Have you ever heard someone say that "family is number one to me?"
I often laugh at this, because people's ideas of "family" are so all over the place these days. Are they talking about their wife and kids? Their parents and siblings? Their grandparents? In-laws? Friends? Neighbors? Pets?
I like to think that my family is very important to me, too.
And, to answer your question, I consider my "family" as my husband, brother, parents, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, cousins, and beyond.
That's a lot of people to keep track of!
Last weekend I took my sister-in-law to my parents house out-of-state, and during the visit we did our normal visit things, like family dinner with my parents and grandparents, and games after dinner. When we got back home from our trip, my sister-in-law made a comment to my husband on how much she "loves my family." That really touched my heart, because she was referring to my family, as hers. She went on to say how inviting my parents and grandparents are to her and how she loved having family dinners together and playing "chicken foot" after dinner and having fun together. She even said, "That's how a family should be."
She and my husband did not grow up like I did, and hearing her say that, and knowing that I grew up like that and she and my husband didn't made me appreciate my "family" even more.
But, "family" would not be possible to me without my parents. They are the ones who brought me into this crazy family to begin with.
I am one of the lucky ones who actually really truly loves her parents. I always have. I may not have always liked them from time to time, but I have always truly loved them.
I really miss having my parents live in the same town as me. And I have found it hard since they moved to keep feeling close to them via email and text and occasional visits.
This is just a wrap around way of saying that I really love you, mom and dad.
I know I have put you through lots of troubles and I have caused a lot of hurt growing up, but I didn't mean it. You two loving me the way you do is something I will always cherish and try my best to show to my future children.
Others may think they have the title, but mom and dad, you really are the world's best parents!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
He loves me, He loves me not
I am often in awe over how much I love Christ Jesus. He is the reason why I am married. He is the reason why I serve him in his church. He is the reason I wake up each day.
And how lucky I am that he loves me even more.
The past seven weeks my boss and I have been teaching 12 pre-teens about the church and God and the Bible through a United Methodist confirmation class. After the seven weeks, the youth will be confirmed into the church and also become members.
Teaching pre-teens, which I usually don't do, because I teach teenagers and beyond, is a real test of faith for me.
Pre-teens are just a little too young for my teaching style. They are up and out of their seats. They don't listen. They whine. They are always hungry and thirsty. And they always say, "this is boring."
I just want to shake them because to me, this isn't boring! Learning about your faith is the most important thing that you can devote your time too.
But, teaching this confirmation class has reminded me of a lot. It reminds me that God wants us to have childlike faith (Mark 10:13). And you can't get more in practice with that scripture than by teaching faith in a child(like) setting.
I guess religion and doctrine and old time scrolls are not too childlike anyway.
Jesus' love is the most authentic, the most childlike understanding of our faith. Nothing is more simple than love. Children, babies in fact, understand the concept of love. Whereas they don't necessarily understand the concept of religious prophecy and ancient texts.
We need to let love shine. And we need to keep that love authentic and sincere (Romans 12:9). No matter the age.
And how lucky I am that he loves me even more.
The past seven weeks my boss and I have been teaching 12 pre-teens about the church and God and the Bible through a United Methodist confirmation class. After the seven weeks, the youth will be confirmed into the church and also become members.
Teaching pre-teens, which I usually don't do, because I teach teenagers and beyond, is a real test of faith for me.
Pre-teens are just a little too young for my teaching style. They are up and out of their seats. They don't listen. They whine. They are always hungry and thirsty. And they always say, "this is boring."
I just want to shake them because to me, this isn't boring! Learning about your faith is the most important thing that you can devote your time too.
But, teaching this confirmation class has reminded me of a lot. It reminds me that God wants us to have childlike faith (Mark 10:13). And you can't get more in practice with that scripture than by teaching faith in a child(like) setting.
I guess religion and doctrine and old time scrolls are not too childlike anyway.
Jesus' love is the most authentic, the most childlike understanding of our faith. Nothing is more simple than love. Children, babies in fact, understand the concept of love. Whereas they don't necessarily understand the concept of religious prophecy and ancient texts.
We need to let love shine. And we need to keep that love authentic and sincere (Romans 12:9). No matter the age.
New mission bring new troubles
Over the past year I have been involved in starting a new mission at my church that feeds the hungry for free in our community once-a-week.
This mission is finally underway and tomorrow will be the fourth time we have offered a free meal.
I think the mission is already proving fruitful as we have seen numbers over 50 coming and eating and fellowshipping together.
One thing I have learned over the years of being on staff at a church is that people are strange. People act in all different ways. The church is more about relationships sometimes, than God. And that makes me sad.
What I believe the purpose of this new mission is, is to bring food to the hungry, and open our church doors to people who otherwise would not step foot in a church.
The very first night that we were opened for business, we had 11 guests. Not the number we were expecting, much lower actually, but still, we had 11. And from that 11 came some very inspirational stories. One mom who has two very small children, was walking by our church on her way to the market which is four blocks down from us, and she came in. We learned that she only has $40 to spend on food every other week, and with no car, she and her children walk to the market every other week with that $40 to purchase food. She and her children have come back to the dinners each Friday there after.
This mother and her story is what I think of when I think of this mission. People who are needing comfort and shelter and nourishment.
But today my eyes were opened to that what I believe to be in the forefront is not, and instead people are getting in the way of this mission's success. Leaders are back stabbing each other.
It's not about egos. Or who is the "main" leader. Or who should take the credit for the success of this new mission.
It's about God.
God made this mission possible. God made our lives possible. And it was our choice to follow Jesus, nameless in the eyes of our neighbors, because we wish to put Jesus' name above our own.
This mission is finally underway and tomorrow will be the fourth time we have offered a free meal.
I think the mission is already proving fruitful as we have seen numbers over 50 coming and eating and fellowshipping together.
One thing I have learned over the years of being on staff at a church is that people are strange. People act in all different ways. The church is more about relationships sometimes, than God. And that makes me sad.
What I believe the purpose of this new mission is, is to bring food to the hungry, and open our church doors to people who otherwise would not step foot in a church.
The very first night that we were opened for business, we had 11 guests. Not the number we were expecting, much lower actually, but still, we had 11. And from that 11 came some very inspirational stories. One mom who has two very small children, was walking by our church on her way to the market which is four blocks down from us, and she came in. We learned that she only has $40 to spend on food every other week, and with no car, she and her children walk to the market every other week with that $40 to purchase food. She and her children have come back to the dinners each Friday there after.
This mother and her story is what I think of when I think of this mission. People who are needing comfort and shelter and nourishment.
But today my eyes were opened to that what I believe to be in the forefront is not, and instead people are getting in the way of this mission's success. Leaders are back stabbing each other.
It's not about egos. Or who is the "main" leader. Or who should take the credit for the success of this new mission.
It's about God.
God made this mission possible. God made our lives possible. And it was our choice to follow Jesus, nameless in the eyes of our neighbors, because we wish to put Jesus' name above our own.
Times Flies
Wow, poor little blog, been neglected for almost three months!
It's amazing how time flies when you are having fun, or not having fun. Haha
You know, I wanted to get a certificate last year for a side job I was considering and I wanted to get it done in three months. Well, I looked today at the last time I logged into the system for that, and it was November 1, 2010. Almost a year ago! How sad is that? I have been looking at the material in my hall closet for almost a year, and have not touched it.
It is crazy to me how the days go by so slow, but the years go by so fast.
When I was younger I never understood how I would ever love being in heaven for "eternity." That's too long.
But, now I can see that eternity is just not long enough.
It's amazing how time flies when you are having fun, or not having fun. Haha
You know, I wanted to get a certificate last year for a side job I was considering and I wanted to get it done in three months. Well, I looked today at the last time I logged into the system for that, and it was November 1, 2010. Almost a year ago! How sad is that? I have been looking at the material in my hall closet for almost a year, and have not touched it.
It is crazy to me how the days go by so slow, but the years go by so fast.
When I was younger I never understood how I would ever love being in heaven for "eternity." That's too long.
But, now I can see that eternity is just not long enough.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
It's so hot and muggy my glasses fogged up
Well my dear friends it has been well over a month since my last post.
I know that you probably have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for this new post - so I won't delay it any longer...
First and foremost my husband HAS A JOB! Thank you Lord Jesus! Almost six months of being unemployed and he finally found a job, and one that is right here in our hometown. Whew! And the icing on this cake is that this job is actually a pay raise from the last, AND he is guaranteed at least 10 hours of overtime each week, which will just bring in even more cash. (Which we really need, seeing that we were living on only 1 paycheck for so long...)
I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July holiday. We were able to sneak away from this awful desert heat for a week and retreated to a not so hot location up north. The mini-vacation was wonderful, but now we are back in the hot, hot, hot sun and back to work (not complaining on that front though!). Actually the Fourth of July marked my husband's and my second wedding anniversary. Praise God! We made it to two!
Also exciting news is that my husband was granted his US citizenship and his swearing in ceremony will be July 18th. How very cool! He will be the very first person in his entire family to become a US citizen.
Stay cool everyone!
I know that you probably have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for this new post - so I won't delay it any longer...
First and foremost my husband HAS A JOB! Thank you Lord Jesus! Almost six months of being unemployed and he finally found a job, and one that is right here in our hometown. Whew! And the icing on this cake is that this job is actually a pay raise from the last, AND he is guaranteed at least 10 hours of overtime each week, which will just bring in even more cash. (Which we really need, seeing that we were living on only 1 paycheck for so long...)
