There is a person I know. An acquiescence, I guess you can say. Not a friend. Not an enemy. But, I do know her. I speak to her weekly. I read her Facebook posts. I reply to her emails.
And she totally gets under my skin.
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying I despise her. But sometimes I think I am close to saying that!
She doesn't work, is a stay-at-home mom. Has lots of opinions. Many that I do not share. Is unforgiving. Rude to a point. Acts like her poop don't stink. And the list goes on.
I usually like to think that I am an understanding person. I understand that I may not like you 100%, and in return you may not like me 100%. I understand that we may share differing views. I understand that you go about things differently than I would. Fine. We are all God's children, equally loved by Him, so let's move on.
But why can't I shake this person and chalk her up like all the others and place her in my understanding person viewpoint and move on?
I mean sometimes, I catch myself doing the dishes and a thought pops into my head about how I really do not like her.
Isn't that terrible?
At first, I thought this might be because I was jealous of her. I mean, sure, she doesn't have to work. She gets to play with crafts and kids all day. She gets to cook and bake all day. She seems to do fun things and buy fun things. I want that!
And so, I prayed about being jealous about her and for God to change my heart.
To my surprise, that wasn't my issue with her. And thankfully prayer is there to help me figure that out!
But now I am back to the drawing board. I still can't figure out what the real issue is. And I really want to, so I can move on and stop this bad thinking of her. I mean, really, I do not like thinking about people this way. Everyone has good in them. I know it. But, why can't I find a good in her? She just seems so, so, very, fake.
I saw a quote the other day that read, "People that have the most opinions of you, are the one's that barely know you."
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just know the top layer of her and not really her?
Maybe I am such a loud mouth, that I haven't given her a piece of my mind, and am upset that I can't tell her "like it is"? I mean, that is not right either...
But, I will continue to work on this. And regain my doing the dishes in peace.
