First off, no one is pregnant. Well. Someone is, I am sure. But not me!
...
Well, this is day three of being back from a week's vacation.
Ah.
Vacation.
A time to get away from the mess called life and escape from the day-by-day routine for just a little bit. To rejuvenate. Relax.
I wish I could go back.
Being back home has really put some things into perspective.
#1. I procrastinate.
I don't mean to. But I do. I am constantly putting things off. Letting things drift off into space without thinking twice about it. Growing up some of the people I was most close to were good at this too. And when I was little I promised myself that I would never be that way. Turns out, I was wrong.
That sucks.
#2. I am a bad friend.
I posted last time about how I reconnected with my absolute best friend in the whole entire world after three years of not seeing each other. #2 really hits hard because I so love this person, as a best friend of course. Why didn't I realize this sooner? Thankfully, she was just as bad as I was during our "lost" years and we both have committed to getting back to where we were in our friendship.
Work in progress.
#3. When the going gets tough - I shut down.
What a loser, right? I mean. When the going gets tough - that is your time to shine! Not to shut down. Even when things keep piling up on me I need to remember to breath. Then start working at the to do list, little by little. Maybe #1 and #3 work together. I procrastinate too much and then there is just this horrible weight on my shoulders from everything that is not done and BAM! BOOM! I curl up in the fetal position.
Today the daily devotion from James 2:1-13 says that Peter, a disciple friend of Jesus, said that, "I truly understand that God shows no partiality."
Whew!
Thank God for that! Literally.
First, thank God that he shows no partiality for all of us who fall short. (That's me!) That ugly list of three above is shameful. Ugly. A terrible character flaw.
But the wonderful God above doesn't hold those ugly three against me. No one is put before me, better than me, in His eyes. So in the end, I guess I really don't fall short, eh?
And when thinking about this scripture in regards to relationships that I have - I am also comforted. When I am in argument with one of God's children, I need to remember that God sees us both as the same. Both sinners. But both worthy enough of salvation.
God probably doesn't think fondly of me when I am showing judgement against one of His children.
If that one child can ask for God's forgiveness and receive it with no punishment, no worry of repercussion. Then I must try my hardest to do the same.
However, there is a difference between saying that you are sorry, apologizing for the act, and actually asking for forgiveness.
So - saying, "God I am so sorry for the things that I have done."
Is a step in the right direction. But. Means nothing really.
But saying - "God I am so sorry for the things that I have done, and I beg your forgiveness."
Means everything. Don't you think?
It is past due for me to ask for forgiveness and start to making those three things about me above, a thing of the past.