I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July holiday. We were able to sneak away from this awful desert heat for a week and retreated to a not so hot location up north. The mini-vacation was wonderful, but now we are back in the hot, hot, hot sun and back to work (not complaining on that front though!). Actually the Fourth of July marked my husband's and my second wedding anniversary. Praise God! We made it to two!
Also exciting news is that my husband was granted his US citizenship and his swearing in ceremony will be July 18th. How very cool! He will be the very first person in his entire family to become a US citizen.
Stay cool everyone!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Profile Pictures
How do you decide what picture to place on your media accounts? Are they all the same photo - or maybe you have different photos for different media networks (like one for Facebook and one for your blog).
When I was hiring employees a few years ago, I would go and check out their media accounts. And, sure, some had on their security settings to not allow me, an outsider, access into their full profile, but I still could see the main profile picture.
Result? Well, regrettably, most profile photos were not job applicant appropriate.
These photos were taken at really fun times - complete with the drunken smiles, the lip locking of the applicant with who knows who, and the classic, smooshed rock star face with a admirable middle finger showing.
Thankfully I am no longer in the hiring business, but I still look at people's profile pictures.
The most recent was when I decided to look up a new family into our church on Facebook.
That was a mistake.
All of the classic "applicant" poses that I mentioned above were present on both of these sweet good Christian profiles.
Good friends, your media accounts, whether you think so or not, reflect you as an individual, at this current stage of your life.
Sure, you may have taken those drunken one night stand pictures five years ago, but they are still active memories on your account. And furthermore, you may know that those were taken five years ago during the "good old days" but when I look at them, I assume those were taken last weekend.
WWJT?
Not, WWJD (what would Jesus do) but instead, what would Jesus think?
What would Jesus think if he looked at your media accounts right now?
Is all the information present, all things that you are willing to take to the grave and explain at the pearly gates?
Could you imagine that? You get up to Saint Peter and after you sign in and do the intake interview, pages of your online media accounts are laid before you to explain to the panel.
Ha.
How you reflect your character online is a statement of your actual character. Like or not.
So, please, for all of us, go and look at your media accounts, specifically your photos and ask yourself, WWJT?
When I was hiring employees a few years ago, I would go and check out their media accounts. And, sure, some had on their security settings to not allow me, an outsider, access into their full profile, but I still could see the main profile picture.
Result? Well, regrettably, most profile photos were not job applicant appropriate.
These photos were taken at really fun times - complete with the drunken smiles, the lip locking of the applicant with who knows who, and the classic, smooshed rock star face with a admirable middle finger showing.
Thankfully I am no longer in the hiring business, but I still look at people's profile pictures.
The most recent was when I decided to look up a new family into our church on Facebook.
That was a mistake.
All of the classic "applicant" poses that I mentioned above were present on both of these sweet good Christian profiles.
Good friends, your media accounts, whether you think so or not, reflect you as an individual, at this current stage of your life.
Sure, you may have taken those drunken one night stand pictures five years ago, but they are still active memories on your account. And furthermore, you may know that those were taken five years ago during the "good old days" but when I look at them, I assume those were taken last weekend.
WWJT?
Not, WWJD (what would Jesus do) but instead, what would Jesus think?
What would Jesus think if he looked at your media accounts right now?
Is all the information present, all things that you are willing to take to the grave and explain at the pearly gates?
Could you imagine that? You get up to Saint Peter and after you sign in and do the intake interview, pages of your online media accounts are laid before you to explain to the panel.
Ha.
How you reflect your character online is a statement of your actual character. Like or not.
So, please, for all of us, go and look at your media accounts, specifically your photos and ask yourself, WWJT?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Whoa - That is a Big Word
When I was a child, I did not look forward to spelling tests. I struggled with spelling, all of my other friends were so good at spelling, and I felt left in the dust.
So, when I reached 6th grade, I was excited to learn that I would never, ever, have to take another spelling test in my educational career.
Nope. Not a one.
What I didn't know, was that instead of spelling tests, the new test was vocabulary.
And not only did you have to spell the word correctly, you had to know what it meant!
Whew! Overload!
I spent the remainder of my primary education learning really big words. Big words that meant exactly the same as smaller, more common words, but these bigger words were suppose to make me sounds more impressive, smarter, like I knew what I was talking about.
Move forward to college, and in the College of Education - big, beautiful words were frowned upon.
Why?
Because as a teacher you are to instruct your students and also efficiently communicate with their parents, which more than likely are at the same reading levels as their children.
I remember one horror story that said that a teacher was written up and almost terminated for using a "big" word to a caregiver.
The word you ask?
Adamant.
To use it in the sentence used by the teacher, "I am sorry, you are not authorized to pick up this child from school, his mother was adamant."
Result?
The caregiver reported the teacher for cussing at her. Teacher called wolf. However, it was their own words against each others, and ultimately the teacher was punished.
Lesson?
Big words don't make you sound smarter, or more qualified to speak on a certain topic.
And in some cases, it may get you canned.
A large vocabulary is admirable. Good for you!
But it should be used carefully.
Often times than none when large vocabulary is used, it is used to make the opponent sound inferior, or less qualified to make their statements of belief.
That's just not cool.
If you are so smart and can prove your point against another, then you do not even need to pull out the big guns in your speech. Large vocabulary words shouldn't even be needed.
The key to communication is to communicate. (Duh!)
And sometimes when you use large vocabulary words in your speech, you are accomplishing the opposite.
So, when I reached 6th grade, I was excited to learn that I would never, ever, have to take another spelling test in my educational career.
Nope. Not a one.
What I didn't know, was that instead of spelling tests, the new test was vocabulary.
And not only did you have to spell the word correctly, you had to know what it meant!
Whew! Overload!
I spent the remainder of my primary education learning really big words. Big words that meant exactly the same as smaller, more common words, but these bigger words were suppose to make me sounds more impressive, smarter, like I knew what I was talking about.
Move forward to college, and in the College of Education - big, beautiful words were frowned upon.
Why?
Because as a teacher you are to instruct your students and also efficiently communicate with their parents, which more than likely are at the same reading levels as their children.
I remember one horror story that said that a teacher was written up and almost terminated for using a "big" word to a caregiver.
The word you ask?
Adamant.
To use it in the sentence used by the teacher, "I am sorry, you are not authorized to pick up this child from school, his mother was adamant."
Result?
The caregiver reported the teacher for cussing at her. Teacher called wolf. However, it was their own words against each others, and ultimately the teacher was punished.
Lesson?
Big words don't make you sound smarter, or more qualified to speak on a certain topic.
And in some cases, it may get you canned.
A large vocabulary is admirable. Good for you!
But it should be used carefully.
Often times than none when large vocabulary is used, it is used to make the opponent sound inferior, or less qualified to make their statements of belief.
That's just not cool.
If you are so smart and can prove your point against another, then you do not even need to pull out the big guns in your speech. Large vocabulary words shouldn't even be needed.
The key to communication is to communicate. (Duh!)
And sometimes when you use large vocabulary words in your speech, you are accomplishing the opposite.
Feedback
It always amazes me how many people actually read this blog.
It truly is amazing!
I mean, this whole idea of starting up a blog was to journal about my life, about the things in my life, about ideas and things that I think about.
An internal dialog if you will, that is posted for the whole world to see - but not necessarily for them to read.
I don't publish my new posts on my media accounts letting my friends know there is yet another brilliant read waiting for them (like many of my friends...God bless them), because I don't write these blogs for them to read, or for them to know where I stand on these things, I write these blogs, for me.
But there are times when I am reminded that I am not "alone."
LOL - funny when I put it like that...
Anyway,
The last post regarding some of my thoughts on tithing must have hit a cord with lots of you. And I knew going in, that some of you would like to combat what I stated.
I mean, what is a more touchy subject than to really address what the Bible says about giving? Giving of your own hard earned money, might I add.
So here I was, first thing this morning after a nice weekend, and BAM! I have lots of emails to read through regarding the post, and one even commented directly to the post.
God bless you all.
Thank you for taking the time to exercise your freedom of sharing and letting me read through your thoughts regarding the topic.
I appreciate each of you who emailed.
And even though I will keep with the purpose of this blog to only express my own dialog, if you feel so inclined, please, blog about your thoughts regarding the last post on your own blogs.
I look forward to reading them.
It truly is amazing!
I mean, this whole idea of starting up a blog was to journal about my life, about the things in my life, about ideas and things that I think about.
An internal dialog if you will, that is posted for the whole world to see - but not necessarily for them to read.
I don't publish my new posts on my media accounts letting my friends know there is yet another brilliant read waiting for them (like many of my friends...God bless them), because I don't write these blogs for them to read, or for them to know where I stand on these things, I write these blogs, for me.
But there are times when I am reminded that I am not "alone."
LOL - funny when I put it like that...
Anyway,
The last post regarding some of my thoughts on tithing must have hit a cord with lots of you. And I knew going in, that some of you would like to combat what I stated.
I mean, what is a more touchy subject than to really address what the Bible says about giving? Giving of your own hard earned money, might I add.
So here I was, first thing this morning after a nice weekend, and BAM! I have lots of emails to read through regarding the post, and one even commented directly to the post.
God bless you all.
Thank you for taking the time to exercise your freedom of sharing and letting me read through your thoughts regarding the topic.
I appreciate each of you who emailed.
And even though I will keep with the purpose of this blog to only express my own dialog, if you feel so inclined, please, blog about your thoughts regarding the last post on your own blogs.
I look forward to reading them.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Number 10 and What It Means to the Church
Why is it that people are so put off when someone tells you how you should spend your money? Especially in regards to charity, missional giving, or giving to a church.
I mean, yes, sure, there is a tax benefit for those who give to charities throughout the year. And the Lord only knows that I would rather gift my monies to the animal shelter than straight to Uncle Sam's pockets.
