to my husband, he looked at me and told me that me being so upset over this is not helping him in anyway. It just makes him madder. It just makes him more stressed out. And I shouldn't be acting this way.
Deep breath.
He is so right.
Major fail on my part. It is not my place to add to his stress. And if there is still that small chance that he could end up being promoted, he may blow it, if his head isn't all together, and he is too emotional like me!
So, I took it God. Which I should have done in the first place...
I got the dogs and my devotional book of prayers and scriptures and we went out in the backyard after he left after lunch.
I read page after page of the book until I felt my heart soften. Then I went to God in prayer. Asking him to release the stresses that I have placed on my husband and to help me keep positive and light even in this heavy situation.
My prayers turned to gratitude and I realized that just a few months ago, my prayer was that my husband even be given a job.
And I am so grateful to God for blessing us with his employment once again. And to think that he was at the very bottom when he started, and now he is # 2. What a blessing!
I shouldn't get so caught up in emotion over this promotion of being # 1. If he is right for the job, and God sees this promotion as best fit for us, then he will be promoted. But it is not for me to try to control this situation, or get emotional about it. God is in control. God is able to provide for us. And even though I try and try to remember that always, sometimes I fall short.
It's funny how things are never good enough, huh? I am always wanting more, wanting better. And yesterday when I was praying to God out in the sunshine, I understood why.
It's because this earth wasn't made for us. We are separated from God here. Nothing will be good enough until we are where we belong, with our creator, living forever in heaven with Him.
Until that time, we have to keep our eyes toward heaven. Nothing can get you down when you are always looking up!
How To Be A Domestic Diva - Part I
One of my guilty pleasures in life is to watch the silly, very dramatic, Army Wives on Lifetime.
Last episode it unveiled a plot that had a main character having to plan a last minute BBQ for her husband’s work crew. And she was kicking and screaming the entire time. She works a full time job, she is a mother of two, her house is a mess, and the BBQ would be in less than a week! There was no way this was going to happen.
But, even through her kicking and screaming, in fact, the BBQ was going to happen, like it or not.
Ha ha. I get a chuckle out of this because I have been in her place many times in my life, and lots of those times, in my marriage. My husband would come home and I would be ready for bed and he would go, “Oh honey, by the way” – ugh – by the way – the worst phrase to come out of his mouth right before bed time.
But, being the domestic diva that I am, I have learned to adapt. I have learned how to be the wonderful domestic diva that every woman strives for! (Well, at least I try!)
The secret?
Plan ahead. Figure out what may come at you unexpectedly and be prepared for it.
You know that your husband’s job may require you to host a BBQ at the last minute? Plan ahead. Buy invitations next time you are at the market and store them away, and why not stash enough stamps too for postage? Put in your cook book a BBQ party sheet for “x” amount of guests and include a shopping list. Buy party plates and napkins on sale and stash those away too. Plan ahead. Do all the work you can ahead of time.
In my life, I don’t necessarily have to plan last minute BBQs, but I do have to plan for overnight guests last minute. So guess what? I have planned ahead! I have made a space in my guest room closet to store extra bed sheets, pillows, extra blankets, clean bath towels, extra toiletry items, and water bottles. Now everytime we have an unexpected guest, I am zero to five minutes to accommodating them. Why? Say it with me, because I have planned ahead.
Another last minute “domestic diva” issue that arises a lot in my own life is nurturing the sick and nurturing families who have suffered a death in their family. Nothing more unexpected than that, wouldn’t you say? Before I found this secret of planning ahead to be a domestic diva, I was like a chicken with my head cut off when someone I cared for became very ill or a person would pass away. I couldn’t find time in my busy day to nurture that person or that family. And then what happened? I ended up doing nothing, because I was too stressed out over what I was going to do for them and when I was going to fit it all in. So now I am prepared. I have get well cards and sympathy cards at the ready (and extra stamps next to them just in case!). I have cake mixes and frosting and disposable pans stocked in my pantry to make quickly and to get out quickly. I have a frozen lasagna and frozen garlic bread in my freezer (which I bought at the store on sale – didn’t make!) for those times when I want to bring a dinner over to a sick person – either frozen, as is, or I would bake it for them and then take over.
Being a domestic diva is not for the faint of heart. It takes work. It takes time. It takes – planning ahead!
I Got A New Depression State of Mind
(Title – a spin off “I got a New York state of mind” – cute huh?!)
It’s funny how people can get depressed over things that do not actually affect them. I asked one person I was counseling to make a list of the things that were making her depressed. She came up with three things. And none of those things directly affected her life – they affected other people’s lives, but not hers.
