My brother's wedding was last weekend.
I spent months trying to find the perfect dress for me to wear that would match the color scheme, be fancy, and accommodate nursing my son.
I thought I found the dress for me, but when it came and I tried it on, I found that it was not the dress for me, and I had to return it.
The search continued and I found another one that wasn't as good as the first, but good enough, and unfortunately, it was a little over budget. But, I got it anyway because time was running out.
I was so looking forward to my brother's wedding. Was excited to meet his new family.
Come the day of the wedding, I spent time getting ready for it, probably more time than normal. Put my baby in the cutest tuxedo onesie that I bought months before just for this event. Again, spending more than I should have on the outfit.
As soon as we sit down in the church before the ceremony, baby starts to cry and his dad takes him out the remainder of the ceremony. No one gets to see him in his cute little tuxedo.
When the ceremony is over, we go right into picture taking and our side of the family is up first. I take baby from my husband and hold him against my chest. And then it happened.
The largest diaper blow-out we have ever experienced.
Not only was it coming up out of his collar from his neck, it was also seeping through all of his clothes, right onto my dress, which was off-white on top.
I had no choice but to change not only baby, but also myself.
We didn't have back-up wedding clothes. So baby got put into a super casual white onesie with plaid shorts and I put on a black, casual, dress that I had worn the day before.
And we spent the rest of the wedding in that.
My entire day was ruined.
I spent months trying to pick out the cutest outfits for us. Spending way more than I should have on both outfits. And for what?
I was so upset.
So embarrassed.
So frustrated.
I couldn't even enjoy the rest of the night.
Everyone else was in their elegant dresses and here I was in day old clothes.
That is not how I wish to remember my brother's wedding. And I really try to find the laughter in most things, but not this. This totally ruined my day.
Actually, it ruined a couple of days - I am obviously still upset about it.
I really hope that one day I can laugh about this...or hold it over my baby's head, "Remember when you blew out your diaper and made mommy so mad at your uncle's wedding?" - saying that right in front of his date.
But for right now, it is still pretty crappy!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
Change of Pace
After having my baby, I have become aware that my lifestyle has changed! (Go figure, right?)
One noticeable thing that has changed is my community service efforts.
I used to be very active in the once-a-week free meal service to the community at church. Almost once-a-month, I would plan, shop, prepare, cook, and clean-up a dinner for 100+ people (with help of course). And when I wasn't the PIC (person-in-charge), I would go and help serve.
After having the baby, that has changed, and I actually have not been back since giving birth, and that has left a great void in me.
I really enjoy giving back, and feel that I am called to do so as a Christian and a Christ follower. And I am finally into my new groove of life with baby on my hip and ready to get back into serving others. But, as it stands right now, I can't get back to the free dinners due to my scheduling. Obviously, I can't take the baby to church to cook without disruption and serve with hesitation. So that's out.
So now I am left with - well - what can I do with baby - and what do I feel called to do?
After some quick prayer - yes, I confess it was quick, not the great mediation I should have gone for - I felt God leading me to pray for others and to bring meals to the sick and healing.
I guess one of my spiritual gifts is food. Ha. Ha.
No, but in all seriousness, after I had given birth, I was brought dinner on two different nights. And it was such a small gesture, but had such a huge impact! That was so helpful to me and my family, and I really enjoyed the visits.
Last week, I felt the spirit move me to email two of my fellow church goers, not the ones in my regular circle, and I asked them if there was anything I could pray for them for.
And there was!
There was some actually pretty serious situations that needed prayer. And I felt honored to be able to pray with them on their requests.
I look forward to being led this week to pray for two or more people.
Also, I brought three meals to three different families last week. This venture of taking meals to the sick and healing is one that I have never done before. And to be truthful, it is more cost involved than I have ever gotten into as well (the free dinners that I prepared were always reimbursed). But I felt the spirit lead me to this service as well, and I know enough through my faith to trust that this is possible on our budget.
All through the cooking process for these families, I was able to pray over the food that it would nourish their bodies and heal their spirits. And that was special to me.
When I went to deliver the food, I was able to give a friendly smile and hug and let them love on baby (all were recovering from knee or hip replacements, not something contagious!). And that was encouraging to me as well.
Eventhough I miss serving with the free weekly dinners at church, I am learning to enjoy this new style of service. And I am grateful that the Holy spirit is there to lead me through new service opportunities that still lay ahead.
Just have to remember to keep me heart and ears open for those opportunities.
One noticeable thing that has changed is my community service efforts.