But in relation to the church - Christians can be told what to wear, how to act, what to say, but again, there seems to be this resistance in some, when they are told how to spend.
Ever heard the rule about giving 10 percent of your income to the church?
Well, sure you have, everyone has. This is called tithing. You are to tithe 10% of your income.
And maybe that is what puts some people off to belonging to a church...the knowing that the membership fee into this "club" is 10% of your income each year. Ouch!
(And here I was thinking the $100 yearly Daughter of the American Revolution membership fees were high...)
Actually, the official ruling in the Bible to give 10% off of the TOP of your entire income comes from Deuteronomy 14:22-23. Yes, you read my all caps right, you are to take that 10% from the very top. You are not to take that 10% out of "what is left" after all of your bills are paid. (And here you thought it couldn't get any worse!)
Now I am a New Testament kind of believer. Once Jesus hit the scene, the history of the church from that point backward, is important, but not as important of what came from Jesus' ministry and beyond.
And interesting enough, Jesus never mentions this 10% rule during his lifetime. Jesus does mention in Luke 6:38 to give and it will be given to you. Guessing this "giving" means money. And also the famous, it is more blessed to give than to receive, is a line from Jesus. But nowadays people just see that scripture in relation to bad Christmas gifts.
Ha.
Anyway, furthermore - my man Paul, the Apostle Paul, speaks further about giving in his letter to Corinth -
1 Corinthians 16:2
On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.
Now, as you can see, Paul doesn't mention a certain amount of your money that you need to give, he just says that it needs to be in keeping with your income. However, he does say that it needs to be given on the first day of the week, before you have had a chance to pay your bills. Similar to the old school thought of the 10% comes from the very top of your funds before bills.
Interesting.
Now if you have read the Bible, or even some parts of it, you may have noticed that numbers play an important role in the stories. The number 3 and 7 are "good" numbers that relate to God, royalty, luck. (Where do you think "777" came from? It uses the #7 - 3 times). In fact, the #7 is mentioned 700 times in the Bible. Another coincidence??
The number coding game is not just a Biblical thing. Other groups use numbers for coded meanings or specific tones, too. The masons for example, use number coding.
So, knowing that numbers play a significant role in the reading of the Bible - 10(%) is a number, so what does the number 10 mean in the Bible?
Well, after much research, 10 is a powerful number used throughout the Bible.
The first one that you may think of right off the bat is the Ten Commandments. The rule for life directly from God's mouth into Moses' hands because the people of the land were not living up to God's expectations, and therefore he implemented laws.
Then we see that Noah was survived from the great floods during the tenth generation - great for Noah, but bad for all the others who weren't allowed on the boat. There were ten plagues in Exodus. The ten rebellions in Numbers. And fire came down from heaven ten times throughout the Bible.
So now the question really is, is the scripture concerning a 10 percent tithing a true mathematical calculation for giving, or is it simply a figure of speech, a number code if you will in relation to human failure and the attempt to make things right with God?
I know what I think it is.
But, I will let you decide what you believe on your own....
I mean, yes, sure, there is a tax benefit for those who give to charities throughout the year. And the Lord only knows that I would rather gift my monies to the animal shelter than straight to Uncle Sam's pockets.
But in relation to the church - Christians can be told what to wear, how to act, what to say, but again, there seems to be this resistance in some, when they are told how to spend.
Ever heard the rule about giving 10 percent of your income to the church?
Well, sure you have, everyone has. This is called tithing. You are to tithe 10% of your income.
And maybe that is what puts some people off to belonging to a church...the knowing that the membership fee into this "club" is 10% of your income each year. Ouch!
(And here I was thinking the $100 yearly Daughter of the American Revolution membership fees were high...)
Actually, the official ruling in the Bible to give 10% off of the TOP of your entire income comes from Deuteronomy 14:22-23. Yes, you read my all caps right, you are to take that 10% from the very top. You are not to take that 10% out of "what is left" after all of your bills are paid. (And here you thought it couldn't get any worse!)
Now I am a New Testament kind of believer. Once Jesus hit the scene, the history of the church from that point backward, is important, but not as important of what came from Jesus' ministry and beyond.
And interesting enough, Jesus never mentions this 10% rule during his lifetime. Jesus does mention in Luke 6:38 to give and it will be given to you. Guessing this "giving" means money. And also the famous, it is more blessed to give than to receive, is a line from Jesus. But nowadays people just see that scripture in relation to bad Christmas gifts.
Ha.
Anyway, furthermore - my man Paul, the Apostle Paul, speaks further about giving in his letter to Corinth -
1 Corinthians 16:2
On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.
Now, as you can see, Paul doesn't mention a certain amount of your money that you need to give, he just says that it needs to be in keeping with your income. However, he does say that it needs to be given on the first day of the week, before you have had a chance to pay your bills. Similar to the old school thought of the 10% comes from the very top of your funds before bills.
Interesting.
Now if you have read the Bible, or even some parts of it, you may have noticed that numbers play an important role in the stories. The number 3 and 7 are "good" numbers that relate to God, royalty, luck. (Where do you think "777" came from? It uses the #7 - 3 times). In fact, the #7 is mentioned 700 times in the Bible. Another coincidence??
The number coding game is not just a Biblical thing. Other groups use numbers for coded meanings or specific tones, too. The masons for example, use number coding.
So, knowing that numbers play a significant role in the reading of the Bible - 10(%) is a number, so what does the number 10 mean in the Bible?
Well, after much research, 10 is a powerful number used throughout the Bible.
The first one that you may think of right off the bat is the Ten Commandments. The rule for life directly from God's mouth into Moses' hands because the people of the land were not living up to God's expectations, and therefore he implemented laws.
Then we see that Noah was survived from the great floods during the tenth generation - great for Noah, but bad for all the others who weren't allowed on the boat. There were ten plagues in Exodus. The ten rebellions in Numbers. And fire came down from heaven ten times throughout the Bible.
So now the question really is, is the scripture concerning a 10 percent tithing a true mathematical calculation for giving, or is it simply a figure of speech, a number code if you will in relation to human failure and the attempt to make things right with God?
I know what I think it is.
But, I will let you decide what you believe on your own....
Monday, May 16, 2011
A Word From Our Sponsors
In the ongoing effort to show support for my cousin and her husband fighting over in Iraq, I stumbled across a great pro-troop support company called buildasign.com.
I encourage EVERYONE who supports the troops like I do, go check out this site.
They offer free vinyl banners welcoming our troops home (along with other stuff). The one I ordered was 3 feet by 6 feet.
Did you read the part about FREE?!
I shopped around and no other company was offering this great of a promotion with such high quality materials.
Usually banners like this cost over $50.
I got to personalize it to how I wanted it to read and even got to include my own color photo!
I paid a little extra for some hanging materials (my cousin is not blond but she acts it, so all the help we can give...haha) and also paid a little extra to get the banner to her sooner rather than later.
But, still, not a bad price at all! Even with all the extras I included.
I really hope that my cousin loves the banner when it gets to her in a few weeks and hopefully she can use it over and over again when welcoming her honey home.
Thank you buildasign.com for supporting our soldiers!
I encourage EVERYONE who supports the troops like I do, go check out this site.
They offer free vinyl banners welcoming our troops home (along with other stuff). The one I ordered was 3 feet by 6 feet.
Did you read the part about FREE?!
I shopped around and no other company was offering this great of a promotion with such high quality materials.
Usually banners like this cost over $50.
I got to personalize it to how I wanted it to read and even got to include my own color photo!
I paid a little extra for some hanging materials (my cousin is not blond but she acts it, so all the help we can give...haha) and also paid a little extra to get the banner to her sooner rather than later.
But, still, not a bad price at all! Even with all the extras I included.
I really hope that my cousin loves the banner when it gets to her in a few weeks and hopefully she can use it over and over again when welcoming her honey home.
Thank you buildasign.com for supporting our soldiers!
Praise God
Mondays are always hard days to get going and off to work.
And this is now getting into two and a half months of my husband being unemployed. After applying for over 67 jobs, in three different cities, he still doesn't have a new job. And it has been weeks since he was asked for a follow up interview.
It amazes me how applying for jobs has changed over the years. 100% of my husband's applications have been online. And probably 80% of those, you have no way to follow up with someone at HR regarding your application.
The only way you know that your application has gone through is because you get those "DO NOT REPLY" emails, thanking him for his application and if his qualifications are high, they will contact him for further information.
What crap, huh?
I would even go so far to say that most of those "jobs" that he has been applying for, aren't even real jobs. And what I mean by that, is HR probably isn't really looking for someone to fill that position listed.
It can't be.
My husband was more than qualified for all of the jobs that he applied for, and almost got no calls back.
That's just impossible.
I think that it is some kind of conspiracy acting as if these companies (all big names, too) are really trying to engage the economic situation by hiring employees - but aren't really...
Anyway, back to this morning,
Last week we applied for six new jobs. Five in another state. And one here in our own town.
I was firing up the internet to check his email for any news on these new six applications, and without thinking, without even knowing I was really doing it actually, I said aloud,
"Please God, let there be something."
I logged into his email, and through the mess of DO NOT REPLYs, I saw an email for a request for a follow-up interview.
And, wouldn't you know it, it was for the one job in our town.
Oh, how amazing. Praise be God!
There really was something!
And, yes, I know that this is just a follow up interview, not an actual job proposal, yet.
But at this point, I will take anything. It has been weeks.
Thank you God for letting there be something, just one thing, for us to hold onto hope for.
You came through for us, yet again.
