Total bomb. Total failure. Totally hopeless.
My husband has been having lots of stresses at work. He has been working at his "new" job for almost eight months now after being unemployed for almost 6 months prior. He is still the last person that they have hired on, and he started from the bottom, and now he is considered # 2 in ranking positions. Not bad if you ask me!
Anyway, a few weeks ago it got around that the store manager was going to be transferring to another store in another state. So who would be promoted to take over as store manager? Or, who would they bring in?
Well, I got it into my head that my husband should be promoted to store manager. He is the # 2 anyway underneath the store manager # 1 position and he knows the layout of the business and he basically has been running the store anyway since the store manager's transfer.
My first fail - getting it into my husband's head that he should be promoted to the # 1 position too.
I went on and on and on for weeks over how he should approached the district manager and ask for the # 1 job and how even though he has been there the shortest amount of time, he is the best choice for the company and would not let the company down.
My second, major fail - getting too emotional when he was turned down.
Yesterday he came home for lunch (a 45-minute lunch instead of the regular hour because the store needs him that badly) and told me that he talked it over with the district manager and he didn't think that my husband was ready for the # 1 spot yet, and that the job would not go to him.
Now being in my reasonable professional state-of-mind, this makes sense. My husband has not been with the company very long, so much so he doesn't even qualify for vacation time yet, and he has not been trained for such a position.
But yesterday, oh man, I was livid! I was pissed! I even threw a few "f" bombs out. How dare he be turned down for the job! He deserves it. He can do it. And he would make the company better.
After ranting to my husband, he looked at me and told me that me being so upset over this is not helping him in anyway. It just makes him madder. It just makes him more stressed out. And I shouldn't be acting this way.
Deep breath.
He is so right.
Major fail on my part. It is not my place to add to his stress. And if there is still that small chance that he could end up being promoted, he may blow it, if his head isn't all together, and he is too emotional like me!
So, I took it God. Which I should have done in the first place...
I got the dogs and my devotional book of prayers and scriptures and we went out in the backyard after he left after lunch.
I read page after page of the book until I felt my heart soften. Then I went to God in prayer. Asking him to release the stresses that I have placed on my husband and to help me keep positive and light even in this heavy situation.
My prayers turned to gratitude and I realized that just a few months ago, my prayer was that my husband even be given a job.
And I am so grateful to God for blessing us with his employment once again. And to think that he was at the very bottom when he started, and now he is # 2. What a blessing!
I shouldn't get so caught up in emotion over this promotion of being # 1. If he is right for the job, and God sees this promotion as best fit for us, then he will be promoted. But it is not for me to try to control this situation, or get emotional about it. God is in control. God is able to provide for us. And even though I try and try to remember that always, sometimes I fall short.
It's funny how things are never good enough, huh? I am always wanting more, wanting better. And yesterday when I was praying to God out in the sunshine, I understood why.
It's because this earth wasn't made for us. We are separated from God here. Nothing will be good enough until we are where we belong, with our creator, living forever in heaven with Him.
Until that time, we have to keep our eyes toward heaven. Nothing can get you down when you are always looking up!