I used to be very active in the once-a-week free meal service to the community at church. Almost once-a-month, I would plan, shop, prepare, cook, and clean-up a dinner for 100+ people (with help of course). And when I wasn't the PIC (person-in-charge), I would go and help serve.
After having the baby, that has changed, and I actually have not been back since giving birth, and that has left a great void in me.
I really enjoy giving back, and feel that I am called to do so as a Christian and a Christ follower. And I am finally into my new groove of life with baby on my hip and ready to get back into serving others. But, as it stands right now, I can't get back to the free dinners due to my scheduling. Obviously, I can't take the baby to church to cook without disruption and serve with hesitation. So that's out.
So now I am left with - well - what can I do with baby - and what do I feel called to do?
After some quick prayer - yes, I confess it was quick, not the great mediation I should have gone for - I felt God leading me to pray for others and to bring meals to the sick and healing.
I guess one of my spiritual gifts is food. Ha. Ha.
No, but in all seriousness, after I had given birth, I was brought dinner on two different nights. And it was such a small gesture, but had such a huge impact! That was so helpful to me and my family, and I really enjoyed the visits.
Last week, I felt the spirit move me to email two of my fellow church goers, not the ones in my regular circle, and I asked them if there was anything I could pray for them for.
And there was!
There was some actually pretty serious situations that needed prayer. And I felt honored to be able to pray with them on their requests.
I look forward to being led this week to pray for two or more people.
Also, I brought three meals to three different families last week. This venture of taking meals to the sick and healing is one that I have never done before. And to be truthful, it is more cost involved than I have ever gotten into as well (the free dinners that I prepared were always reimbursed). But I felt the spirit lead me to this service as well, and I know enough through my faith to trust that this is possible on our budget.
All through the cooking process for these families, I was able to pray over the food that it would nourish their bodies and heal their spirits. And that was special to me.
When I went to deliver the food, I was able to give a friendly smile and hug and let them love on baby (all were recovering from knee or hip replacements, not something contagious!). And that was encouraging to me as well.
Eventhough I miss serving with the free weekly dinners at church, I am learning to enjoy this new style of service. And I am grateful that the Holy spirit is there to lead me through new service opportunities that still lay ahead.
Just have to remember to keep me heart and ears open for those opportunities.
FINALLY!
My husband and I love fast food.
Ok, maybe not love, but we like it.
Ok, maybe not like, but we use it.
Honestly, I can think of only like one thing I really at a fast food place. Out of all of the fast food places around!
But, we do eat fast food a lot. In fact, last week, I counted how much we used it. We ate lunch three times at a fast food place. And we ate dinner twice. That's five times in one week!
Ouch.
And I wonder why I can't do a full work out at the gym.
But I got to thinking...
If you don't even like fast food all that much, why do you use it so often?
Simple.
It's easy.
When my husband and I are in a rush somewhere, we pick up fast food. When my husband and I are starving, we pick up fast food. When we have had a long day at work and don't want to mess up the kitchen, we get fast food instead.
It's easy.
It's fast.
And we don't really have to plan ahead.
We just drive there, pick something out and have it in our mouths in less than five minutes.
Fast food, has made us very lazy eaters.
And I notice that I eat much healthier choices, when I am not starving.
So. This week. I am going to test my theory of lazy eating. I have already gone shopping for food. I have meals planned out. And I am going to try my best to have meals ready before we get hungry, to avoid the rush to find something to eat fast when we are starving!
Wish me luck.
Ok, maybe not love, but we like it.
Ok, maybe not like, but we use it.
Honestly, I can think of only like one thing I really at a fast food place. Out of all of the fast food places around!
But, we do eat fast food a lot. In fact, last week, I counted how much we used it. We ate lunch three times at a fast food place. And we ate dinner twice. That's five times in one week!
Ouch.
And I wonder why I can't do a full work out at the gym.
But I got to thinking...
If you don't even like fast food all that much, why do you use it so often?
Simple.
It's easy.
When my husband and I are in a rush somewhere, we pick up fast food. When my husband and I are starving, we pick up fast food. When we have had a long day at work and don't want to mess up the kitchen, we get fast food instead.
It's easy.
It's fast.
And we don't really have to plan ahead.
We just drive there, pick something out and have it in our mouths in less than five minutes.
Fast food, has made us very lazy eaters.
And I notice that I eat much healthier choices, when I am not starving.
So. This week. I am going to test my theory of lazy eating. I have already gone shopping for food. I have meals planned out. And I am going to try my best to have meals ready before we get hungry, to avoid the rush to find something to eat fast when we are starving!
Wish me luck.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Take a Message for Me!
I have always been taught to treat people as I wish to be treated.