And this is now getting into two and a half months of my husband being unemployed. After applying for over 67 jobs, in three different cities, he still doesn't have a new job. And it has been weeks since he was asked for a follow up interview.
It amazes me how applying for jobs has changed over the years. 100% of my husband's applications have been online. And probably 80% of those, you have no way to follow up with someone at HR regarding your application.
The only way you know that your application has gone through is because you get those "DO NOT REPLY" emails, thanking him for his application and if his qualifications are high, they will contact him for further information.
What crap, huh?
I would even go so far to say that most of those "jobs" that he has been applying for, aren't even real jobs. And what I mean by that, is HR probably isn't really looking for someone to fill that position listed.
It can't be.
My husband was more than qualified for all of the jobs that he applied for, and almost got no calls back.
That's just impossible.
I think that it is some kind of conspiracy acting as if these companies (all big names, too) are really trying to engage the economic situation by hiring employees - but aren't really...
Anyway, back to this morning,
Last week we applied for six new jobs. Five in another state. And one here in our own town.
I was firing up the internet to check his email for any news on these new six applications, and without thinking, without even knowing I was really doing it actually, I said aloud,
"Please God, let there be something."
I logged into his email, and through the mess of DO NOT REPLYs, I saw an email for a request for a follow-up interview.
And, wouldn't you know it, it was for the one job in our town.
Oh, how amazing. Praise be God!
There really was something!
And, yes, I know that this is just a follow up interview, not an actual job proposal, yet.
But at this point, I will take anything. It has been weeks.
Thank you God for letting there be something, just one thing, for us to hold onto hope for.
You came through for us, yet again.
Unplanned Joy
Well, if you know me, you know that I am not one who likes surprises. Or unexpected outcomes. Or last minute changes to plans that could have been made before hand. Or being rushed.
Maybe that's the reason why I stopped watching those stupid reality dating shows on tv. You can NEVER predict the winners. Believe me, I have tried!
Yesterday was just like any other day. Had to work. Had a blast with all the teenagers at youth groups. (My boss was gone.)
Then my husband gets a call two hours before I am finished with work (he goes with me to youth groups) from his brother saying that he, his wife, his 4-year old daughter, and my mother-in-law where in route to our house.
ETA, half an hour.
Now, this probably wouldn't bug an ordinary person. But I went into freak out mode!
My niece has some pretty bad allergies to food and her parents are germ freaks.
So, here we are - peanut eating, milk drinking people with five pets who all live inside the house not outside - we have a problem.
Needless to say, when we know they are coming, we spend at least two days prepping for their arrival. You know, washing plates that my niece will use, preparing food for her to eat without getting a reaction, leaving our three cats in the sun room outside so we can vacuum their hair off the couches, etc.
And, on top of all of that, I HATE surprises - and I had no time to do a "dry run" cleaning before they arrived because I was at work.
And they had a house key.
So instead of waiting for us somewhere, they were going to wait for us, at our house. The way I left it in a mad dash before work that morning.
Oh, please, good Lord above, let this be the one time I actually put my undies in the hamper....
Needless to say, after my husband got the news, I was pissed.
Not how I wanted to spend my night after working all day. And my house was a disaster. I wasn't expecting company...especially not THIS company!
Well, fast forward two hours and we drive home from church.
We get inside the house and we find my husband's family, all five of them, all crowded in my sister-in-laws bedroom eating chicken.
Why you ask?
Because they felt that that was the cleanest place in my house to eat.
Ya.
My level of pissed-off-ness, went off the charts.
How embarrassing.
I am the hostess with the mostest, and this is not acceptable in my house with company.
So, my husband and I do a quick clean of the kitchen (and really the kitchen is the cleanest room in my house at all times anyway) and we move the crowd to the appropriate room for eating after much tempting.
So, where if this "unplanned joy" you ask?
Well, I am slowly getting there...
But, after I calmed down from this experience, and the shock, and the frustration, and the embarrassment, I actually started having a great time.
I love my niece.
And being able to spend time with her is great.
After dinner we got the dogs out and she started playing with them. And our three-legged dog Trinity, our niece has never met before, so that was really fun to watch them two interact with each other. And boy does our niece LOVE Trinity. (But, I mean, who wouldn't, she is my kid!)
The original plan from my mother-in-law was that they all were going to spend the night at my house before heading back home the next morning. (Which added fuel to my fire - I wasn't ready for overnight guests!!) But thankfully, they decided to head home that night.
What I learned from this experience was
1) Always expect the unexpected in regards to my husband's family, regardless if I like it or not,
2) I should relax when things don't shape up the way I want them too, there's no harm in a little cat hair on the couches, we live like that everyday,
And, 3) Don't let your frustrations hinder you from finding joy in the pissiest of situations. (Few four year olds can do that, might I add!)
Maybe that's the reason why I stopped watching those stupid reality dating shows on tv. You can NEVER predict the winners. Believe me, I have tried!
Yesterday was just like any other day. Had to work. Had a blast with all the teenagers at youth groups. (My boss was gone.)
Then my husband gets a call two hours before I am finished with work (he goes with me to youth groups) from his brother saying that he, his wife, his 4-year old daughter, and my mother-in-law where in route to our house.
ETA, half an hour.
Now, this probably wouldn't bug an ordinary person. But I went into freak out mode!
My niece has some pretty bad allergies to food and her parents are germ freaks.
So, here we are - peanut eating, milk drinking people with five pets who all live inside the house not outside - we have a problem.
Needless to say, when we know they are coming, we spend at least two days prepping for their arrival. You know, washing plates that my niece will use, preparing food for her to eat without getting a reaction, leaving our three cats in the sun room outside so we can vacuum their hair off the couches, etc.
And, on top of all of that, I HATE surprises - and I had no time to do a "dry run" cleaning before they arrived because I was at work.
And they had a house key.
So instead of waiting for us somewhere, they were going to wait for us, at our house. The way I left it in a mad dash before work that morning.
Oh, please, good Lord above, let this be the one time I actually put my undies in the hamper....
Needless to say, after my husband got the news, I was pissed.
Not how I wanted to spend my night after working all day. And my house was a disaster. I wasn't expecting company...especially not THIS company!
Well, fast forward two hours and we drive home from church.
We get inside the house and we find my husband's family, all five of them, all crowded in my sister-in-laws bedroom eating chicken.
Why you ask?
Because they felt that that was the cleanest place in my house to eat.
Ya.
My level of pissed-off-ness, went off the charts.
How embarrassing.
I am the hostess with the mostest, and this is not acceptable in my house with company.
So, my husband and I do a quick clean of the kitchen (and really the kitchen is the cleanest room in my house at all times anyway) and we move the crowd to the appropriate room for eating after much tempting.
So, where if this "unplanned joy" you ask?
Well, I am slowly getting there...
But, after I calmed down from this experience, and the shock, and the frustration, and the embarrassment, I actually started having a great time.
I love my niece.
And being able to spend time with her is great.
After dinner we got the dogs out and she started playing with them. And our three-legged dog Trinity, our niece has never met before, so that was really fun to watch them two interact with each other. And boy does our niece LOVE Trinity. (But, I mean, who wouldn't, she is my kid!)
The original plan from my mother-in-law was that they all were going to spend the night at my house before heading back home the next morning. (Which added fuel to my fire - I wasn't ready for overnight guests!!) But thankfully, they decided to head home that night.
What I learned from this experience was
1) Always expect the unexpected in regards to my husband's family, regardless if I like it or not,
2) I should relax when things don't shape up the way I want them too, there's no harm in a little cat hair on the couches, we live like that everyday,
And, 3) Don't let your frustrations hinder you from finding joy in the pissiest of situations. (Few four year olds can do that, might I add!)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Due Date
First off, no one is pregnant. Well. Someone is, I am sure. But not me!
...
Well, this is day three of being back from a week's vacation.
Ah.
Vacation.
A time to get away from the mess called life and escape from the day-by-day routine for just a little bit. To rejuvenate. Relax.
I wish I could go back.
Being back home has really put some things into perspective.
#1. I procrastinate.
I don't mean to. But I do. I am constantly putting things off. Letting things drift off into space without thinking twice about it. Growing up some of the people I was most close to were good at this too. And when I was little I promised myself that I would never be that way. Turns out, I was wrong.
That sucks.
#2. I am a bad friend.
I posted last time about how I reconnected with my absolute best friend in the whole entire world after three years of not seeing each other. #2 really hits hard because I so love this person, as a best friend of course. Why didn't I realize this sooner? Thankfully, she was just as bad as I was during our "lost" years and we both have committed to getting back to where we were in our friendship.
Work in progress.
#3. When the going gets tough - I shut down.
What a loser, right? I mean. When the going gets tough - that is your time to shine! Not to shut down. Even when things keep piling up on me I need to remember to breath. Then start working at the to do list, little by little. Maybe #1 and #3 work together. I procrastinate too much and then there is just this horrible weight on my shoulders from everything that is not done and BAM! BOOM! I curl up in the fetal position.
Today the daily devotion from James 2:1-13 says that Peter, a disciple friend of Jesus, said that, "I truly understand that God shows no partiality."
Whew!
Thank God for that! Literally.
First, thank God that he shows no partiality for all of us who fall short. (That's me!) That ugly list of three above is shameful. Ugly. A terrible character flaw.
But the wonderful God above doesn't hold those ugly three against me. No one is put before me, better than me, in His eyes. So in the end, I guess I really don't fall short, eh?
And when thinking about this scripture in regards to relationships that I have - I am also comforted. When I am in argument with one of God's children, I need to remember that God sees us both as the same. Both sinners. But both worthy enough of salvation.