So why do we take on other people’s problems as our own? Are we trying to be good friends? Are we being good Christians? Do we just like be dramatic? Maybe we think that by taking on other’s problems it makes the other person feel better? I just don’t know…but I do know that…
You were not put on this earth to take on other people’s problems.
Jesus was.
And last time I checked, you were not Jesus. Not even close. So why are you trying to be Him?
The best thing you can do for someone who is going through a rough patch is to pray with them, be there to listen to them, be there to encourage them. But don’t be there to take on their problems. Give those problems to Jesus. It’s okay. He can handle it. And lots more!
Don’t waste the time in your day for worry, doubt, depression, sadness, or grief. Use that time instead to glorify God. Put God first. Put God’s children first. Don’t put emotion first. It’ll just get you down.
Put Intentional Prayer to Use
Whenever I have a counseling session with someone, I focus first toward prayer.
Prayer is one of the most important aspect in a Christian’s life. It is our one personal connection to God, beside worship and taking communion. And in some ways, it is like “divine” counseling!
In my opinion, there is no point to counseling without praying first. You cannot solve your problems without God’s help. And you can’t get God’s help without prayer. So, that’s why I start counseling sessions going over prayer! Making sure that the person has prayed over this situation in her life before coming to me, seeing what her prayer schedule looks like, and to see what she knows about praying.
You see, my role as a mentor in counseling situations is not to fix you or your problems. It is for you to allow God to intervene in your life to fix you and for you to learn to trust in God’s will for your life.
And really, that’s the problem in the first place! That’s why people get to the point of needing counseling, because they forget that they cannot solve their problems without God’s intervention and without trusting in God’s will for their lives. (Even I need reminding of that sometimes too!)
If someone said to me that she doesn’t trust in God, then the session is over, as far as I am concerned. I am happy to help you find that confidence in trusting Him, but we cannot move forward in counseling until you have a little faith. Not lot. All the faith/trust that you need is just as small as a what? As small as a mustard seed (or if you read The Message translation of the Bible, a pine nut)….
So how is your prayer life these days? Is it even alive?
I was told recently in a counseling session that a lady doesn’t pray to God anymore because she never sees results. Ok. This is a start, right?
I asked, how do you know you haven’t seen results? Give me an example.
The example given was that this person asked God to get her through a difficult time in her life and she didn’t see God working through that.
I asked if there was resolution in that difficult time.
The reply – yes.
So I gently reminded that person that her prayer was actually answered! God did exactly what she asked, and got her through that difficult time. I mean, she was sitting in front of me for Pete’s sake! She got through it!
So my conclusion is this.
One. Pray, and then actively search for God’s response.
Don’t just pray, asking God for help, and leave it at that. Actively search for His answer. The girl that I mentioned above felt left out by God because she didn’t think God answered her prayer. But, I think, she wasn’t looking for it. God did answer her prayer and get her through that tough situation. She just didn’t notice.
Two. Intentionally pray.
Don’t just ask God to “get you through” something. Ask for specific help. Specific direction. Specific goals. Ask God to help find resolve to this situation before you develop a more serious issue. Find resolve before your finances go astray. Ask God to change your heart toward your reaction of a situation finding the positive not the negative. Intentionally ask for what you desire. Don’t just skim the surface of your need. Really tell God what is bothering you and how you think He can fix it. He wants that type of relationship with you. So go ahead! Be an intentional pray-er. You won’t be sorry!
Puppies for Lent
When the Lent season began I found myself without anything to give up for the forty days of the season, nor with anything to add.
I was praying on this topic a few days later and then was browsing Facebook. I went to the local animal shelter page and saw that a mama dog came in as a stray and needed a foster home for the remainder of her pregnancy and for the first 8 weeks of her puppies’ lives.
I asked my husband. Then immediately applied to be the foster.
What a great opportunity to serve my community!
But let me back up here and say that when I was younger, I was struggling with my priorities of service. You know, this verses that. And I thought that I should not spend my time of service with animals, animal shelters, animal rescues, etc. because I wanted to serve people, “people first” was my motto. But then after a few years and after serving “people first”, my heart changed. Maybe for the worse. But my heart did change and therefore my motto changed. And I came to the conclusion that lots of people shared my motto of service, and not so many people shared a motto for service to animals. I mean, God put Adam and Eve in charge of the animals for goodness sake! So I need to have a heart for serving animals too. And that’s where this all began. And to be honest, in thinking about my “people first” motto, the reason domestic animals go stray and hungry and in danger is because the people put in charge of their care, didn’t do such a great job, whether on purpose or not. But still, people are the number one reason for animal suffering.