And I think I am being tested on this.
For the last two years, I have been in contact with a woman and her family in need. The church has provided her family with holiday food baskets. And on occasion, she has called asking for additional food assistance.
The last three or four months however, it has gotten really bad.
She has called asking for food, toilet paper, and dog food, almost on a monthly basis. And the assistance always has to come right this second, never in a day or two.
Now, our church supports a local food pantry. And this woman can certainly go use that pantry. However, she cannot, because she has already used up her "free" passes with the pantry, that offers food assistance three times in a calendar year to families.
It's not even March yet people!
The house that she lives at is not the best. It is dirty. It is cluttered. It is smelly. And I think they run a shanky puppy mill out of their house too.
Obviously this family needs more financial income since they are seeking out for food assistance.
But I am almost certain that they already receive government assistance, and just are not using it efficiently. And, yes, I know I should not be that person who wants to dictate how their money is spent.
But still!
The lady has called at least three times in the last week, and each time she does, I ask the secretary to take a message.
I was hoping that the lady would get the hint. But clearly she has not yet.
If this family didn't include any children, I think I would be better at telling them I can no longer provide assistance. But, there are children involved. And I just hate the knowing that there are hungry children out there.
Treat others as you treat yourself.
Well, that means calling back and dealing with it.
And I think I am being tested on this.
For the last two years, I have been in contact with a woman and her family in need. The church has provided her family with holiday food baskets. And on occasion, she has called asking for additional food assistance.
The last three or four months however, it has gotten really bad.
She has called asking for food, toilet paper, and dog food, almost on a monthly basis. And the assistance always has to come right this second, never in a day or two.
Now, our church supports a local food pantry. And this woman can certainly go use that pantry. However, she cannot, because she has already used up her "free" passes with the pantry, that offers food assistance three times in a calendar year to families.
It's not even March yet people!
The house that she lives at is not the best. It is dirty. It is cluttered. It is smelly. And I think they run a shanky puppy mill out of their house too.
Obviously this family needs more financial income since they are seeking out for food assistance.
But I am almost certain that they already receive government assistance, and just are not using it efficiently. And, yes, I know I should not be that person who wants to dictate how their money is spent.
But still!
The lady has called at least three times in the last week, and each time she does, I ask the secretary to take a message.
I was hoping that the lady would get the hint. But clearly she has not yet.
If this family didn't include any children, I think I would be better at telling them I can no longer provide assistance. But, there are children involved. And I just hate the knowing that there are hungry children out there.
Treat others as you treat yourself.
Well, that means calling back and dealing with it.
Ah, Women
I am sure all of the men have perked up their ears from the title of this rant.
But, first, let me say, I am a woman. Proud owner of every womanly body part there is.
Now let me say, I don't understand women.
(And the men say, "AMEN SISTER!")
Sure, it is not fair for me to generalize EVERY woman into this proclamation. But, for ranting sake, it will remain.
From reading my other blog posts, you already know that I consider myself a "potato" heart. I am not overly emotional. I lead with my brain in most cases, not my heart. My husband was the one to cry at the birth of our child for Heaven's Sake, as I laid there not looking at the precious face of my newborn, but instead looking at the doctor asking when I could get up and leave.
I don't understand emotional women.
It is said that when you lead with your emotions, you are leading with false hope. And I almost totally agree with that. You should lead with truth and reason.
I don't understand women who cause drama.
It is said that when you cause drama you cause it to either bring more positive attention to yourself, or to bring more negative attention to the person you are gossiping about.
I don't understand women who are selfish.
To me, yes, I am generalizing again, women are nurturers, women are partners, women are caring. And I don't get the women who are self-seeking, self-serving. God didn't create Eve to open an apple business. Think that about.
I don't understand women who control the men in their lives.
I know so many women who literally and figuratively wear the pants in their relationships. And truthfully, we are taught to share the pant wearing. But why do so many men have little to no say in their relationships? Why even have a partner if all we are going to do is control them?
I don't understand women who are "busy."
Ugh. I really don't like that word. It is so unapproachable. It leaves no room for feedback, no room for a relationship to grow. "How are you?" Answer: "Busy." Well, then, guess you are too busy for me! (And, for God if you think about it.)
I could go on and on. But as a member of the womanhood movement, I am embarrassed by my follow members. We all should do more to improve our movement of sisterhood.
But, first, let me say, I am a woman. Proud owner of every womanly body part there is.
Now let me say, I don't understand women.
(And the men say, "AMEN SISTER!")
Sure, it is not fair for me to generalize EVERY woman into this proclamation. But, for ranting sake, it will remain.