God probably doesn't think fondly of me when I am showing judgement against one of His children.
If that one child can ask for God's forgiveness and receive it with no punishment, no worry of repercussion. Then I must try my hardest to do the same.
However, there is a difference between saying that you are sorry, apologizing for the act, and actually asking for forgiveness.
So - saying, "God I am so sorry for the things that I have done."
Is a step in the right direction. But. Means nothing really.
But saying - "God I am so sorry for the things that I have done, and I beg your forgiveness."
Means everything. Don't you think?
It is past due for me to ask for forgiveness and start to making those three things about me above, a thing of the past.
...
Well, this is day three of being back from a week's vacation.
Ah.
Vacation.
A time to get away from the mess called life and escape from the day-by-day routine for just a little bit. To rejuvenate. Relax.
I wish I could go back.
Being back home has really put some things into perspective.
#1. I procrastinate.
I don't mean to. But I do. I am constantly putting things off. Letting things drift off into space without thinking twice about it. Growing up some of the people I was most close to were good at this too. And when I was little I promised myself that I would never be that way. Turns out, I was wrong.
That sucks.
#2. I am a bad friend.
I posted last time about how I reconnected with my absolute best friend in the whole entire world after three years of not seeing each other. #2 really hits hard because I so love this person, as a best friend of course. Why didn't I realize this sooner? Thankfully, she was just as bad as I was during our "lost" years and we both have committed to getting back to where we were in our friendship.
Work in progress.
#3. When the going gets tough - I shut down.
What a loser, right? I mean. When the going gets tough - that is your time to shine! Not to shut down. Even when things keep piling up on me I need to remember to breath. Then start working at the to do list, little by little. Maybe #1 and #3 work together. I procrastinate too much and then there is just this horrible weight on my shoulders from everything that is not done and BAM! BOOM! I curl up in the fetal position.
Today the daily devotion from James 2:1-13 says that Peter, a disciple friend of Jesus, said that, "I truly understand that God shows no partiality."
Whew!
Thank God for that! Literally.
First, thank God that he shows no partiality for all of us who fall short. (That's me!) That ugly list of three above is shameful. Ugly. A terrible character flaw.
But the wonderful God above doesn't hold those ugly three against me. No one is put before me, better than me, in His eyes. So in the end, I guess I really don't fall short, eh?
And when thinking about this scripture in regards to relationships that I have - I am also comforted. When I am in argument with one of God's children, I need to remember that God sees us both as the same. Both sinners. But both worthy enough of salvation.
God probably doesn't think fondly of me when I am showing judgement against one of His children.
If that one child can ask for God's forgiveness and receive it with no punishment, no worry of repercussion. Then I must try my hardest to do the same.
However, there is a difference between saying that you are sorry, apologizing for the act, and actually asking for forgiveness.
So - saying, "God I am so sorry for the things that I have done."
Is a step in the right direction. But. Means nothing really.
But saying - "God I am so sorry for the things that I have done, and I beg your forgiveness."
Means everything. Don't you think?
It is past due for me to ask for forgiveness and start to making those three things about me above, a thing of the past.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Reunited And It Feels So Good
Be careful of reading the title of this blog too many times in a row - or you will have the song stuck in your head for hours.
Trust me.
After making up with my husband over the Easter incident, it was almost time to celebrate his birthday. We hadn't planned much, seeing the we are still only one income, but I planned a nice little celebration at our house on the actual day and usually it would have consisted of dinner AND dessert, but this time it was just dessert.
I was talking to my mom on the phone keeping her updated on the birthday plans and how I was sad that I couldn't do anything more for his birthday.
I really have tried hard over the last few years to make a big deal out of my husband's birthday because when he was growing up, his family never did.
Like, for his first birthday together as a couple, I took him to San Francisco to see an A's baseball game (his fave team) and got amazing seats on the dirt.
(What a good girlfriend I was!)
Fast forward just two birthdays and the poor dude only gets a handful of my family and his family and brownies (and let me say right here that HIS side of the family was two and half hours LATE to this birthday - see I told you - every holiday!!!).
Boooo (on both accounts).
My mom suggested that after the party my husband and I come up to spend a week with them and they would pay for our gas (which is great considering the price now a days!) and they would also buy our food.
Hell ya!
So off we go, bags packed.
It's great to get away and be with my family up here. And for the first time ever we have left all of our pets, all 5 of them, back home with a sitter.
Now, that's really nice!
Anyway, having some free time on my hands, I asked my very best friend who I met in college to go out to dinner while we were up here.
This would have been the first time in almost THREE years that I have seen her and actually had a conversation longer than two sentences.
Last night we met at one of our old stomping grounds for dinner.
Three hours later I decided that I better cut it "short" since she hadn't even been home yet from work that day and had to go back work the next.
But, boy, what a difference three years makes!
Well, actually our friendship, even if it took backseat for a bit, kicked right back up from the second we sat down to eat.
I love that.
Only true best friends can come back together after so so long and not have any drama between each other or hurt feelings and just start right back up where we left off.
Three whole years.
Too long if you ask me. I mean, this chick is my absolute best friend.
We had lots to catch up on and just from looking over my life the past three years - a lot has changed.
I got a new job, moved states, started dating, got engaged, got married, bought a house, adopted three more pets, and on and on.
It feels so good to have my best friend back in my life.
And you know, I try so hard to keep my marriage happy and together, I really need to do lots more to keep my friendship with my best friend happy and together as well.
We have a date to meet up one more time before heading back home.
I hope that this is the beginning of a new chapter in our friendship and that it won't be another three years until I see her again.
Trust me.
After making up with my husband over the Easter incident, it was almost time to celebrate his birthday. We hadn't planned much, seeing the we are still only one income, but I planned a nice little celebration at our house on the actual day and usually it would have consisted of dinner AND dessert, but this time it was just dessert.
I was talking to my mom on the phone keeping her updated on the birthday plans and how I was sad that I couldn't do anything more for his birthday.
I really have tried hard over the last few years to make a big deal out of my husband's birthday because when he was growing up, his family never did.
Like, for his first birthday together as a couple, I took him to San Francisco to see an A's baseball game (his fave team) and got amazing seats on the dirt.
(What a good girlfriend I was!)
Fast forward just two birthdays and the poor dude only gets a handful of my family and his family and brownies (and let me say right here that HIS side of the family was two and half hours LATE to this birthday - see I told you - every holiday!!!).
Boooo (on both accounts).
My mom suggested that after the party my husband and I come up to spend a week with them and they would pay for our gas (which is great considering the price now a days!) and they would also buy our food.
Hell ya!
So off we go, bags packed.
It's great to get away and be with my family up here. And for the first time ever we have left all of our pets, all 5 of them, back home with a sitter.
Now, that's really nice!
Anyway, having some free time on my hands, I asked my very best friend who I met in college to go out to dinner while we were up here.
This would have been the first time in almost THREE years that I have seen her and actually had a conversation longer than two sentences.
Last night we met at one of our old stomping grounds for dinner.
Three hours later I decided that I better cut it "short" since she hadn't even been home yet from work that day and had to go back work the next.
But, boy, what a difference three years makes!
Well, actually our friendship, even if it took backseat for a bit, kicked right back up from the second we sat down to eat.
I love that.
Only true best friends can come back together after so so long and not have any drama between each other or hurt feelings and just start right back up where we left off.
Three whole years.
Too long if you ask me. I mean, this chick is my absolute best friend.
We had lots to catch up on and just from looking over my life the past three years - a lot has changed.
I got a new job, moved states, started dating, got engaged, got married, bought a house, adopted three more pets, and on and on.
It feels so good to have my best friend back in my life.
And you know, I try so hard to keep my marriage happy and together, I really need to do lots more to keep my friendship with my best friend happy and together as well.
We have a date to meet up one more time before heading back home.
I hope that this is the beginning of a new chapter in our friendship and that it won't be another three years until I see her again.
The Wait Is Over
I know you all have been holding your breath regarding the outcome of the last two posts.
Well, wait no longer my friends!
First, let me start from the end of the last post....
So, I was getting ready to drive home to implement my 10 better love stategies and when I got home I noticed that there were still lots of cars outside.
I walk in to find all of my husband's family still all there, in the front room, all looking at me - and at first I felt stupid. A total retard.
Why you ask?
Well, here I was, with a bag of wings, a homemade card, a list of my faults, and a present. At first his mother thought the present was for her. And she even asked me why I didn't bring enough food for everyone else.
UGH
From that point on, I decided to stay on track.
I handed my husband all the crap - all at once. I said the stupid line about being well rested and thanked him for feeing the dogs and I said the line about wanting to talk later over my shoulder as I ran out the front door.
All in all the experience lasted about three minutes.
Sounded good at the time, but looking back, I probably should have just stayed a wee bit longer to explain what I was doing.
After work I texted him to ask if his family was still at home because I really wanted to talk with him in private. He texted back. No such luck.
We ended up meeting at a park near by.
To make a long story short, we worked it all out. And now a running joke between us is, "You look well rested." Whatever, I thought it was a good compliment!
So, I don't know if those 10 steps to better prove your love actually worked or not.
But it helped me to remember that no matter how mad I get at him, we can always find a way to work it out.
It's a good thing I am so in love with him!
Well, wait no longer my friends!
First, let me start from the end of the last post....
So, I was getting ready to drive home to implement my 10 better love stategies and when I got home I noticed that there were still lots of cars outside.
I walk in to find all of my husband's family still all there, in the front room, all looking at me - and at first I felt stupid. A total retard.
Why you ask?
