Take a Message for Me!

I have always been taught to treat people as I wish to be treated. 

And I think I am being tested on this. 

For the last two years, I have been in contact with a woman and her family in need. The church has provided her family with holiday food baskets. And on occasion, she has called asking for additional food assistance. 

The last three or four months however, it has gotten really bad. 

She has called asking for food, toilet paper, and dog food, almost on a monthly basis. And the assistance always has to come right this second, never in a day or two.

Now, our church supports a local food pantry. And this woman can certainly go use that pantry. However, she cannot, because she has already used up her "free" passes with the pantry, that offers food assistance three times in a calendar year to families. 

It's not even March yet people!

The house that she lives at is not the best. It is dirty. It is cluttered. It is smelly. And I think they run a shanky puppy mill out of their house too.

Obviously this family needs more financial income since they are seeking out for food assistance. 

But I am almost certain that they already receive government assistance, and just are not using it efficiently. And, yes, I know I should not be that person who wants to dictate how their money is spent. 

But still!

The lady has called at least three times in the last week, and each time she does, I ask the secretary to take a message. 

I was hoping that the lady would get the hint. But clearly she has not yet. 

If this family didn't include any children, I think I would be better at telling them I can no longer provide assistance. But, there are children involved. And I just hate the knowing that there are hungry children out there. 

Treat others as you treat yourself. 

Well, that means calling back and dealing with it.  

Ah, Women

I am sure all of the men have perked up their ears from the title of this rant.

But, first, let me say, I am a woman. Proud owner of every womanly body part there is. 

Now let me say, I don't understand women.

(And the men say, "AMEN SISTER!")

Sure, it is not fair for me to generalize EVERY woman into this proclamation. But, for ranting sake, it will remain. 

From reading my other blog posts, you already know that I consider myself a "potato" heart. I am not overly emotional. I lead with my brain in most cases, not my heart. My husband was the one to cry at the birth of our child for Heaven's Sake, as I laid there not looking at the precious face of my newborn, but instead looking at the doctor asking when I could get up and leave. 

I don't understand emotional women. 

It is said that when you lead with your emotions, you are leading with false hope. And I almost totally agree with that. You should lead with truth and reason. 

I don't understand women who cause drama.

It is said that when you cause drama you cause it to either bring more positive attention to yourself, or to bring more negative attention to the person you are gossiping about.

I don't understand women who are selfish.

To me, yes, I am generalizing again, women are nurturers, women are partners, women are caring. And I don't get the women who are self-seeking, self-serving. God didn't create Eve to open an apple business. Think that about. 

I don't understand women who control the men in their lives. 

I know so many women who literally and figuratively wear the pants in their relationships. And truthfully, we are taught to share the pant wearing. But why do so many men have little to no say in their relationships? Why even have a partner if all we are going to do is control them?

I don't understand women who are "busy."

Ugh. I really don't like that word. It is so unapproachable. It leaves no room for feedback, no room for a relationship to grow. "How are you?" Answer: "Busy." Well, then, guess you are too busy for me! (And, for God if you think about it.)

I could go on and on. But as a member of the womanhood movement, I am embarrassed by my follow members. We all should do more to improve our movement of sisterhood.

To Be or Not To Be...Is That A Question?

The phrase, "struggling with my faith" seems like an oxymoron to me. 

To me, there is no struggle. Faith either is or is not. There is no fight about it. It is true or not true. You either believe, or don't believe. Period.

But. I have witnessed so many times, people "struggling" with faith.

And I just don't get it. 

God is either God of everything, or God of nothing. Jesus is either the Son of God, or the Son of Nothing. 

There is no grey area here. It truly is as black and white, as, well, the colors black and white. 

However, what I have come to realize is that people aren't struggling with faith itself. They are struggling with themselves in the life of faith.

And that is were the confusion begins. 

Just as if God is God of everything, or God of nothing. You are either a Christian or not a Christian. There is no half-way house for Christianity. And if you are a true believer, you shouldn't want such a place anyway.

The grey area here in this mess of struggle comes from self. 

Fitting your life, your everyday, into that of a person of faith.

That's where the true struggle is. 

"I'm struggling with my faith" = "I'm having trouble living my life in line with that of God's."

And that is not God's problem. 

(It's yours.) 

Motherhood's Diaper

I have been a mom now for two months and ten days. And somehow, it feels like I have been a mommy my entire life. 

Yes, I was that little girl that carted around her Cabbage Patch Kid everywhere she went in that tiny, Made from China, plastic stroller. 

Yes, I was that little girl who dressed up her Guinea Pigs in doll dresses and made them sit for afternoon tea with Teddy Grams for dessert. 

Yes, I was that little girl who started babysitting way too early in life, because I loved kids and wanted to be a mom someday.

Eventhough I have been a "real" mom for shorter time than most anything else I have done in my life, it doesn't feel that way.

And for that, I am grateful.

Last night, the baby had a blow-out in his diaper while daddy was holding him. And instead of daddy taking care of the problem himself, what did he do? Yup. He passed the baby to me. And, yes, the blow-out was so bad, a bath was needed instead of a quick swipe of a wipe. 