Okay, back on point.
So a few days later after submitting the foster application, I get a call from the shelter that the mama dog had given birth over the holiday weekend and so they are looking for immediate placement of the mama dog and her five precious pups. Oh, and could I come right now and get them?
I was elated! I was so excited! And I decided that even though I was a little late on “adding” something for the Lenten season, getting started late was better than not starting at all. Right?
My Lenten sacrifice has been caring for these six creatures of God.
And I was telling this to some people around church and they said that taking care of cute puppies is not a “sacrifice”. Well. They are right. But, it has not been easy. My husband and I have to use a lot of teamwork to remain on our daily schedule and still have time to take care of the pups and their mom. We are caring for God’s creatures, ones that would most likely have not survived on their own in the wild due to the hungry wildlife around, and the very cold temperatures we have been experiencing. We have been contributing our income to this service in seeing that the mama dog is properly fed and the puppies are safe and warm. We have to be consistent in our service because the whelping box needs constant cleaning to be maintained. And being that the mama dog is a stray, she has some emotional issues that need tending to as well.
All of this “work” adds to the Lenten sacrificial experience. (And you cannot sit there and tell me that people who give up soda for lent are really sacrificing either!)
Every time I go to be with the pups, or clean out the box, or have less time in my day for “me” things since I was tending to the pups, I think of Jesus.
Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice when he died a sinner’s death on the cross for me. And for you. Yes, cleaning dog poop and walking a stray dog is in no way a comparison to Jesus’ sacrifice. But doing those things, deepens my gratitude toward my God and for His ultimate sacrifice that He made for me.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Lent Begins!
Well here we are again, beginning a new season of Lent.
My brother told me the other day that he is giving up alcohol for lent. I asked him if he had ever given anything up before for lent, and he said last year he tried, but Easter was just too long after Ash Wednesday, so he didn't make it.
He always makes me laugh, but this one made me REALLY laugh.
Lent is 40 days. Always. Every year. Even if Easter is pushed later in the month than normal, guess what, Ash Wednesday begins later in the month as well.
So I guess time will just tell on how he will do with his giving up alcohol thing.
But, do you really need to give something up for lent?
Well, for Catholics, I think the answer is yes. But for other Christians? I think the answer is. Depends.
The reason behind giving something up for lent is to experience a temptation and not giving into it like what Jesus had to do for 40 in desert and when he was being tempted by the devil. This experience should make you feel closer to God because when you give something up, and you want to do whatever it is you gave it, you are told to fill that need with prayer, not with whatever it is you gave up.
One year when I was a kid I gave up birthday cake. I thought I was being pretty smart because I didn't think I would go to many birthday parties between March and April. God had a good laugh that year. Because I think I went to 7 birthdays between that time period. And I had to say no to all 7 of those birthday cakes.
This Saturday I am hosting a Lent 101 course at the church helping people to understand the lenten season better and hopefully get more out of it this year.
And this year, I am encouraging people to add something instead of giving something up. Add reading a daily devotion. Add prayer time. Add a service project. Add more Jesus into your daily life.
My brother told me the other day that he is giving up alcohol for lent. I asked him if he had ever given anything up before for lent, and he said last year he tried, but Easter was just too long after Ash Wednesday, so he didn't make it.
He always makes me laugh, but this one made me REALLY laugh.
Lent is 40 days. Always. Every year. Even if Easter is pushed later in the month than normal, guess what, Ash Wednesday begins later in the month as well.
So I guess time will just tell on how he will do with his giving up alcohol thing.
But, do you really need to give something up for lent?
Well, for Catholics, I think the answer is yes. But for other Christians? I think the answer is. Depends.
The reason behind giving something up for lent is to experience a temptation and not giving into it like what Jesus had to do for 40 in desert and when he was being tempted by the devil. This experience should make you feel closer to God because when you give something up, and you want to do whatever it is you gave it, you are told to fill that need with prayer, not with whatever it is you gave up.
One year when I was a kid I gave up birthday cake. I thought I was being pretty smart because I didn't think I would go to many birthday parties between March and April. God had a good laugh that year. Because I think I went to 7 birthdays between that time period. And I had to say no to all 7 of those birthday cakes.
This Saturday I am hosting a Lent 101 course at the church helping people to understand the lenten season better and hopefully get more out of it this year.
And this year, I am encouraging people to add something instead of giving something up. Add reading a daily devotion. Add prayer time. Add a service project. Add more Jesus into your daily life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)