Well, here I was, with a bag of wings, a homemade card, a list of my faults, and a present. At first his mother thought the present was for her. And she even asked me why I didn't bring enough food for everyone else.
UGH
From that point on, I decided to stay on track.
I handed my husband all the crap - all at once. I said the stupid line about being well rested and thanked him for feeing the dogs and I said the line about wanting to talk later over my shoulder as I ran out the front door.
All in all the experience lasted about three minutes.
Sounded good at the time, but looking back, I probably should have just stayed a wee bit longer to explain what I was doing.
After work I texted him to ask if his family was still at home because I really wanted to talk with him in private. He texted back. No such luck.
We ended up meeting at a park near by.
To make a long story short, we worked it all out. And now a running joke between us is, "You look well rested." Whatever, I thought it was a good compliment!
So, I don't know if those 10 steps to better prove your love actually worked or not.
But it helped me to remember that no matter how mad I get at him, we can always find a way to work it out.
It's a good thing I am so in love with him!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Oh, The Ways
If you are a faithful reader of my blog then you are aware that I am a woman of lists. I love lists. I use them for work, for fun, for family. I work best by working through step-by-step processes. I guess that it why I am a type A personality.
It has been a few hours now since I posted my last mindless blog concerning my situation with my husband.
And after much praying, and reflection, and reading my blog over again, I came across a new list.
Ever read those silly lists offered by MSN relationships? They are kind of silly. Like "Ten ways to make him hot." Why do you need a list for that? Just move him the desert like I did.
But, in my hopeless mindset, I thought I would read through this new list out just a few weeks ago called, "10 Ways To Better Show Your Love."
Ok, I'm hooked. What are they?
Maybe if I am lucky I will find on that list blogging about your frustrations...
1. Make a Decision
2. Make food
3. Give a gift
4. Give compliments
5. Give your appreciation
6. Make a gesture of your very own
7. Be dominate
8. Be passive
9. Tell him what you are
10. Just show up
What a list huh? Boy can I pick 'em.
First, there is nothing about blogging? And second, this isn't your "usual" love list. I mean the top 5 are there - gifts, presence, attention, service, affection. But #7 and #8, what??
But, ok, I will still play along.
God knows that I can use all the help I can get regarding love these days.
#1 - make a decision. Alright. I make the decision to do this stupid love list today for my husband.
Not good enough you say?
Figured you say that. However, the description says that #1 refers to making the choice to commit to these 10 principles for your beloved. Ha, ha!
# 2 - make food. Ok. I made LOTS of food yesterday for him but he chose to not eat it. But we are talking about today, the present, not yesterday, the past. Plus if you really break it down, I really didn't make the food for him - I made it for Jesus and the celebration of Easter. Darn it. Alright. Make food. Done. I will go pick up some of his favorite chicken wings before going home, it isn't really making it, but I will watch someone make it.
# 3 - Give a gift. The wings! That doesn't work? Ok. I have this stupid snuggie thing that he will just love because it has his favorite college football team as the print of the fabric. Was going to give it to him for his birthday coming soon, but I bought too many presents anyway (as I always do), and I know he will like this any day, not just as a "birthday" gift. Check.
# 4 - Give compliments. Agh. These are getting harder. Ok. A compliment? Well, he is still breathing right? Ya, no, especially if I want to keep out of prison. I just was kidding by the way, I would never, ugh, stop his breathing. Um. I'm stumped. Compliment....well rested! Ok. When I first see him I will tell him that he looks well rested. Not the best, but hey, it's a start.
# 5 - Give your appreciation. Ew. No thanks! I mean, did you even read my last blog?? But, thinking about it. I left the house this morning before everyone else woke up and didn't feed the dogs. My husband texted me earlier and said that he would feed them for me. Ok, #4, check. I will verbally express my appreciation for feeding the dogs.
# 6 - Make a gesture of your very own. I don't really get this one. As described in the article, this is to make something, like a heart shaped wood cutting board (who wrote this?). I would say that a gesture of my very own would be to actually execute this stupid list to him. But, just in case the jury doesn't see it that way, a gesture of my very own, huh? I will make him a "just because" greeting card. That works. And I even have some card stock to use. Winning!! (Talk about a dude with relationship problems! Poor Charley)
# 7 - Be dominant. I LOVE this one! This might have even been the reason why I decided to do this in the first place. I joke. Be dominant. Description says to don't be a push-over. Makes sense. If I don't play this right, my husband might think that he got off easy yesterday because I am doing all of these nice things. Maybe he should start reading my blogs... Back to this point though. Ok. When I leave from seeing him this afternoon I will make a point to let him know that I wish to talk to him later tonight. We can discuss more in detail about my feelings from last night. That's dominant, right? The dreaded, "We need to talk" line?
# 8 - Be passive. I mean really, who wrote this?? First you tell me not to be a push-over and now you say to be passive. A man wrote this, I just know it. The good ol' "be an aggressive sexy underwear model and a vegetarian librarian" at the same time. Please. But, ok. Again I give into this experiment. When I see him this afternoon I will not get into it with him regarding yesterday. I will be passive. Give my bundle of love offerings and be gone.
# 9 - Tell him what you are.He should know right? But for the sake of this list. Fine. I'll will write this list (another list! I am in!) that will include my short comings, my failures, everything bad that I am, and keeping with the directions, I won't apologize for anything, just acknowledge that I know I am this way.
FINALLY!
# 10 - Just show up. Easiest one! I will "just show up" to our house, were he currently is, deliver all of these better love offerings and be on my way. I have half an hour before this can be executed. T-minus 30 minutes.
Alright, let's recap, (again, A type personality):
Just show up (#10 and #1) in half an hour by first complimenting (#4) that he looks well rested and thank him for feeding the dogs this morning (#5). Put down his wings (#2) on the table. Offer my gesture of love (#6) greeting card that I personally made and tell him that he can read the other separate sheet (#9) later today. Pull out his snuggie from my purse and offer it to him (#3). Let him tell me more details from last night since I didn't let him tell me then and not say anything back but encouraging points (#8). Give him a goodbye kiss and tell him on the way out that when I get home from work we need to sit down again because I have things I wish to discuss further (#7).
Ha! I did it! All 10. In your face devil cupid!
If anything, no one can ever say that I never tried to keep my marriage together. Let's all pray that this works. Or if anything, helps me to be happier.
It has been a few hours now since I posted my last mindless blog concerning my situation with my husband.
And after much praying, and reflection, and reading my blog over again, I came across a new list.
Ever read those silly lists offered by MSN relationships? They are kind of silly. Like "Ten ways to make him hot." Why do you need a list for that? Just move him the desert like I did.
But, in my hopeless mindset, I thought I would read through this new list out just a few weeks ago called, "10 Ways To Better Show Your Love."
Ok, I'm hooked. What are they?
Maybe if I am lucky I will find on that list blogging about your frustrations...
1. Make a Decision
2. Make food
3. Give a gift
4. Give compliments
5. Give your appreciation
6. Make a gesture of your very own
7. Be dominate
8. Be passive
9. Tell him what you are
10. Just show up
What a list huh? Boy can I pick 'em.
First, there is nothing about blogging? And second, this isn't your "usual" love list. I mean the top 5 are there - gifts, presence, attention, service, affection. But #7 and #8, what??
But, ok, I will still play along.
God knows that I can use all the help I can get regarding love these days.
#1 - make a decision. Alright. I make the decision to do this stupid love list today for my husband.
Not good enough you say?
Figured you say that. However, the description says that #1 refers to making the choice to commit to these 10 principles for your beloved. Ha, ha!
# 2 - make food. Ok. I made LOTS of food yesterday for him but he chose to not eat it. But we are talking about today, the present, not yesterday, the past. Plus if you really break it down, I really didn't make the food for him - I made it for Jesus and the celebration of Easter. Darn it. Alright. Make food. Done. I will go pick up some of his favorite chicken wings before going home, it isn't really making it, but I will watch someone make it.
# 3 - Give a gift. The wings! That doesn't work? Ok. I have this stupid snuggie thing that he will just love because it has his favorite college football team as the print of the fabric. Was going to give it to him for his birthday coming soon, but I bought too many presents anyway (as I always do), and I know he will like this any day, not just as a "birthday" gift. Check.
# 4 - Give compliments. Agh. These are getting harder. Ok. A compliment? Well, he is still breathing right? Ya, no, especially if I want to keep out of prison. I just was kidding by the way, I would never, ugh, stop his breathing. Um. I'm stumped. Compliment....well rested! Ok. When I first see him I will tell him that he looks well rested. Not the best, but hey, it's a start.
# 5 - Give your appreciation. Ew. No thanks! I mean, did you even read my last blog?? But, thinking about it. I left the house this morning before everyone else woke up and didn't feed the dogs. My husband texted me earlier and said that he would feed them for me. Ok, #4, check. I will verbally express my appreciation for feeding the dogs.
# 6 - Make a gesture of your very own. I don't really get this one. As described in the article, this is to make something, like a heart shaped wood cutting board (who wrote this?). I would say that a gesture of my very own would be to actually execute this stupid list to him. But, just in case the jury doesn't see it that way, a gesture of my very own, huh? I will make him a "just because" greeting card. That works. And I even have some card stock to use. Winning!! (Talk about a dude with relationship problems! Poor Charley)
# 7 - Be dominant. I LOVE this one! This might have even been the reason why I decided to do this in the first place. I joke. Be dominant. Description says to don't be a push-over. Makes sense. If I don't play this right, my husband might think that he got off easy yesterday because I am doing all of these nice things. Maybe he should start reading my blogs... Back to this point though. Ok. When I leave from seeing him this afternoon I will make a point to let him know that I wish to talk to him later tonight. We can discuss more in detail about my feelings from last night. That's dominant, right? The dreaded, "We need to talk" line?