From reading my other blog posts, you already know that I consider myself a "potato" heart. I am not overly emotional. I lead with my brain in most cases, not my heart. My husband was the one to cry at the birth of our child for Heaven's Sake, as I laid there not looking at the precious face of my newborn, but instead looking at the doctor asking when I could get up and leave.
I don't understand emotional women.
It is said that when you lead with your emotions, you are leading with false hope. And I almost totally agree with that. You should lead with truth and reason.
I don't understand women who cause drama.
It is said that when you cause drama you cause it to either bring more positive attention to yourself, or to bring more negative attention to the person you are gossiping about.
I don't understand women who are selfish.
To me, yes, I am generalizing again, women are nurturers, women are partners, women are caring. And I don't get the women who are self-seeking, self-serving. God didn't create Eve to open an apple business. Think that about.
I don't understand women who control the men in their lives.
I know so many women who literally and figuratively wear the pants in their relationships. And truthfully, we are taught to share the pant wearing. But why do so many men have little to no say in their relationships? Why even have a partner if all we are going to do is control them?
I don't understand women who are "busy."
Ugh. I really don't like that word. It is so unapproachable. It leaves no room for feedback, no room for a relationship to grow. "How are you?" Answer: "Busy." Well, then, guess you are too busy for me! (And, for God if you think about it.)
I could go on and on. But as a member of the womanhood movement, I am embarrassed by my follow members. We all should do more to improve our movement of sisterhood.
To Be or Not To Be...Is That A Question?
The phrase, "struggling with my faith" seems like an oxymoron to me.
To me, there is no struggle. Faith either is or is not. There is no fight about it. It is true or not true. You either believe, or don't believe. Period.
But. I have witnessed so many times, people "struggling" with faith.
And I just don't get it.
God is either God of everything, or God of nothing. Jesus is either the Son of God, or the Son of Nothing.
There is no grey area here. It truly is as black and white, as, well, the colors black and white.
However, what I have come to realize is that people aren't struggling with faith itself. They are struggling with themselves in the life of faith.
And that is were the confusion begins.
Just as if God is God of everything, or God of nothing. You are either a Christian or not a Christian. There is no half-way house for Christianity. And if you are a true believer, you shouldn't want such a place anyway.
The grey area here in this mess of struggle comes from self.
Fitting your life, your everyday, into that of a person of faith.
That's where the true struggle is.
"I'm struggling with my faith" = "I'm having trouble living my life in line with that of God's."
And that is not God's problem.
(It's yours.)
To me, there is no struggle. Faith either is or is not. There is no fight about it. It is true or not true. You either believe, or don't believe. Period.
But. I have witnessed so many times, people "struggling" with faith.
And I just don't get it.
God is either God of everything, or God of nothing. Jesus is either the Son of God, or the Son of Nothing.
There is no grey area here. It truly is as black and white, as, well, the colors black and white.
However, what I have come to realize is that people aren't struggling with faith itself. They are struggling with themselves in the life of faith.
And that is were the confusion begins.
Just as if God is God of everything, or God of nothing. You are either a Christian or not a Christian. There is no half-way house for Christianity. And if you are a true believer, you shouldn't want such a place anyway.
The grey area here in this mess of struggle comes from self.
Fitting your life, your everyday, into that of a person of faith.
That's where the true struggle is.
"I'm struggling with my faith" = "I'm having trouble living my life in line with that of God's."
And that is not God's problem.
(It's yours.)
Motherhood's Diaper
I have been a mom now for two months and ten days. And somehow, it feels like I have been a mommy my entire life.
Yes, I was that little girl that carted around her Cabbage Patch Kid everywhere she went in that tiny, Made from China, plastic stroller.
Yes, I was that little girl who dressed up her Guinea Pigs in doll dresses and made them sit for afternoon tea with Teddy Grams for dessert.
Yes, I was that little girl who started babysitting way too early in life, because I loved kids and wanted to be a mom someday.
Eventhough I have been a "real" mom for shorter time than most anything else I have done in my life, it doesn't feel that way.
And for that, I am grateful.
Last night, the baby had a blow-out in his diaper while daddy was holding him. And instead of daddy taking care of the problem himself, what did he do? Yup. He passed the baby to me. And, yes, the blow-out was so bad, a bath was needed instead of a quick swipe of a wipe.
As I was bathing my poor dirty baby, a totally unscheduled bathing to add, my husband comes into the bathroom and says, "Honey, you are so good at that."
And I got to thinking.
You know, he's right, I am so good at cleaning up crap.
It's comes so natural to me.
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