God is awesome.
Every time I think that he doesn't love me or has forgotten about me or is ignoring me, he puts me in my place. And that's a welcomed thing!
My husband and I hit the three week unemployment mark. And I won't lie, a sense of panic came over me when I deposited my last paycheck into our account and saw the balance.
Yes, we do have savings to supplement. But, seeing that number hit me like a ton of bricks. And to add fuel to the fire, his unemployment benefits still haven't kicked in. The reason? The entire state of California seems to be unemployed and there's not enough hours in a day to process each claim. So, we are waiting. Last check-in with the unemployment office was that it would take at least another 10 days for his first check to be mailed.
The next day I went to the market to buy groceries for the week and I felt poor. I know that we have savings to buy our "normal" food but I would rather not. So instead I purchased on sale soups, noodles, and boxed dinners. Our regular bill is usually around $75, this week, it was $45. We are in the poor house ladies and gentlemen.
And then, God bless him, God put me in my place....
I went out of the main church building to go back to my office and noticed a lady walking slowly toward me. It was a very cold windy day and I was walking fast back to my room and really didn't even want to stop because the secretary could easily take care of her.
But something inside me told me to stop.
So I approached the lady, introduced myself, and told her to come back with me to the main office to get out of the cold.
Once there she told us that she was looking for some financial assistance. Now usually at this point, I pull out a referral sheet to the Salvation Army and tell the person that we partner with them, and all of our resources to help are over there.
But again something inside me told me to stop and not to say that.
She continued to tell her requests and we wrote them all down. We instructed her to come back in two days, since she didn't have a phone, and we would update her on if we were able to help at all or not.
She walked out and I once again felt the nudge of the holy spirit telling me to offer her some food we have yet to send to the Salvation Army.
I quickly bagged the items and ran outside to stop her in the parking lot.
And well, my attitude of being poor changed.
She shared with me her past struggles and that for three months, she has been homeless, living in her old car. I asked her why she hadn't seeked help sooner and at that point I had to throw up my hands and say, "Ok, God, I am sorry for my pity party the last few days." "This is the true need not my need to eat fancy meals every day."
Her reason for not coming to seek churches help? She felt she wasn't worthy enough because she turned away from God in her past and didn't know how to return.
YES! This is the reason that I am in ministry folks. I am richly blessed to be apart of this venture and share in this story with this lady.
And what disgusts me beyond belief is that we weren't the first church that she seeked help from. Well, that doesn't digust me, but hold on. The first four churches that she tried, all turned her away. Two said that they didn't have the funds to help, one said that since she had an out-of-state license she couldn't receive help, and one said that since she wasn't a member, she couldn't receive anything...and this was even before hearing her request. For all they knew, she could of been just asking for $50.
Disgusting.
I am disgusted.
This is not what the body of Christ is all about. Who are we to turn people away? And even if there was no possible way to give her funds, why couldn't we just hear what she has to say? Pray with her? Offer her emotional support?
The lady later told me that she told herself after being rejected four times, and seeing that it took her the good part of three months to ask churches for help in the first place, that she would only go to one more church to try for help.
God made that fifth church us.
And I also found out that the reason she was walking so slowly from the parking lot to the office when I first saw her - was because she was talking herself into being strong enough to actually walk through our church doors.
God knew that she wouldn't be strong enough for that and that's why I was there outside with her and heard a call to bring her in with me.
Here I was feeling badly about myself because I was the one that needed the help, needed the crutch.
And God lifted me out of my depression and showed me that he still needs me to give and uphold people in need.
This lady and I have quickly developed a friendship over the last week.
And you know. Even though she has nothing, she has been living in her car the last three months, she has given me so much.
I am so thankful that God put this wonderful lady in my life at this time and that I heard his call to pay special attention to her.
I no longer feel poor.
And I am ashamed to say that I even did feel that way.
My bank account doesn't decide my fate.
My faith and my good works through Christ do.