As I was bathing my poor dirty baby, a totally unscheduled bathing to add, my husband comes into the bathroom and says, "Honey, you are so good at that."

And I got to thinking. 

You know, he's right, I am so good at cleaning up crap. 

It's comes so natural to me. 

Too Old for That!

While cleaning out the garage this past week, my mother-in-law found some old clothes that she used to wear. So she dug them out and started to wash them to be able to wear them again.

Last Friday, she asked if I would take her to visit her friends and they were going to go to Denny's. 

Well, as it was time to leave, she comes out of our guest room in a see-through shirt and skin tight leggings. I mean, she is not the thinnest person. I bet she wears of size 14 or 16. And in fact, I know for sure that the shirt she was wearing was an XL. And she is not the youngest person either, as she is in his mid-fifties. 

It was bad. You could see her gut peeking through the shirt, her fat rolls, her belly button, her black bra, her boobs that poured out over the bra. And her leggings that sucked into her thighs and hugged her booty. Ew. 

In short - That outfit was not meant for her. 

But I was not about to tell her that!

So when my husband got home from work, I told him to look at his mom's outfit when she got home. 

And about thirty minutes later, he did just that. 

And to my enjoyment, my husband went off on her. Saying everything I wanted to say but didn't have the guts to.

And to my surprise, she wasn't embarrassed, or didn't say something like, "Oh I didn't know you could see through it like that." 

No! Nothing! 

All she said was that she looked good.

But then my husband pulled out the big guns. And said. 

"Mom, would you really wear that outfit to pick up your five year old granddaughter from school?" 

That did it. 

She stopped defending her outfit. Which I am guessing she knew was ridiculous to begin with, but always enjoys a good argument. 

I can't do it?

If there is one phrase I do not like hearing from other people, it is that I cannot do something. 

Sure, I am not talking about police saying I can't do drugs. Or my boss saying I can't throw teenagers off of buildings. But, I am talking about when people say that I cannot do something, or accomplish something in my personal life. It just bugs me. And I want to come right out and say to them, "Watch me."

My mom usually reverse physiology on me. So this is one of her tactics. And I have come to the age of understanding that is why she does it. To inspire me. To push me. But when someone other than my mom says these things to me, without trying to use that reversal trick on me, I get angry.

Very angry.

And probably I am more angry about this one than most, because it came from my mother-in-law. 

After I got off of work the other day, I came home and was greeted to a semi/dirty house, not terrible, along with my hungry husband, her, and my five hungry pets. 

I quickly turned into superwoman and started rattling the pots and pans and getting everyone fed. 

After dinner, like just after dinner, with the dirty dishes still on the table, my mother-in-law says to me, "There is no way you are going to be able to do this with a baby, you need my help."

At first I was thinking, well, I did it just fine with you here, and I am guessing a baby is a lot easier than you! Not out loud of course.

But, then I did say aloud, like I usually do, "Watch me." 

And that really took her by surprise I think.

Because she said, "REALLY? You think so??? I don't think so!!!" And got up and started walking toward our guest room.

Ugh.

What exactly was the purpose of her saying that to me? Was it to scare me into thinking that I can't actually do it, and I really do need her help? Was it to put me down because I have a lot of things and people to care for and now I am adding another person into the mix? 

She has three children. She was a single mother. Our situations are far different from each. I have someone to co-parent. And so far. We only have one child. Sure, add the five pets in, and you probably got another child in there somewhere. But, really, only one! Not three. 

Never tell someone that you know that they can't do something. You don't have the right. Especially if they do not ask for your opinion in the first place. 

God knows what you can handle. And I strongly believe that the more you put your faith in Him, the less you have to worry about taking care of. He promises to do most of that for you.

People with little faith are sad creatures. I can do it.

Five Year Renewal

Sometimes I am flipping the channels on the tv and run across TMZ Live. It is a spin off of the regular TMZ, celebrity spotting/news show with Harvey Levin. 

Anyway, at the end of TMZ Live they always take viewer questions. 

Well, the other day, not on any particular topic, a viewer posted that she believes that marriages should no longer be life long commitments, but instead five year contracts. And no divorce may be warranted during that five year stretch. If you get married, you agree to five years, period. And once the five years is up, you meet with an attorney or mediator to renegotiate your marital terms or are granted a divorce. 

First, I have to say that my best guess is this lady is not currently married. I mean, really. A five year contract? Could you image the outcry this would cause among the religious community? And not to mention the outcry this would cause among the justice system? You mean to tell me that if your husband is beating you, you have to wait for the five years to be up to divorce him? 

Second, I have not been married five years yet. Almost. But not yet. And what I have learned over the not-yet-five years that I have been married, is that my marriage has changed, a lot, since we first got married. We are not the same people we were back then. And I would not know what to renegotiate from year one to year five in hopes of making it to year ten. It doesn't work like that. When you marry someone, you agree to be flexible and to be bonded to that person regardless of change. 

This five year contract vs. life long commitment brings up an interesting point about the separation of church and state. Society is trying so hard these days to keep the two so separate, but in reality, marriages force church and state to work together. 

I think I will stick with the life long plan. Anyone can commit five years to you I think. But only one other person can commit his whole life to you.