# 8 - Be passive. I mean really, who wrote this?? First you tell me not to be a push-over and now you say to be passive. A man wrote this, I just know it. The good ol' "be an aggressive sexy underwear model and a vegetarian librarian" at the same time. Please. But, ok. Again I give into this experiment. When I see him this afternoon I will not get into it with him regarding yesterday. I will be passive. Give my bundle of love offerings and be gone.
# 9 - Tell him what you are.He should know right? But for the sake of this list. Fine. I'll will write this list (another list! I am in!) that will include my short comings, my failures, everything bad that I am, and keeping with the directions, I won't apologize for anything, just acknowledge that I know I am this way.
FINALLY!
# 10 - Just show up. Easiest one! I will "just show up" to our house, were he currently is, deliver all of these better love offerings and be on my way. I have half an hour before this can be executed. T-minus 30 minutes.
Alright, let's recap, (again, A type personality):
Just show up (#10 and #1) in half an hour by first complimenting (#4) that he looks well rested and thank him for feeding the dogs this morning (#5). Put down his wings (#2) on the table. Offer my gesture of love (#6) greeting card that I personally made and tell him that he can read the other separate sheet (#9) later today. Pull out his snuggie from my purse and offer it to him (#3). Let him tell me more details from last night since I didn't let him tell me then and not say anything back but encouraging points (#8). Give him a goodbye kiss and tell him on the way out that when I get home from work we need to sit down again because I have things I wish to discuss further (#7).
Ha! I did it! All 10. In your face devil cupid!
If anything, no one can ever say that I never tried to keep my marriage together. Let's all pray that this works. Or if anything, helps me to be happier.
Rise From The Dead
Happy Easter! Christ has risen, hallelujah!
I hope that each of your holiday festivities were Christ-centered and included lots of great tasting food.
Yesterday was an interesting day, or should I say, an interesting new mix that was created in this so-called, Ochoa experiment, otherwise known as my life.
My husband and I weren’t on great terms to begin with, starting the day. As usual, he woke up cranky and took awhile to snap out of it. And then we went to get my grandmother to take to church with us, complete with her wheelchair and oxygen tank, and that frustrated him because it was taking too long. Then when we finally made it to church, he was upset again because I had to leave him and my grandmother alone in the pew while I mingled around, the “job” of every church staff person come Sundays.
Actually, putting it down on paper like this, I now see how many times he gets upset during just a morning. Very sad. Clearly he isn’t happy either…but more on this later…
The Pastor’s sermon during the service was one of his better ones. He spoke on the importance of a woman being the first to the grave on Easter morning (huh, I reflected on that too just days ago!) and how we are to now go out and celebrate the resurrection.
But there was a point in his sermon that sounded my internal alarm.
Pastor was trying to make a connection between changing points in our lives vs. the changing point in the world’s lifetime (Christ’s resurrection), and that was it. That was the only spark I needed to change my outlook for the rest of the day. No turning back.
You see, Pastor asked, what one influence in your life to this point has completely changed it for the better. 9 times out of 10 people said their spouses. I know this because he asked 10 random people in the congregation, and 9 of them said their spouses.
I was floored because that wasn’t my answer.
Actually, thinking about it the rest of the day, my husband would never qualify for this answer. This is very bold to say, and it is easier when behind a computer screen, but in the name of online therapy, there it is, I actually would say the reverse about him…things have gotten much harder in my life after meeting him.
And how horrible is that to say?! A spouse is supposed to be the enabler in your life, not the disabler. He is supposed to be the answer to the Pastor’s question, and that’s why 9 times out of 10, it was.
Where did I go wrong?
I have been working feverishly for three years now trying to create a great relationship with my now husband, and here it was, smacked in my face on Easter morning, that in fact, what I have been working for, well, it isn’t working.
Things got more complicated as the afternoon progressed.
After church we headed home where I prepared a six appetizer spread, and a five course dinner. Adrian’s mother and sister came over about an hour earlier than the main course would be finished, and decided to leave during this time to visit some friends then come back when the main course was ready.
I wish I could say that I was surprised by this. But I wasn’t. Here I just spent the last two days, shopping for, cleaning for, prep cooking for, a blessed Easter spread with family, and they can’t even stay during the first part of the party? But, whatever, who I am to let this bother me, right? So, I quickly brushed this off and continued to cook, this day is about celebrating Jesus, not them.
After the hour was up, they still weren’t back. Again, no big surprise. And we waited. Waited some more.
Then my husband gets a call from his sister that she was at the park and somehow hit her head and was bleeding. It was decided by the people at the park to take her into the emergency room. However, in the efforts to not worry their mother, she was not told, and she was on her way back to our house for dinner.
Well, somewhere between my mother-in-law driving to our house and my husband hanging up the phone, she found out. She walked into our house, as we were eating our main course, and no more than a minute later, my husband’s sister calls again and wants her mother to go to the ER to be with her. So my mil goes into freak out mode, as she is known to do, and jumps back in her car and off she goes to the hospital.
Ten minutes later my husband gets a call that he too needs to go to the hospital.
So off he speeds to the ER. Dinner plate still full of food.
My grandmother and I are left with the most confused looks on our faces. Like, “What just happened?” Seeing that my sister-in-law was the one to originally call my husband in the first place regarding her accident, I was not too concerned of any life threatening problems. I figured at best, a few stitches?
Grandma and I finish eating our lunch. We talk some. Then I drive her home. Unload the oxygen tank and the wheelchair and get her settled in for the night.
I drive home, put all the food away, do all the dishes, put my house back together (it was in “party” mode of course), and change into my pjs.
Still no word from the hospital.
Time goes on and still no word, a few texts now and again that say, “We are still here.” (Go figure, seeing that they are not home…)
And around 8:30pm (remember, they all left for the ER around 2pm), I get a text from my sister-in-law in LA, the one who is married to my husband’s brother, asking if her husband is coming home tonight.
Wait a minute.
You mean to tell me that the brother (there are three siblings total), came all the way down from LA just to sit in the ER with them?
Are you kidding me??
The sister is 27 for goodness for sake – AND has her mother by her side AND my husband.
And to put a cherry on that side story – the brother told us weeks ago that he and his family could not come to spend Easter with us because he was the only one working that day at his job, and no way in a million years would he be allowed time off Easter seeing that he was the only one.
So knowing that, and knowing that he probably left in the middle of his shift, and knowing that my sil was probably in not that bad of shape, I just couldn’t believe it.
And to add fuel to the fire. My bil didn’t even tell his wife he was coming. I guess his phone is not working, so he drove all three hours here, and then called his wife from his mother’s phone telling her where he was and what happened.
Are you freaking kidding me?
This whole hospital story just floors me. Yes, going to the emergency room is traumatic. But as far as I could infer, she was a little banged up, but not dying, not needing emergency surgery. And again, she is twenty-freaking-seven!
After my sil from LA’s text, I lost it. Putting together the entire day with my husband, and seeing how his brother treats his wife, I lost it. This is a family thing. Treat wives like shit. Ok, not like shit. I’m getting overly emotional. But, you get the point. They don’t treat us wives not very well.
For the first time in our relationship, even counting way back on our first date, this was the first time I didn’t feel that we belonged to each other. And that was the weirdest feeling of all. Here I was. In a home in which we created together. Sitting with our two beautiful dogs, that we adopted together. And I felt like a complete stranger to him. Separated from him and his true family. His true family being of course his brother, sister, and mother.
I have been only kidding myself to think that I was his family.
I spent the next three hours overly dramatic, I do so confess. But once that separation theory got into my head, there was no turning back for me.
I mean, how did I get this so wrong? How did I get to this place?
I dialed my parents in need of their thoughts instead of mine. And God love them, they are only looking out for the best of me, but by the end of that conversation I felt further separated then before.
My parents told me that this would never change, that his family will always interrupt our Easter parties, our lives, it will never change. They reminded me that the last two holidays were ruined as well because of the same reasons (well, not the ER story, but you get the point, ruined due to him and his family). So I need to mentally prepare myself that holidays, and regular days, are just going to suck and I need to suck it up – or make a change.
The change I am guessing they are referring to is the “d” word. The word that I swore up and down that I would not even consider in my marriage, which was going to last a life-time. (Did you notice that I just said, was? This is bad…)
My parents, people of the same concept of mine above, suggesting this to me?
Needless to say I took notice.
Maybe this isn’t the best situation. I mean I already said that my husband is a disabler not an enabler.
That’s not good.
But maybe I am just too caught up in recent events and not seeing things straight?
So by 11pm they were finally home. And when they got home, I decided to just go to bed. Not see any one. Not talk to anyone. I would hate to say something then, at that hour, that I would regret the next day, and I knew I would feel better in the morning.
Well, here it is the next morning, and I feel the same…
I have always heard it said that marriage is one of the hardest things you will do in your lifetime. And before I met my husband I always wondered if that was the case then why do people get married?
In the Bible, Christ refers to marriage in a different sense than woman and man. Christ says that He is the groom, the husband, and the church is the bride, the wife, and the relationship that Christ has with the church is marriage.
Praise God for that, because right now, that’s the only marriage that I am happy to be a part of.
And only by the help of my spiritual husband, may I come to better terms with my earthly one.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
So, You Want To Be A Christian Leader?
I have blogged on several occasions regarding my thoughts of leadership. But, I noticed that I have never really spelled out what I think a true leader should be and do.
First let me reaffirm that leaders are what make the world go around. And God-breathed leaders are what make God's kingdom go around. Leaders are important, but to me, God-breathed leaders are a must.
In order to be a God-breathed leader you must ask yourself-
1. Is this leadership position one that God is placing me in or one that I am placing myself in?
2. Are my goals as a leader my own or Christs?
3. Do I truly have the time to commit to this leadership position, enough so, that will bring honor to God?
If your answers to the above questions are not those of Christ's centerness, then in my humble opinion, as of right now, you have no place in Christian leadership.
A Christian leader encourages, promotes, loves, watches out for, and cares for the people in which she or he is serving.
To lead is to serve. It is as simple as that.
Sometimes Christian leaders are not encouraging. No promoting. Not loving. Don't watch out for the betterment of the team or ministry. Don't care.
And it breaks my heart.
There is nothing more in the forefront of a church than its Christian leaders.
And if those leaders, some of those leaders, or even one of those leaders is not God-breathed, that is bad news for Christ's church.
At my church, Christian leaders are usually the ones who are chair people of different committees or ministries. They are in the forefront. They represent their committee, or the ministry.
We already talked about what a Christian leader should be. But also to that, as a Christian leader it is up to you to:
1. Share the Good News with others. This is Christ's commandment to all, but especially to leaders. That is our number one priority. So ask yourself, am I approachable? Do others feel comfortable enough to walk up to me and ask me about faith? Do I feel comfortable going to others and asking the same? Sometimes leaders can get so caught up in running their ministries that they seem "too busy" to be approached. Watch for that. And remember, it is noted in the Bible that "Jesus walked slowly through the crowds." He wasn't running around like a chicken with is his head cut off.
2. Share the ministry. This doesn't just mean delegate different tasks for people to help you with your ministry, but also so that you are helping those people be a part of the ministry. If you find that you are doing 80% of the work on your committee, then you my friend are not a leader. No one is following you, especially if you are doing the majority of the work. When I think of NOT sharing the ministry I think of a time when a leader was asking for adult volunteers. Only one stepped forward, and the leader turned the person away because the volunteer wasn't needed at that particular time. Needless to say, I was furious when I found out about this! Not only was this leader wrong for turning away the ONLY volunteer but the leader wasn't sharing the ministry. Sure, they may not have been a noticeable job for the volunteer at the time, but as the leader, it is up to you to find a job, a useful job for that volunteer. My blood still boils when I think of that story. What a way to NEVER get volunteers ever again.
3. Support ministry growth, not stunt it. As a chairperson people might come to you with ideas for new ministries, new opportunities. Don't shut them down! We are to build up God's kingdom, not make it smaller. New ministries = a healthy church. Support the people who wish to make this happen. Offer helpful advice in a friendly manner and tone, even when you have some serious concerns or can think of some major pit-falls. The last thing you want to be seen as is a "bully" or an authoritative figure. Work with these people. And refer back to what being a Christian leader actually is!
Now. As far as Christian leaders being chair people for ministry goes I would like to take this time before closing to discuss how I feel these people should be running their Christian meetings as:
1. Open with a check-in of all the members. This is to "break the ice" of all the people present, to help make the committee members feel more comfortable with their fellow members, and to promote friendship. Check-ins can be as easy as telling your favorite food, your favorite holiday. Or it could be more faith-based, like telling your favorite church memory, or explaining why you are in ministry.
2. Hold worship time. Usually committee meetings have little if nothing to do with worshipping Christ. That's unfortunate because every time Christian people come together, there should be some type of worship included! That is the bases of our faith for goodness sake. Worship could be as quick as an opening prayer asking God to guide the ideas of the meeting. It could be reading a scripture or story that involves something related to the meeting's topics. I held a food safety training course recently at church with fellow church members and my worship time was looking at the importance of food throughout the Bible and especially in Jesus' ministry.
3. Have an agenda of topics to discuss and stick to it..
4. Meetings should NEVER go over one hour. This is for several reasons. One, to ensure that you respect people's schedules. Knowing that meetings are just an hour will also help your meeting's attendance and participation. Two, there is such a thing as "death of a topic" where it can be discussed too long. Keeping meetings under an hour ensure that no death's occur. Having an approved agenda (from #3) also helps keep the meeting running to only 60 minutes. If you have four points on your agenda and its 45 minutes in and you're at point two, you must get a move on, or table some agenda items. If and when you hit that 60 minute point, and the agenda is not complete, you must ask your committee if they wish to continue on for a set number of time (go 15 minutes more, 30 minutes more), if not, table the other agenda items for the next meeting.
5. Be sure that you have minutes taken during the meetings. Either by you or by a committee member. As the chairperson, you may be so caught up in running the meeting that you forget small discussion topics, who voted for what, and so on.
Being a Christian leader isn't easy. And it is always a work in progress.
My best advice for leaders is to keep Christ first. And remember that we work for Him and Him alone.
First let me reaffirm that leaders are what make the world go around. And God-breathed leaders are what make God's kingdom go around. Leaders are important, but to me, God-breathed leaders are a must.
In order to be a God-breathed leader you must ask yourself-
1. Is this leadership position one that God is placing me in or one that I am placing myself in?
2. Are my goals as a leader my own or Christs?
3. Do I truly have the time to commit to this leadership position, enough so, that will bring honor to God?
If your answers to the above questions are not those of Christ's centerness, then in my humble opinion, as of right now, you have no place in Christian leadership.
A Christian leader encourages, promotes, loves, watches out for, and cares for the people in which she or he is serving.
To lead is to serve. It is as simple as that.
Sometimes Christian leaders are not encouraging. No promoting. Not loving. Don't watch out for the betterment of the team or ministry. Don't care.
And it breaks my heart.
There is nothing more in the forefront of a church than its Christian leaders.
And if those leaders, some of those leaders, or even one of those leaders is not God-breathed, that is bad news for Christ's church.
At my church, Christian leaders are usually the ones who are chair people of different committees or ministries. They are in the forefront. They represent their committee, or the ministry.
We already talked about what a Christian leader should be. But also to that, as a Christian leader it is up to you to:
1. Share the Good News with others. This is Christ's commandment to all, but especially to leaders. That is our number one priority. So ask yourself, am I approachable? Do others feel comfortable enough to walk up to me and ask me about faith? Do I feel comfortable going to others and asking the same? Sometimes leaders can get so caught up in running their ministries that they seem "too busy" to be approached. Watch for that. And remember, it is noted in the Bible that "Jesus walked slowly through the crowds." He wasn't running around like a chicken with is his head cut off.
2. Share the ministry. This doesn't just mean delegate different tasks for people to help you with your ministry, but also so that you are helping those people be a part of the ministry. If you find that you are doing 80% of the work on your committee, then you my friend are not a leader. No one is following you, especially if you are doing the majority of the work. When I think of NOT sharing the ministry I think of a time when a leader was asking for adult volunteers. Only one stepped forward, and the leader turned the person away because the volunteer wasn't needed at that particular time. Needless to say, I was furious when I found out about this! Not only was this leader wrong for turning away the ONLY volunteer but the leader wasn't sharing the ministry. Sure, they may not have been a noticeable job for the volunteer at the time, but as the leader, it is up to you to find a job, a useful job for that volunteer. My blood still boils when I think of that story. What a way to NEVER get volunteers ever again.
3. Support ministry growth, not stunt it. As a chairperson people might come to you with ideas for new ministries, new opportunities. Don't shut them down! We are to build up God's kingdom, not make it smaller. New ministries = a healthy church. Support the people who wish to make this happen. Offer helpful advice in a friendly manner and tone, even when you have some serious concerns or can think of some major pit-falls. The last thing you want to be seen as is a "bully" or an authoritative figure. Work with these people. And refer back to what being a Christian leader actually is!
Now. As far as Christian leaders being chair people for ministry goes I would like to take this time before closing to discuss how I feel these people should be running their Christian meetings as:
1. Open with a check-in of all the members. This is to "break the ice" of all the people present, to help make the committee members feel more comfortable with their fellow members, and to promote friendship. Check-ins can be as easy as telling your favorite food, your favorite holiday. Or it could be more faith-based, like telling your favorite church memory, or explaining why you are in ministry.
2. Hold worship time. Usually committee meetings have little if nothing to do with worshipping Christ. That's unfortunate because every time Christian people come together, there should be some type of worship included! That is the bases of our faith for goodness sake. Worship could be as quick as an opening prayer asking God to guide the ideas of the meeting. It could be reading a scripture or story that involves something related to the meeting's topics. I held a food safety training course recently at church with fellow church members and my worship time was looking at the importance of food throughout the Bible and especially in Jesus' ministry.
3. Have an agenda of topics to discuss and stick to it..
4. Meetings should NEVER go over one hour. This is for several reasons. One, to ensure that you respect people's schedules. Knowing that meetings are just an hour will also help your meeting's attendance and participation. Two, there is such a thing as "death of a topic" where it can be discussed too long. Keeping meetings under an hour ensure that no death's occur. Having an approved agenda (from #3) also helps keep the meeting running to only 60 minutes. If you have four points on your agenda and its 45 minutes in and you're at point two, you must get a move on, or table some agenda items. If and when you hit that 60 minute point, and the agenda is not complete, you must ask your committee if they wish to continue on for a set number of time (go 15 minutes more, 30 minutes more), if not, table the other agenda items for the next meeting.
5. Be sure that you have minutes taken during the meetings. Either by you or by a committee member. As the chairperson, you may be so caught up in running the meeting that you forget small discussion topics, who voted for what, and so on.
Being a Christian leader isn't easy. And it is always a work in progress.
My best advice for leaders is to keep Christ first. And remember that we work for Him and Him alone.
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